Coming Down
by GuardianAthens
Summary: Human!AU. Ever since that day, he was pushed beyond every parameter. Ever since, he was an enigma of his crumbling corner of the world. Little did they realize that Feliciano would be ready and willing to pull a trigger to find an escape.
1. Coming Down

**_For those who have just arrived:_**

**_Welcome to my fanfic. I hope you're ready for a punch in the gut and may more to the feels. This story does contain a long our triggering subjects like suicide and bullying, and a lot of other things. If you're not good with that, I ask you to step out in a calm and orderly manner. If you can handle it, then enjoy~_**

**_For those who came back for the edits:_**

**_Welcome home you crazy people! I see you wanted to see the pretty edits before moving on, huh? Well you're welcome here as always. If you missed the A/U Chapter 23, then go there first babies! then come back. It'll help a bit. After that, go read the pretty shiny new things!_**

**_-Chapter Inspired by 'Coming Down' by Five Finger Death Punch-_**

* * *

_"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." -Phil Donahue_

He ghosted his fingers over the shiny silver case he had resting before him. He had bought it just to ensure he had a way out, a last-ditch effort to keep them away. He plucked the latches opened, and lifted the lip, revealing his brand new hand gun, and it's ammo sitting patiently to be loaded into the gun. He let his apprehensively held breath loose, watching the air around him ripple. He now ghosted his fingers over the gun, watching it mirror his face. He hated it, the look it was giving him, like the others did. He growled at the reflection, and slammed the case shut. He curled up around the case, rocking back and forth gently.

Why was it so hard to accept that this was right?

He stopped his rocking, and stared out of his bay windows across from him. They showed his small street, leading right up to the high school. He hated that sickening hell hole. He wanted it to burn with all its lies and bullies, its disappointments and long gone causes. The place was the bane of his pitiful, lacking existence. He barely went to school now and any and every time he did, it was reopening and reliving the horrors he was put through. Each punch, each slam, each disgusted word and shout scarred him. He absently ran a hand down his arm, feeling the small scars from releasing the pain from the assaults. They were never his problem, though his brother always thought otherwise.

"_What the hell, fratello!" his brother, Lovino, shouted as he tugged hard at his bleeding arm, his other hand holding his razor. He had walked in on him cutting, slicing away his sorrow and scarring himself for life._

"_It's none of your business!" he choked out, face set in a manner that seemed both angry and euphoric; the pain of the razor still lingered even as the blood was smeared by the hand now gripping it._

"_You're going to kill yourself, what is going on?!" his brother shouted again. Both boys stood their ground. He refused to answer the enraged family member, as he had no business in what he did to himself. He tugged hard, trying to pull away from the hand, to continue his work. The grip only increased, causing small tears to build in his eyes from the sharpness of the unfamiliar feel of real pain._

"_Answer me Feliciano, or so help me I will tell Nonno!" Lovino threatened. He wouldn't stop staring at his face, so determined to shake him out of it. Feliciano instead just shook his head, ignoring his brother's pushes. His brother, flabbergasted, let go of the arm and razor, hearing it fall to the ground with a sharp sound. He knew it was pointless now. He set his face a blank as possible, tears breaking through the shield. Lovino pushed the door of the room open, and said the last thing he would ever say to him again before leaving._

"_Fine. I won't stop you anymore…"_

He opened his closed eyes, not a single tear falling down. He never felt anything for that moment now. He knew his family hated him, hated him for coming out of his pit of regret. They were heavily catholic, strictly to the bible, verse by verse. Of course they would hate him for being gay, for being a homo…

And more recently, from almost everyone, a fag.

Fag, homo, sinner, and different; the words they seemed to think described him best. Being different was always the answer for the punishment they dished out onto him. Being different got him shoved into walls and beaten until blue and purple, getting poked and probed by people who claimed they could help but hurt him instead, always hurt and chipped away at until nothing was left. He knew he deserved it, because it would never stop. He would never stop his personal sexuality, so the beatings, the name-calling, hatred and hazing from every corner of his life and community would continue, and it was right. He knew of one way, however, that would get him out of the never-ending cycle of shame and hatred.

The gun was the key to it. To the paradise waiting to take him away from the horrors.

He steadied his sporadic breath and the tears that had begun to fall. He sealed the latches of the case once more, and hid the case back into its hiding spot, behind a panel he cut out of his wall next to his bed. He hid it behind his long abandoned art supplies, and whispered his usual nightly prayers for God to grant him safe passage through the next events.

He crawled into bed and dreamt of long lost memories of childhood. Tears fell without notice as he sank into the arms of his sickly-sweet dreams.

* * *

Monday came along once more. The past day's remembrance of history came full stop as he awoke, scratching at his cutting scars. He slowly prepped himself for his last day at school.

He picked up the long-abandoned backpack from the back of his closet. He would dare walk into the hellhole across the street one last time, to say his goodbyes and to give what he planned to give away. He stuffed his thin binder into the sack, and the few items he would leave in his last surviving and thoughtful friends he could trust in. His small sketchbook full of drawings of people and everyday life, the only set of sheet music he ever owned and composed, a small novelty music box and its key.

The Iron Cross he treasured for his entire life.

He rubbed it once more by instinct before shoving it into his pocket instead. He dressed in his school required uniform quickly, lifted his small blue jacket from its rack, shoved on his brown school shoes and left for the downstairs living room.

To say his small family was surprised to see him downstairs on a school day was the biggest understatement of all time.

His brothers, Lovino and Sebastian, stared at him like he was a ghost come to haunt them, not sure if it was real or not. They simply stammered out bits and pieces of words, trying to comprehend his appearance to the room he now never entered unless he was desperate. Lovino slowly realized it wasn't a dream, or a figment of his imagination, and sobered up, growling slightly at him before digging back into his usual toast for breakfast. Sebastian too sobered up, smiling sadly at him before returning to his cereal. He was probably the only person to do so in every close circle he used to be in. Their nonno, who had walked in with another plate of toast and bacon, scolded Sebastian for such actions, and simply ignored Feliciano's existence like any other day. Feliciano didn't feel anything for the old fart, anyway anymore. The man had disowned him the day he announced his feelings. He walked around the small family huddle now forming and simply grabbed for a small bottle of water.

"G-good morning Feli" Sebastian said timidly. Feliciano did not look up at the awaiting faces of his family as he withdrew from the fridge, closing the door hard. He opened the bottle, chugged a few mouthfuls, and shoved it into the only intact side pocket of his backpack. He passed the trio once more, and stopped right before the door to the outside.

His hand hovered over the knob, afraid of the consequences of what he was going to do. He closed his eyes, and whispered to himself, 'Never look back'. It kept him going when he doubted his actions. His scars flared up, sending him the signal to go. He could also hear the footfalls of his siblings as they gathered their school supplies to leave for school. He threw the door open, and slowly threw his hood up over his head, covering his curl and his darkened face. He walked slowly down their path, hearing the ruckus of students across the street shout and cackle; the usual banter of a school day morning. The door creaked behind him, signaling his sibling's arrival to the outside. Feli walked calmly to the edge of the road, looked haphazardly both ways, and walked calmly across. Nothing nor no one yelled at him to run, seeing as no one cared for his presence. As he reached the other side, he sneaked a peak to his brothers, who sprinted across as well, but steered clear of him, running up in front of him, chatting like usual.

He accepted the invisibility. It was a welcome silence from the annoying shouting of the others.

Sebastian sneaked a peak as his brother before he ran up to the front steps of the school, joining his friend Peter, and their gaggle of friends. Feli didn't need to watch Lovino as he raced up to meet his group of friends near the gazebo in the school courtyard, and every single one of them both boy and girl hated him. A girl sneered at him as Feli lowered his head, ducking into the courtyard quickly, before anyone else noticed him.

He was clear so far, mounting the steps into the main hall. He let out an unconscious breath as he pushed open the door, only to have it slammed into his face, knocking him to the ground. His hood flung off, revealing his face to the students stepping out.

"Well hi there Feliciano!" cried out one student, a smirk crossing his face. "Long time no see buddy!"

Feliciano sat up shakily, trying to stand back up before they started to continue their ritual on him. His efforts ended in bloody vain as he was shoved down the stairs, and their feet fell upon his face, kicking the crap out of him until each bruise was black and blue and his face was numb. His eyesight was so blurred and displaced; he barely could make out the solid fist making its way to his face as he found a break in the attack. He tried to defend himself, to block it, but he was suddenly hauled upward. Two of the boy's friends had him held upright by his arms, and the flying fist collided hard with his stomach. He kept the rising bile from escaping his mouth, and curled up on himself, refusing to listen to the boy's taunts and comments.

"Enough!"

The boy's assault slowly died down as someone came up to the hustle, breaking up the circling students just watching him be beaten up. One boy hissed out a warning.

"Fuck off, Ludwig. You're not a teacher, so let us get on with 'business'" he said, and the boys holding Feli raised him up. He didn't lift his head to look at the student that stopped the beating, and did not hear the exchange. His savior scoffed at the pathetic bullies, pointing out the sudden ringing above them.

"If you're stupid enough to risk being expelled because you're beating Feli up in broad daylight, go ahead. It would be fun to watch the principle and the grounds keepers haul your asses off"

The bullies scrambled to get away, dropping Feli onto his face. Everyone started to bolt inside, some murmuring about the assault while some took pictures. Only a few whispered sorrowfully about it; too little to build any sort of confidence. Feliciano just laid there for a moment, then felt a hand grab his arm. He flinched into it as he was shadowed by a bulky figure. Feliciano finally looked up at him. To say he was amazed at what was helping him, the weak homo, is a bigger understatement then the earlier one.

Soft blonde hair swept back completely from his face, and piercing cerulean blue eyes. Perfect black square glasses framed his face, and a worried frown was fixed on his face. Feli had to do a double take to realize who it was, and how he was suddenly feeling something for him.

It was Ludwig, one of the few people who didn't hurt him, but he didn't seem to completely approve either; a rare middle ground that he liked, he liked a lot. He was also one of the few he was friends with still. He also blushed as he let him rise him off the ground. He never though it would be happening now, his heart beating out of control, blush stretching to his ears as his only best friend pulled him back to unsettled feet. He felt like collapsing onto him, forgetting the horrors of his life, and living it with him.

Lies. It had to be done, he would never like, never feel for him like he did.

"Why did you come back, Feli?" Ludwig asked, watching as Feli pulled the hood back over his head. He lowered his head, trying to block his view of the blush still spread out on his face. He raised his head after a bit, some of the blush still there.

"I don't know why" he confessed. He _knew _why but it still hurt to think about it. The Iron Cross in his pocket seemed to weigh much more then he thought. How was he going to say goodbye?

"We should get to class. Meet me by your locker after school Ludwig?" Feli said, faking a faint smile. Ludwig squinted at him for a moment, and then took hold of his forearm, squeezing it lightly.

"Sure. Just be careful today" Feli nodded feverishly at him, and bolted inside, leaving Ludwig to wonder why he raced back into his personal hell. Feliciano honestly didn't know himself why he did, but he knew he had to get away from Ludwig, before he changed his mind on his plan.

* * *

His first and second periods were living hells, dodging punches and spit balls as the teachers ignored the obvious bullying. His only reprieve from it was when a few females in each class stood up for him once it hit the regular fever pitch, shouting at his tormentors to keep to themselves. These boys always had soft spots for the girls, so they backed down while they protected him, but the notes and snide side comments hit their marks. He barely held tears back as he barreled out of second period, heading for one of his best-but-should-be-worst classes; P.E. He was just glad that his teacher, Mr. Dale, understood his predicament and supported those who were gay. He ran into the locker room, dodging his tormentors and disappearing into Mr. Dale's office, where he was safe. He pressed himself against the door, taking in shallow breaths. He knew he saw Ludwig undressing as he ran, shirtless and buff. Each part of his six-pack somehow gleamed with sweat, and his arms…

Stop.

"Feliciano! Thank goodness, you're ok!" Mr. Dale cheered from behind his desk, looking at him. Feli opened his eyes and let a very small smile linger on his lips. Mr. Dale tossed him the usual pass, and opened the back door into the hall.

"Just report to fourth when the bell rings, alright?" Mr. Dale said. He knew he needed time, the entire time. Feli adjusted his backpack, thanked Mr. Dale for the help again, and stepped out, shoving the pass into his pocket. The door shut closed, and he turned down the left side of the hallway. Now was the time to give the items to their new items.

Finding Roderich's locker was easy, and opening it even more so. He slid the music sheet, and a prepared note, into it, and shut it silently. Now onto Elizabeta. Her locker wasn't far from Roderich's, and the box and key nestled onto the top shelf. The note would be inside it, he remembered. His next stop was on the other side of school.

Ludwig's locker. He would take a long time to get there, to avoid more torment unneeded in the next period. He slowly started to make his way, mind wandering as he rubbed the Iron Cross in his pocket.

It just felt weird, to fall back in love with one who would never return it, and then never return. He wanted to believe, wanted it to be real, that Ludwig would love him, but the bitter reality was it was wrong. Ludwig was straight, probably disgusted by his homosexuality, but keeping up an appearance to seem like he cared for him still. Keeping up an appearance, that's what he was good at for the past year now. He made himself look ok with all the torment and rejection and isolation, and everyone that abandoned him for being different. Very few cared for him, or just did to get closer and hurt him. Ludwig was the only true person he had left, if he was still true to his cause. He helped him back before he had basically quit school. Now, now he could just be an asshole waiting to strike when they meet up, to push him to the point of just drowning in the lake down the road, leaving no evidence anywhere. He wouldn't need the gun, he could do it. He tightened his grip on the Cross.

The gun would give him time to let his family know he was done.

He barely realized that the next period had begun and was almost done with. He almost completely missed Ludwig's locker too. He ran his hand over the cold metal, and let a few tears release themselves. Now or never, Feliciano, because you won't see him again. He entered Ludwig's combo into his lock and the locker opened easily. He stashed the sketchbook inside, tucking the card inside and letting it stick out like a bookmark. He closed it silently, and leaned onto it. The last moment of pure clarity before the bell rang for everyone's release. He squirmed on the cold metal, crying to fight the last tears starting to fall. There was no point to cry anymore. There was no other way, because everyone would betray him, would hate him, until he did die.

"Feliciano!" he snapped out of his thoughts, and noticed the lack of students running out of classes. Ludwig stood a few feet from him, looking at him a bit oddly. Feli started to freak out, and jumped off the locker, shoving his hands into his pants pockets again.

"H-Hey Ludwig!" he said as the blonde drew closer. He eyed his locker, then Feliciano.

"Is everything ok, Feli?" he asked quietly. Feli squirmed a bit, blushing again. It was time, after so much convincing. He slowly pulled the Iron Cross out of his pocket, and laid it flat on his palms. He held it out to Ludwig, who look astonished at the string-bound object.

"It's not that I hate you, or anything, Ludwig, but…" Feli started to say, but tears came faster than he thought. He hissed out a warning to himself, and shook as he pushed the necklace closer to its original bearer.

"I…I just…." Feli stuttered out. Ludwig couldn't rip his eyes from Feli's face, watching the tears fall silently, without notice or care. He could barely reach for Feli's face to wipe them away before the boy threw the necklace down at his feet and bolt away, knocking him down in the process.

"I'M SORRY!" followed Feli's footsteps as he sprinted away.

Ludwig was in full protective mode now, because this wasn't normal at all. The cruel realization of what was happening hit him like Feli's goodbye. He bolted upright, grabbing the necklace. He nearly ripped his locker door off its hinges, and a sketchbook flopped in his arms. The note fluttered and wobbled on his arm. He grabbed it, ripped it open, and stared shocked at the words that painted the cream colored paper.

_"I wish you good luck without me. I wanted you to have this because you deserved to have it before it burned in Hell with me._

_Thanks at least for staying with me to the end. I hope you remember-"_

He whipped his phone out quickly, and started to call Elizabeta, hoping she had gotten something of the sort as well. She picked up quickly.

"Ludwig, that god! Did you…"

"Yes, and I'm stopping him. Tell Roderich the same thing. I'm not letting him go yet"

* * *

Feliciano was home later than anticipated, and almost slammed his brother into the floorboards as he rushed his front door open. As he stepped inside, everything calmed; his heartbeat, his mind, and the involuntary shaking from his meeting with Ludwig. Lovino had been caught behind it and was slammed to the ground hard. He quickly got up and shouted-cursed at him to stop slamming shit into him constantly and to stop running into him. Feli barely mumbled 'sorry' before quickly walking past him, and mounted the stairs, taking them two at a time, and rushed into his room, closing the door gently.

Now his heartbeat met with his feet as he pulled the gun case out of its hole, and swiped the silver top with his hand. It was time. He unlatched the case carefully, and swept his eyes over the deadly weapon. He sat Indian-style on the ground, and pulled each bullet out, one-by-one, and lined them up; enough bullets to fit the entire chamber. He held a strict face as he loaded one into the chamber.

"Feliciano!" someone was coming up! Feli barely could shove the bullets underneath his blanket which lay next to him before he was pulled upward, gun in his left hand, and pressed up against someone's chest. Their hearts both beat at a mile a minute, both being able to feel it thump against their rib cages. Feliciano didn't need to look up at who was now embracing him for dear life.

"Thank god I caught you, Feli" Ludwig whispered. He pressed him closer to him, resting his head on Feli's quaking shoulders. Feli couldn't stop the shaking. Tears immediately fell down, pouring in great rivers down his face and onto Ludwig's shoulders. Ludwig dug the hand on Feli's back tighter into the already rigid muscle.

"Why would you think of such a thing, Feli? I realize that it seems to be the only way out of it, but suicide never is!" Ludwig said, his voice breaking as rare tears built up in his eyes. He could feel Feli sob hard, and his arms wove around Ludwig, the gun clattering to the ground.

"I don't know what would've happened if you left me…" Ludwig whispered into his shoulder. Feli gasped as the words left Ludwig's mouth. Did he…

Feli tightened his grip, finally feeling something besides depression and coldness. He felt warmth, and acceptance. He felt love for once. He hadn't felt these warm emotions for almost a year, and even if they did they were too short to be considered anything.

Now he had a reason to stay, and that reason was holding him.

"I think though I have a solution to get out of all of this, Feli" Both drew back, still holding the other. Germany had his glasses off, and Feli blushed brightly as he met the unobstructed eyes he came to swoon over. Feli titled his head in confusion. Ludwig leaned into his ear, and whispered.

"Come live with my family. They could care less if you're gay" another gasp escaped Feli, and he pulled Ludwig into another hug. He tapped on the blonde's back in their own form of sign language 'yes'.

Feli, right there, was glad that he was rescued. He would have missed everything if he had pulled the trigger. He looked up from the hug, and whispered a 'thank you' to the Lord above. Maybe he really did approve of such things after all.


	2. Carry On

**_-Chapter Inspired by 'Carry On' by Fun.-_**

* * *

It seemed to happen so fast. One day, he was preparing for suicide, to rid himself from a world that didn't seem to need him besides to be a punching bag for homophobic assholes. The next day, he was sneaking out everything he owned while his family was out, and leaving his once bright home turned haunted home. He really was leaving with Ludwig. He was just finishing up his removal from the place he now felt nothing for. He didn't know why, but leaving hurt still. He knew that his family didn't really care. They didn't see him really as a 'person'. Maybe Sebastian, but he was smothered by the others, forced to see from their level. He let out a rested sigh, and opened the old gun case, smiling at the contents. He set the pre-planned note on it and simply walked out, letting it to be seen by any who entered. He was going to let them know he was done with their crap.

He slowly walked down the hand railed stairs, running his hands down the guardrail. The memories of sliding down it never came, and he was glad that it was this way. He jumped off the stairs at the second-to-last step, and smiled proudly. It seemed that everything was going to be okay. He looked around the foyer, and made his way to the only full family picture lying on the fireplace banister. He simply looked at it for a few moments, brushing his hands on the fireplace. It was taken a while back, when things were simpler, and they didn't hate him. Everyone was smiling, and posing. He was up front with Sebastian hugged up to his side, smiling like a total flirt. Romano somehow had a smile on his face too. His nonno even looked happy. He could make out a few blurry faces in the background too, and a lot of blond hair.

He lifted it gently down from its resting place and looked at it more closely. In the background closest to them was a smirking blonde male, a long braid falling down one side of his face. He tilted it sideways, trying to make out the man in the background. Nothing came to memory of the mystery blond elder.

"You ready, Feliciano?" Feliciano turned around with a smile to find Ludwig standing behind him. Feli looked quickly at the photo and tucked it in between his arms, and walked up to him.

"One photo to remember them by. They _are_ my family even if they're assholes" Feli said, bouncing on the front of his feet. Ludwig nodded and offered a hand. Feli chuckled and told hold of it, tucking the picture into the other arm, and followed him out. Before he closed the door, abandoning the life was forced to live through, he looked back once more. No more would they destroy him to the point of pulling a trigger.

"No more…" he said, and closed the front door, and followed Ludwig up to his car, stuffed with his things. He climbed into the passenger side, and Ludwig followed into driver. With the turn of a key and the rev of an engine as it pulled away, Feliciano had officially left behind the life he had, and started a new one; the one he truly wanted.

* * *

The drive to Ludwig's home was so serene and beautiful and green, Feli constantly kept his eyes in the area around him, amazed at the pure beauty of the woods and sloping terrain. If there was one perfect spot to paint and sketch, this was it, out in the country, not too far away from the bustle of city life. Feli sighed contently, laying his head on the open window. The breeze generated by the cars movement tossed his hair around, but he didn't mind at all. It was a nice feeling.

"How much longer until we get there?" Feli asked, watching a bridge come up into sight. Ludwig chuckled, and took the next left turn, right on to the road with the bridge.

"Just over this bridge. We actually recently moved" Ludwig said, pointing to the appearing line of familiar city. They were finally out of the small town they were used to, and into the wilder, livelier world. Feli though was more interested in the moving story.

"Really? How come you were still at the old school and area?"

"Because I wouldn't…um…I needed to make sure grades and such were transferred to the new one" Ludwig said, flushing at the almost-revealing statement. Feli looked over at Ludwig, who tried to breathe the blush away. He chuckled softly and poked the German's face, smiling ear to ear. Ludwig looked wildly at him.

"You look really cute when you blush, Luddy~" Feli cooed, turning Ludwig into a right shade of red. He stopped his torment and nodded off into the view once more. The peaks of some houses could finally be seen as they crossed over and away from the bridge. Feli went back to humming and staring out into the scenery. Ludwig was trying his best to keep driving, but couldn't stop the blush from rising up on his face softly. He didn't regret it at all.

The town was relatively large, having its own downtown, oldtown, and its rural town and countryside. The city itself was large and noisy, like it should be. The bright signs and fast paced people burled in bright colored blurs as they drove past. Feliciano was left awestruck at such sights, seeing that he never lived in the busy city before. They rounded one more corner, finally turning into the residential parts of the city, spotting the school instantly as they passed it.

"There's the new school!" Feli cheered, pointing to the large two-story school. It was a large structure made of brick and concrete, surrounded almost completely by green courtyards and greenery. Trees high and low draped over the sidewalks and main parts of the courtyards, making look like a perfect place to relax. Ludwig gave it a sideways glance and smiled. He slowly turned up the radio, the station blasting Macklemore's 'Can't Hold Us'. Both boys found themselves rocking out to the song as they pulled out to a simple two-story home, with a wide front yard and heavy dark wood decorating the home.

"We're here!" Ludwig cheered. He finally shut the car off, the peppy song snapping off. Feliciano jumped out of the convertible car, jumping around the driveway like it was Christmas. He was free with from the torment.

"Bruder, Großvater!" Ludwig yelled at the open windows of the second floor. Something white whizzed past the windows, quick German following him. He smiled as he unlocked the trunk, and started to pile Feli's stuff out.

"Come help then, Feli"

Feliciano ceased his celebration and went to help Germany, pulling a suitcase out and setting it next to the few others already sitting on the ground. As he helped Ludwig close the trunk, two more people had emerged to meet them, standing in front of the car and smirking at the duo. Ludwig instantly flushed red.

The two were far from identical. The younger of the two was pretty tall, though not as tall as Ludwig. He was an albino, complete with hair-platinum blonde hair and blood red eyes. His smirk grew and a laugh passed through his lips, sounding like 'kesesesese'. It was odd for Feliciano but the albino had a sort of air to him that said he was alright. The other figure looked familiar to Feli, and he realized why very quickly.

He was the man from the picture that he took, still tucked in the car. He could make it out barely in the seat, and seeing the background, and looking at the man, he was like instant family.

Long blonde hair, with that familiar braid on one side, blowing in the wind. Sharp blue eyes like Ludwig, deep yet reflected a few emotions. He didn't look like a grandfather, still looking rather good in his opinion. Wearing snug green camo pants, grey tank top and the familiar Iron necklace, he reminded him so much of Ludwig. The two met eyes and the tall man's eyes widened. He then redirected his attention to Ludwig.

"So this is Feliciano…." The man said. Ludwig nodded, still flushed. The albino's laughing ceased and silenced, then slowly walked up to Feli.

"He's cute! Where in the hell did ya find him, huh?" he asked, pinching Feli's cheek. Feli winced, trying to pull away, but was saved when Ludwig stepped forward and growled at him, making him back away with his hands up.

"Relax your hormones, bruder…"

"Relax yours, Gilbert…" Ludwig growled. "He's from our old town; his story's a bit hard to explain…." Ludwig's voice dropped, and Feli then flushed. The familiar blonde man walked up slowly, leaning on the car.

"Basics?" he asked, his slight baritone voice carrying concern.

"He saved me from suicide" Feli said firmly, keeping his head down. Gilbert's head snapped to Feli, then to Ludwig, then to the older blonde.

"Arminius…." Gilbert whispered to him. Feliciano shuffled on his feet awkwardly, trying to push away the embarrassment rising to his chest and face. He curled up around himself again, trying to disappear. Two different sets of hands were on his back, one more calloused than the other. Arminius spoke softly, and Feli straightened up, catching both his and Ludwig's softening eyes.

"I'm glad Ludwig saved you then. Did….did Romulus have anything to do with it?" Arminius said, trying to see if the question was right to ask. Feli let out a shaky breath.

"Yes…Nonno did…" Feli said weakly. Gilbert then was grabbing the bags set out of the back and bringing them inside, giving a sad smile to him as he passed them.

"Then it's settled," Arminius said, leading them onward, "you'll stay here. Romulus does not need to do any more damage. You're always welcome here, like always"

Feliciano finally found the connection in his past, and jumped Arminius into a hug, whispering many thanks for this. Arminius chuckled back a 'you're welcome' before getting Feli to let go of him. He addressed Ludwig, who looked confused. Arminius whispered something to Ludwig, and the younger German shook off the confusion.

"Come on then, Feli. Time to get acquainted to the Beilschmidt way of life" Ludwig announced, tugging his sleeve cuff. Feli detached from the soft flood of memories from long ago and followed Ludwig inside, leaving the others to take in his stuff. He was shaking, trying to fight the urge to run, for some reason. He felt Ludwig's hand curl around his, and the rush of blood to his face seemed hotter than usual.

It was getting quite clearer to Feliciano that maybe he wasn't the only gay in the family.

* * *

**_A Few Days Later…._**

"Feliciano, you ready?"

Feli called out yes, and shoved the last part of his binder into his backpack. He checked the contents once more, making sure he had everything he needed for his first day back into the public school system. His sketchbook and drawing materials were snug in there, his binders for his classes too. His schedule was folded messily in his pocket. He also had a picture of Ludwig, and a quote to remind him of his past; he knew it hurt, but it would remind him never to dive so far.

He zippered it closed, and tugged it onto his back, adjusting the straps as he opened his new room door. He let a smile hit his face as he raced down the hallway, mounting the side rail of the stairs leading down and slid.

Ever since his arrival four days ago, things have settled into a rhythm that Feli was so happy to be in. Gilbert was nice and kind, showing him the ropes of what to do in the house (which were contradicted by Ludwig when he became self-absorbed about stuff). Arminius, who he usually calls now 'nonno' by a force of habit, had gotten him settled in partly, and got him all ready and set in the new town and school. He even learned a bit about Arminius and his own grandfather's relations, even though they were crappy at best right now. That was a conversation saved for life.

Ludwig, well Ludwig…it was like a dream. He helped him set up his room, and get everything packed and settled. He made sure he knew the town well. He showed him around the large downtown, keeping his hand hovering near his as he pointed out shops that he may like and places they could meet afterschool if they didn't see each other afterward. They even walked into the gelato store, ordering some to go. It was like a date, and it even seemed like they both flirted. Ludwig wiped a speck of red gelato stuck to his cheek, keeping his thumb hovering over the spot for longer than expected. Ludwig coughed lightly as he pulled away, not making any eye contact for a while with him. It wasn't until they were halfway back home, when Italy had fully finished his large gelato, that Germany pulled a big move. Italy hadn't noticed the new spot of gelato on his face, but it must have been painfully obvious to Ludwig…

Because he licked it off his face, and nearly sprinted back into their shared home.

Feliciano stopped in front of their door that day, rubbing the little spot now slightly wet. He couldn't keep his heart form pounding out of his chest. He was left that day with such knotted feelings.

He let out a soft breath as he landed on the first floor with a heavy thud. The occupants of the kitchen watched as Feli bounced lightly into it. Gilbert was already waiting there, setting a bowl of bird seed for his friendly yellow bird by the name of 'Gilbird'. He reminded Feli of a Peep, and each time he saw the little yellow puff he got a craving for Peeps,

"Mornin' Feli!" Gilbert yelled, holding up a piece of buttered toast. Feli took it with a smile, and chomped down on it. It tasted lightly burnt, giving it an even more satisfying crunch. He moaned as he took another bite, savoring the taste.

"Score one for the Gil!" he cheered, spinning around with his own piece. The door of the fridge closed behind Gilbert, revealing Ludwig chugging a glass of milk. He set the glass down with a satisfied sound, sporting a bit of a milk moustache.

"Ciao Luddy" Feliciano said between bites, wiping a line of crumbs on his face. Ludwig meekly said hi and wiped his milk facial hair away, picking up a piece of toast, holding it with his teeth and rushed out, backpack tossed haphazardly on one shoulder.

"Come on Feli," Ludwig said, muffled through the toast, "We'll be late!"

"Crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!" Feli yelled, grabbing one more piece from Gilbert's hand and running to catch up with Ludwig. He caught sight of Arminius as he ran out of the front door.

"Bye nonno, we're leaving!" he called out, rocketing down their driveway, keeping sight of Ludwig's…of his backside as he tried to catch up. Eventually Ludwig slowed his pace, making Feli who was running hard slam into him, knocking both down in a flurry of flailing limbs and flying bits of toast. Feli numbly looked up, and blushed beat red.

They were splayed out on the sidewalk, Feli lying out on top of Ludwig, looking like they were…well, you can envision it. Feli tried to get off, only to find Ludwig's arm curled on top of him. Ludwig's blue eyes met his before they snapped wide open, blush covering every inch of his face. He covered his face the best he could with one hand, trying to get himself together to speak.

"C-can you…get off me?" he asked softly, trying to shuffle Feli away from his lap. Feli nodded softly and shimmied off of him, landing on his butt softly. Ludwig scooted backward, standing up immediately, dusting his knees. He picked up his abandoned toast and Feli's fallen piece. He tossed them into the nearby gutter and offered a hand to help Feli up.

"Thanks" Feli said, taking the hand and letting himself get pulled up. He blushed hard as he stood awkwardly next to Ludwig, who wasn't faring any better.

They walked to school in silence, blushes seeming to stick on their faces permanently. Ludwig tried to sneak a look at Feli, only to be caught. He returned his eyes to the front, and let out a long breath. The rest of the walk was seemingly forever, but the ending was worth it.

Ludwig's hand brushed his own as they entered school and went separate ways. At least Feli had something to look forward to after school.

* * *

Feli set his phone on the coffee table in front of him, leaning heavily on one elbow. He had wondered into the town student lounge, 'Hetalia', after school to wait for Ludwig as he had work to catch up on since he was gone for a while in the old town. He peered at his phone clock once more, seeing that only a minute had passed. He didn't why he was growing anxious but he was. He nibbled at his soft pastry he had to the side and nodded off, daydreaming of when Ludwig would walk in, and finally understood his feelings, and slowly but surely closes the distance between him and himself. The feel of his breath on his face, and then the feel of his lips…

"Feli, are you there?" a hand waved in front of him. Feli's daydream shattered and he met the awaiting eyes of Ludwig, who stood next to the table with an orange colored smoothie. He looked at Feli with a smile, and sat across from him as he made sure he really was awake. Feli finally let a gasp leave his lips as he really saw that Ludwig was seated across from him, sipping at his smoothie.

"H-Hi Luddy" Feli said, another blush rising to his cheeks. The morning's fiasco remained fresh in his mind. Ludwig flushed a bit as well.

The lounge was settling into the norm, students and wanderers of the café settling in with their drinks and food. Workers of the shop were left only with cleaning, the bartender wiping down glasses absently. Ludwig looked at him softly, as if he were observing something beautiful. Feli continued to flush red, looking down and taking careful bites of his pastry.

As Feli lifted his head up and set down his food, Ludwig, shot upward in his seat, crossed over the table and planted a soft, hovering kiss on Feli's lips.

Everything froze for them both. Feli stared wide-eyed at him for a moment's notice before letting his eyes flutter shut, pressing his lips closer to Ludwig's. Ludwig tasted faintly like oranges. It lasted for only a moment and ended too soon, both parties pulling away and staring into each other's eyes. Tears built up in Feli's eyes, drawing concern into Ludwig's.

"Feliciano?"

Feli only shook his head, tossing the tears away. He grew ever closer, letting his lips hover inches away from his.

"I'm just happy that you really do like me like that Luddy. I'm just happy…." Feli said softly, and pressed a kiss to Ludwig's readied lips. A hand curled around his cheek, pulling them closer to each other with each kiss repeated.

The attempted suicide flashed quickly to Feli's mind. He knew now that if he had pulled it, he would have never found out his best friend was facing everything he had for being gay. He smiled into the kiss.

Thank goodness for this man.


	3. Iodine

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'Iodine' by Icon for Hire-**_

* * *

It was like the entire cafe was approving of them. Everyone was congratulating and celebrating their new relationship. People stopped everything and clapped for them. Ludwig hadn't known it would be so big of a revelation, but was fighting an arising fluster. He was starting to turn red, while a few people whistled at Feli to do something. Feli was glad to anyway. He rose to his tip toes and pecked Ludwig's cheek, making a blush rise on both of their faces. The cafe burst into hoots and hollers, some people egging them to go farther. Before they could, however, Ludwig pulled Feli out of there before it could get too rowdy. Feli shouted at the inhabitants as they left, and they cheered for his happiness.

They decided after their official hook-up that they would hide it from Ludwig's family for a bit, to see if they suspect anything between the two of them. They walked back up to the house nice and silent, walking hand in hand and pointing out pointless things as they strolled leisurely. Feli did not let the smile on his face slide off. For once, he was happy, just plain ecstatic that things have turned for the better finally. He giggled as he leaned onto Ludwig, who smiled with a blush at him, and lowered his own to rest on his. They tightened their fingers, intertwining them better.

It was a day made from heaven. As they neared their house, they untangled from each other, trying to look inconspicuous to their family. As they filed in one by one, Gilbert looked up from his open textbook, pencil wedged between his teeth. He looked at them both oddly, tilting his head, and then shrugged. He continued his homework, groaning as he pulled out his math. Ludwig and Feli exchanged quick looks and disappeared upstairs, large smiles plastered to their faces.

Gilbert watched them quietly separate to their rooms from the first floor, leaning on the foyer archway, pencil twirling around in his hand. He had his interests peaked when they disappeared so fast. He looked over to find Arminius doing the same thing, a smirk dusting his face. They locked eyes, and a shutter of an idea seemed to pass over them both.

Their smiles grew as they met in the middle.

* * *

School got in the way of the building of their relationship, but they were able to maneuver around the annoying blockage. When they could inside school, they'd meet up, go somewhere secluded, or in within close friend range, and just cuddle or just enjoy each other's company. Of course they'd share a bit of time together joined at the lips, when teachers or students weren't watching. They were even approved of by several students.

Antonio and Francis, friends of Gilbert and members of the Bad Friends Trio, caught them sharing a kiss inside one of the shaded terraces in the courtyard. It nearly gave the boys a heart attack when Francis shouted out in French to them 'can you feel the love?'

They promised, after taking and keeping a few candid photos before they were discovered, that they wouldn't tell Gilbert, but allowed them to tell trusted friends with hopefully no connections with Gilbert, since it seemed that albino had connections everywhere and with everyone all at once. The double duos shared some time, just talking about how this whole relationship started, and completely forgetting about school and its troubles. No one came and disturbed them, or called them names, or tried to hurt them. It was peace, a peace Feli hadn't seen in a year.

When he broke into tears suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere, the boys surrounding him tried to soothe him, Ludwig glued to his side.

"It's just that I never knew what I was missing. Peace just feels good" he simply said to them.

"No more bullying here, Feli" Ludwig said softly, plating a kiss in his hair, "No more…"

After Feli finally calmed down, and actually fell asleep, Antonio and Francis bid them adieu and let them be. Ludwig slowly lifted Feli up into a bridal carry, and snuck off of school grounds, heading toward home slowly. Feliciano woke a few minutes later, roused by his boyfriend's rapidly flexing shoulder underneath his cheek. He hummed in approval of the position, and tried to sink back into the lull of sleep. Ludwig had other ideas and let Feli stand of his feet, and both walked slowly back home, trying to kill time and let school let out.

Well, it was a bit pointless, so they stopped and turned around, and headed into town to visit the Hetalia café again. When they entered, a chorus of welcomes hit them, but Feliciano wasn't focusing on the welcome cry but the background cry of surprise.

By pure coincidence, Elizabeta and Roderich were sitting near the back of the café, Eliza nearly in tears as she locked eyes with him and Ludwig. Feli tugged Ludwig's sleeve, drawing his attention away from the counters. He pointed toward the duo in the back. Ludwig said it would be best to wait to talk to them, after they ordered.

They waited for their orders, and when they were finished, they slowly made their way to Elizabeta and Roderich. The Hungarian girl stood up quickly, and Feli barely had time to hand Luddy his drink before she enveloped him in a hug, tears drifting down her face once more.

"Feli! Thank god, you're ok! I thought…just you disappeared and…" Elizabeta didn't finish, but turned to Ludwig, keeping one hand around Feli and the other pointing at the German.

"And you! You did too! We all thought you died, that you really did…." A morbid silence drew around them as Eliza let the sentence drop. Even Roderich, who looked like he could burst out crying, tried to shuffle in his seat to get away from the sudden doom and gloom. Finally Ludwig let out a sigh and shuffled into the booth that Roderich sat in. The air seemed to clear a bit, and they could finally just talk.

"It's been a bit now Feli…" Roderich prompted. "Why not head back home, to your grandfather?"

"Because he's an asshole, my brothers as well, and I rather keep my face and body unbruised and unbullied for once in my fucking life" Feli snapped quickly at him, everyone staring him. He'd never used that much coarse language in…never. He never cursed like that. He kept his eyes trained downward, face flushing red in embarrassment and guilt for snapping like that. Elizabeta scolded Roderich for bring 'that' up so early and Ludwig just ran a hand up and down Feli's back.

"Sorry Roderich, it's just….they were a reason why I was going to do it. They contributed to the torture for being what I am" Feli said softly, tears building in his eyes. Eliza, who could do this anywhere, immediately grabbed hold of the Italian's head and smooshed it to her chest, shushing and smothering his words to a mute.

"No need to Feli, no need. We shouldn't bring it up anyway" she said, petting his hair. Both boys stared at each other as she continued, until Feli pointed at her chest with an unpinned arm.

"You're boobs are suffocating me, Lizzy"

"Oh! Sorry" Eliza released Feli, who slumped back into his spot and shoved his bought pastry into his mouth, trying to change the taste tingeing it. Ludwig let a laugh and Roderich chuckled under a curled hand. A skillet rose up from the table pointing at the Peanut Gallery back and forth. They were quieted.

They jumped back into conversation, the subject of the old friend's presence the first subject to start. Roderich claimed that he came here from time to time just to enjoy to delicious cake they served, though Elizabeta gave them both the 'look' and Ludwig launched in excitedly.

"Who then?"

That stopped Roderich dead. Feli let out a chopped laugh, covering his mouth before crumbs launched out. Elizabeta chuckled until she curled up near the window to her right, going red in the face. Roderich's face was twice as red as hers. He shouted out innocence, but Feli let out a short snort, and Roderich snapped.

"I'm not here to see anyone, alright? Why would I, honestly?" he claimed, slamming his hands down on the table. He eyed the door quickly, hoping on one would notice, though by the way Ludwig raised an eyebrow at him he had failed. He fell onto his face with a groan, going beat red. Elizabeta let out a loud laugh, rising from her curled position.

"Ohh…oh my god, if we could only know" she said between chuckles, clutching her stomach.

Right then, the café speakers started up another song, 'Candyman' by Christina Aguilera, and Gilbert walked in all proudly. Roderich's head shot upward, and eyes locked on to the albino looking around the shop.

To say everyone was astounded is yet another big understatement. Feli was the most astounded by far, seeing that one of his friends was sharing in his sexual views, maybe, again. Quickly, without thinking, Feli sank down behind the seat, tugging Ludwig with him.

"What are you doing, I can't see his face" Ludwig hissed. Feli tried to look over his shoulder.

"If we're seen like this, Gilbert would know we're dating!" Feli hissed back. Ludwig sank back into silence, but peaked over the seat like a child spying on their parents, fingers curled over top and eyes peaking. Elizabeta whispered, 'go, go' to Roderich, who continued to stare and blush silently, shooing him to the side of his seat. Roderich let out a large huff of air and stood up proudly, making his way toward Gilbert.

Feli joined Ludwig in peaking over, seeing the joy in Gilbert's eyes as he caught sight of Roderich making his way through the sudden crowd of students from school. They didn't need to see anymore when Gil's face lit up. Ludwig and Feli smiled at each other, Elizabeta oblivious to the fact that they had their phones out, snapping a few pictures.

Well, she did when she saw the glint of metal. She joined in quickly with her own camera.

* * *

They waited until the new duo left with food in hand, while it looked like Gilbert was trying to hold the other free hand of Roderich. Elizabeta was slowly sneaking in her blackmail-ridden camera into her bag and chomping down on a frosted donut. Feli and Ludwig could finally bail. They said goodbye to Elizabeta, who hugged the crap out of Feli, and stepped out into the cool afternoon air.

The walk back up to their house was pleasant, just Ludwig and Feli contemplating when they would tell their family. Gilbert hopefully didn't see them in Hetalia, so they were hopefully still hidden to the fact. Plus now they had blackmail for Gilbert to see! When they could see their front door, they finally agreed that they would reveal it today. They opened the front door carefully and piled their backpacks near the door for the moment. Gil and Arminius were chatting in the dining room.

They announced the news to Gilbert and Arminius. Gilbert at first looked to his grandfather and held out his hand. A crisp ten dollar bill was set into the awaiting appendage, Arminius grumbling about the waste of money. The new couple looked at them quizzically.

"The old man and I took a bet to see if you were gay, bruder. Also on how long it would take for you and Feli to hook up, but mostly the first" Gilbert explained, watching with a bemused look as Ludwig blushed to his ears. Even Arminius chuckled lightly, smiling as his grandson grew flustered.

"Weeeeell Gilbert…" Feli sang, stepping forward. Ludwig hissed a 'what are you doing' under his breath. Feli simply said he knew what he was doing. He raised his phone and shook it playfully at him.

"What were you doing at the Hetalia café after school?" Feli asked innocently. Gilbert let a blush flash to his face, and he tried to hide it under his hand. Arminius pulled it away and up in the air, a bemused look on his face.

"N-nothing, nothing at all! Just getting something to eat!" Gilbert claimed. Feli smirked and turned his phone on, and showed him a picture on the screen.

It was him and Roderich smiling and blushing at each other.

"Ohh!" Arminius chocked out, starting to laugh. He dropped Gilbert's arm like a ragdoll, the appendage slamming into the table. Gilbert's face turned bright red, his other hand snatching for the phone to delete the picture. Feli swooped out of the way, standing next to Ludwig, who also took out his phone and waved it at him.

Gilbert stared at them wide-eyed. They had him done for.

"We were there when Roderich was waiting for you" Ludwig said, smiling and pulling up a picture of just Roderich blushing across from him. Feli looked at it funny too; he hadn't remembered Ludwig pulling out his phone to take that picture. Gilbert finally gave up, trying to cover his face as it went bright scarlet. Gentle, playful laughter filled the room, and everything was calm and fun.

Until the doorbell rang twice, drawing Arminius to his feet with a small scowl. The three boys clustered at the foyer archway as Arminius drew closer to the door. As he turned the knob to open it, Feli went into the depths of the kitchen, suddenly thirsty from the day's events. As the door opened, and the shouting began, Ludwig stood frozen in fear and disbelief, and Feliciano didn't even know. Feli withdrew from the fridge and walked out into the view of the door, he froze up as well, just dead where he stood. The bottle dropped with a splash of water on his feet and legs.

Romulus, Lovino, and Sebastian stood the doorway, Lovino shouting in Italian now at him.

* * *

His heart froze up and began to crack and break. He could feel it thump hard and piercing in his chest, the feel of it stabbing him over and over again. They were here, and they would take him back.

After the initial shock of their arrival, the shouting and fighting and arguments began. It ran through the entire house, and shook it. Arminius and Romulus got into it badly, Gilbert trying to back him up but to end up backing Ludwig up. Ludwig and Lovino were hard into it as well, fighting for Feliciano and his freedom. Sebastian was trying to draw Lovino back, but only ended up slapped to the ground. Feliciano escaped upstairs, trying to block out the fighting. He hated everything now. They were going to take him away.

Now he watched painfully as all his things were thrown into his suitcases and bags, and shoved back into the Vargas family car to be brought back home. Arminius lost the fight, and now he was forced to go back home, back into hell with immobile high flames. He let tears fall silently, but not a sound came from him. Lovino scowled as he dragged one suitcase, keeping a death stare pinned to Ludwig, who stood a few feet from him.

It didn't seem real; nothing seemed real or alive anymore. He had brought out of the dark, out of hell for once in his life, and now God was abandoning him once more, giving the devil free game on him. He sniffled once, and got Sebastian's attention as he kept the door open. He gave him a sad look only, and returned his eyes to outside. Arminius stood in the kitchen with a lightly sobbing Gilbert; both were crushed that he was leaving. He felt the same way, so badly he felt the same way. Ludwig shuffled on his feet.

"This is the last of it nonno!" Lovino called as he tugged the last case, a piece of paper stick out of one end. Feli sucked in air, trying to relax his flipping stomach. He didn't want to leave his spot, he didn't want to leave his new family, and he certainly didn't want to leave his best friend and boyfriend. His family waited patiently outside from a distance, watching him. He hoped they would be disgusted when he said goodbye. He turned to Ludwig, and quickly was enveloped into a tight hug, Ludwig's lips and breath painting his hair.

"I don't want to go" Feli whimpered into his shirt, fresh tears unceremoniously falling down. Ludwig titled his face up to meet his, and kissed him. He let this lips linger over his, drawing him closer.

"I know. I don't want you to either, but…." A tear fell down his face, his cheeks turning red. Feli let out a sorrowful gasp. He never thought it would hurt like this. He slowly pulled away but not before he kissed him with all he had. He could barely hear a gagging sound from his family, but ignored it completely. He then went over to Arminius and Gilbert, and let them crowd around him in a group hug. Gilbert cried out his goodbye, while Arminius slipped a piece of paper into his pocket. He said goodbye with tears building, and let him go. Feli waved goodbye once more, and snatched his backpack from the ground. He walked out with his head down, looking like a dog with his tail between his legs.

"Come on, fratello. Time to head home…." Lovino said softly, opening the backseat car door. Feli looked quickly at Romulus, his original nonno, but only saw hate and disappointment on his face. He looked back once more, seeing Ludwig's face decorated by three tears, and sat in the car, pulling the door closed.

"I'm just glad we have you back, Feli" Sebastian said with a smile; a rather fake-looking smile. Romulus looked at Sebby with his own smile, but then looked back at Feli and scowled in disgust. His usual special heirloom rosary hung in plain view, and his nonno's hand automatically wrapped around it. He could feel the disgust surround him from all sides. Lovino and Romulus, his own family, still hated him with all they had, because he broke Roman Catholic faith. He kept his eyes down, and kept an image of Ludwig in his mind. He picked at the piece of paper from Arminius, unsure if he should read it now. He decided he would wait.

The car pulled away with a heavy screech from lagging tires. They rocketed away from Feli's real home, and the city he came to love, and his only way to freedom. It wasn't until they got close to the bridge that he looked back once more. This is where the line is drawn, the line he wouldn't dare cross again if he wanted to continue his already shrinking life.

When they watched the Italians leave, tensions ran high and sensitive. Ludwig all but lost it when they crossed over their horizon, breaking almost every self-restraining hold he had on his emotions. He screamed out in sorrow and hate, rushing upstairs with his family calling out. Tears flew and followed him as he locked himself in his room, sobbing grossly behind his door. The sound ripped Arminius to pieces, and Gilbert almost joined in with him, but barely held them back as they started to pound on the door. Arminius and Gilbert continued pounding on the door relentlessly, trying to get him out.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Ludwig shouted between sobs, and left the matter at that. The remaining family backed away and left Ludwig to his devices. Gilbert couldn't hold it. He sobbed into the side of Arminius as they sat on the top of their steps. Arminius slowly let his own cold shield crack a bit, and silent tears slid down his face. Gilbert sobbed into his shoulder, grabbing his arm. His grandfather tried to ruffle his hair, his sign of reassurance. They both just sat there, listening to the sudden silence and Ludwig's unbottled rage and sobbing.

Why was fate so cruel to them, and so cruel to Feli?


	4. If Anyone Gave Me A Reason- Side Feli

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'If Everyone Cared' by Nickelback and 'Just Give Me a Reason' by P!nk-**_

* * *

They were home faster than he thought. Romulus jumped out immediately, opening the back trunk to start piling all of Feli's stuff inside. Feli stayed in the leather-bound seat he was given, just watching as his few suitcases and belongings were taken inside the house. As Sebastian grabbed the last one and went inside, Feli finally got out, eyes downcast. He slammed the trunk closed and took the keys still from the ignition with him as he went inside reluctantly.

They had redone a lot of the house, the home now giving off an ancient and powerful feel. Red silk and gold decorated furniture decorated almost every corner of the first floor. The archway that opened into the living room and dining table was decorated by elaborate paintings of red and gold scroll and curl work. The entire place felt like Ancient Rome, where those with power and money held the look of the Gods. Feli knew though it was home to one God, and he seemed to love to play with his heart and life very much.

"Divine Intervention, my ass…" he mumbled under a long breath. Romulus came down the stairs to his left, and he met with eyes full of puzzlement. Romulus let his hatred leave his eyes for a bit and the amber-brown eyes softened at him.

"I…I just thought it would be an amazing surprise to have everything like the ancient times" Romulus explained, running a hand through a hanging red silk drape. "Plus we needed a fresh start, with you back"

Feli bit on his tongue. His grandfather was being nice, but something in his voice….something was off. Feli let a heavy breath out and finally spoke up.

"It's definitely a statement, nonno. It suits you" A smile somehow graced his face. Romulus seemed to be taken aback for a moment, but got it back together, his eyes hardening a bit. He took hold of Feli's shoulder, squeezing it lightly. He could feel his grandson shiver under the touch; a sign of being scared.

"I don't completely hate you, my bambino. It's just been hard to accept such things…" Romulus let a sudden shiver travel down his spine, shaking him as he tried to speak words that hurt him. Feli looked worried at him, raising his head from its downcast spot.

"I just hope you understand that I don't hate your guts enough to hurt you. I…it never dawned on me before, but after we found that you weren't here..." he didn't finish, and he probably wouldn't ever. He let him go sharply, shoving him back a bit. The coldness grew over his eyes once more and he disappeared up to his room. Feli tried his best to keep his breath steady as he went up himself, letting the sudden coldness climb over him. He thought that for once his nonno would understand, but he knew, he always knew, that he would hate him for being a homosexual, even if he claimed to not hate him. He would lie and lie to get any way to stab at him about his sexuality, like any other person in this damn town who was homophobic.

He was already at his door, his bags piled in front of it. Maybe they wanted him to unpack himself? He didn't care really, his entire frame shaking as his fingers barely brushed over the bronze knob. He wanted to just crash on the couch and face any rage from his family than step into his room, the room that was to be his death-bed. He clawed it for a moment, and wrapped his hand around it, watching it shake with him. His breathing was uneven, sporadic. He took a steadying breath and turned it open, and freezing in the threshold.

It was untouched. The case was still sitting on the bed, the note still waiting to be opened and read. Not even a single shred of anything was touched or messed with. They never went up here to check! Were they that disgusted with him and his ways? He wouldn't know, but he slammed his door shut and raged, throwing the gun case into the depths of his closet and chucking everything to the ground. He nearly stomped out his Iron Cross when he finally gained control and slammed down onto his knees sobbing at the lost hope that they really did know of his thought suicide.

Through the red haze in his head, and through the tears, he grabbed for the note in his pocket. He slowly unfolded it and read it to himself.

_"Don't give in. If Romulus hurts you, just call us. We won't hesitate to get you back"_

He crumpled up the note again and tossed it somewhere in the destruction zone of his room. It was nice of Arminius to offer, but it was not necessary at all.

He felt the room hum as the AC turned on. He pondered pointlessly if it could make hell freeze over enough for him to slip out.

* * *

It took him a bit to reorganize everything and fix a few shattered things from his fit but it ended up nice, or at least as nice as he could make it without making him vomit. The room was pretty orderly; all his clothes now out of their cases and hanging up in his closet, some in his drawers. His now empty suitcases packed away in his storage closet. His backpack lay near the door, shadowing his hidey-hole. The gun was still hidden in his closet, and it would stay there. He promised himself he wouldn't do it again. He would not leave this world now, not without Ludwig joining him. He didn't want to be alone in the darkness he knew would greet him.

He however sat with his knees pressed to his chest, staring out his open bay windows next to his bed. He could see the school again, the horrible school he would again attend for the time being. He knew how the system worked here; he would go for a few days and then he could skip out when he needed to. Simple and easy.

He honestly didn't want to go at all, in fear of being bullied into complete submission. He was also worried of other horrible things that could happen. On one random weekend at Ludwig's, he looked up other ways of bullying just to stay up-to-date for when he was chased down again. Apparently, some sort of sexual abuse including rape was getting worse and rising. He could easily be sexually taken advantage of, or raped and then…

STOP.

He shook his head, tears dripping down, and curled it into his chest. He hated when his mind got ahead of itself. He looked up again at the darkened school, the sun barely peaking over its high walls.

Why he was up at four in the morning, he did not know himself. He couldn't sleep; he was getting into the habit of having night terrors again, and not a single person had bullied him yet. The night terror had Ludwig in it, but it all ended in blood and tears and a burial. A burial no one came to, besides himself. Horrible, terrible and nightmarish. He shook his head again, banishing the remembrance of that horrible dream; it was enough that he had them.

His phone, which lay on his pillow, vibrated. He looked at it for a moment. How and why would someone text him this early in the morning? He only ever gave his cell number if he knew they were trustworthy, and even then he made them swear that they would never give it out in fear that he would be bombarded by hate-texts. He slowly picked up the phone, the phone telling him he had received a text message. The number was one he did not know, and that told him all he needed to know. He wanted to drop it, destroy it, just so he could secure his safety. He however knew that if he didn't look at it, the screen would stay that way. He clicked 'open'.

Fourteen new messages, all piled in different colors; fourteen unknowns that had his number.

'_How are you not dead yet, faggot?'_

'_You should of died your nothing homo'_

'_shoud be in the ground, not spittign rainbows'_

'_hey faggot, u dead? I'll make you feel dead if ur not'_

'_Dare ya to come to locker 1219 next clss. I'll finish the job'_

'_yo ho, homo boy! You dead? We all hope so!'_

'_faggots, faggots, they all kill themselves! I'm singin it in school'_

'_PLEASE SAY YOUR IN THE GROUND!'_

He tossed the phone to the closest wall, bursting into tears. The phone didn't break; it probably didn't even crack. Why would someone give out his number? He felt like tearing his room to pieces just for how much he hated everyone. They all thought he was dead? But, how…

"_You did too! We all thought you died, that you really did…." Elizabeta said._

They thought he was dead because he was gone that long? Did his family ever come out or show up when he was gone? They probably were gone for a while, and then finally noticed nothing of him here. It still disturbed him that they never went to his room. His mind went straight back to the texts. They hated him, and even in almost death, they hated him and made fun of him. They still thought there was something to destroy, to demoralize here.

He went over and picked up his phone. There was still text messages left to read. He let the tears fall and opened his inbox again, and read the rest. He let out a strangled cry as he read them.

'_Yo dick sucker! You there? They better now of given me a fake now…'_

'_So you finally sucked the big one, literally! Ha, you faggot'_

'_homo you did what you did. I hope there are men up there waiting for ya, disgusting man'_

'_dead or sucking some right nao? I bet both, you_

'_Find any hot ass to screw in heaven, gay-lord?'_

'_seriously, you gay and now ur dead. Good luck in hell'_

He simply brushed his fingers over the screen, a few tears falling onto it. He kept his mouth shut via a hand, trying to not let his family know of his woes. They would just bash him for letting others have his number. He shuddered, trying to push away the knife-like stabbing feeling in his chest and head. It hurt badly, like the feel of a blade, something with a sharp edge.

A sharp edge, the razor, the feel of pain, the sight of blood dripping down his fingers…

"No, no, no, no, no…" he repeated, trying to keep himself from grabbing the razor from his right drawer corner and cutting into his arms again. He looked at his wrist, which was press up to his face, and traced the row of scars with his eyes, then tracing them with his fingers. They were his story, his narrative, of the times he needed to let it go. The pain was his friend for a long time, because it kept his mind off of everything. He still had it. He looked over to the drawer, and just as the sun rose enough to shine its light, the metal friend glinted to show its current home.

Feli wanted to grab it, to let it meet the old friend he probably missed badly. His phone interrupted him though. Another text had come through. He growled to the phone, and went to through it but caught sight of the ID.

It was Ludwig.

He tapped 'open' and nearly yelled out his sorrows to his home, to the homophobic world rotating against him.

_'How are you holding up?'_

Feli looked over to the bay windows, then to his phone's clock. It was already six o'clock. How did it take two hours to cry and be hated upon? Maybe because the world will drain you of every hour you have left until you do end it forcefully. He quickly texted back, and then set out to find something to wear that wouldn't give any physical bullies any advantage.

_'It's already begun. Just make it end now. Why do they do this to us?'_

* * *

He barely had made it outside, behind Lovino and Sebastian, when his phone started to go off with text messages. He ignored them as best he could, trying to get the heat from people staring to go away. He kept his hood up, his eyes down, and let the whispers surround him without a single hit.

"Oi look boys! Faggot boy is back!"

The usual gang of boys who beat him up were lined up in front of the school doors, smirks as big as their inflated egos. They were the fake gangs you would see trying to live up to the Los Angeles gang violence. They were complete flakes, but they were the high rollers here, known for their violence and anti-gay motions. Feli stopped before he reached them. Their leader, a nameless asshole who normally wielded a knife under his dumb leather jacket, stepped up and poked at him without a care.

"Heeey there! We thought you kicked the bucket, and went to suck the dick in the sky" he said in a baby voice, twirling his finger into his hooded face. A crowd was beginning to form around them. The nameless asshole flipped off the hood, and let his smirk grow.

"Having fun lately? How's the inbox going? I hope you enjoyed the presents" he said with snide feeling, his friends laughing. Feli's hand reflexed, curling into a fist. The thug noticed and let out a laugh, gesturing out into the crowd. Feli could see Elizabeta and Roderich in the midst of the crowd, looks of terror painted on their normally smiling faces.

"This little faggot thinks he's so tough! Look at him hiding and shaking like a fucking bitch in heat" he turned back to Feliciano and shoved his face nice and tight to his, whispering.

"So how 'bout it bitch? You horny enough to fuck with me?"

"Yes"

His fist hit its target, sending the boy hard onto his ass, clutching his nose and screaming like a baby. Blood dripped and dribbled down his face, his eyes crazed and fueled by liquid anger. He couldn't shout orders to his little subjects but just pointing at him was sufficient enough. The rest of the gang rushed at him, fists and assorted dull weapons armed. The crowd screamed and scattered as the boys grabbed Feli and started to beat the living shit out of him. He couldn't keep account on how many punches hit him, how many weapons slash and slammed into him, and how much blood bubbled from his lips.

"ENOUGH, ENOUGH!" the boys suddenly backed leaving a bloodied, bruised, and cut-open on the pavement, blood splattering some of the gang. Their leader slowly rose from the ground, clutching his nose tight and hearing the bone crunch a bit under the pressure.

Teachers swarmed the front of the school, Mr. Dale and his youngest sibling standing in front. The boys tried to run, but were flanked by the ground security officers and the school police officer. The leader though stood rooted in his spot.

"That fucking faggot hit me first-"

"We've had enough of that shit language, Mr. Leicastor. You're being arrested and tried for gang involvement and assault, along with other charges up to but not excluding drug abuse and dealing, attempted murder and bullying" Mr. Dale said, giving the bleeding gang leader a dead stare. His eyes widened impossibly and he screamed as they were pulled away. Mr. Dale rushed to Feli, who was slowly rising. He was covered almost head to toe with bruises and his forehead was cut open. His palms were split, and blood was spotted all over his chest. Blood slowly dripped out of his nose and mouth, leaving eerie trails of red down his face. As two other teachers flanked him and pulled Feli into the building, some students were following, worried for the poor student. Sebastian was starting to call Romulus to come pick them both up; Lovino had ran inside, to ignore the fighting and his brother's pain and suffering.

Feliciano could only think one thing as they brought him into the nurse's office.

There is no point to fight back anymore.

* * *

"One day, Feliciano…" Romulus scolded him as they brought Feli inside. His forehead had been bandaged up, but blood still decorated the front of it. His face had been bruised a bit, and blood rose darkly to one cheek. If one looked down his shirt, his chest had been bandaged up a bit for the cuts and cruises decorating it.

"I was tired of him trying to be a cool fuck who thought he was the king" Feli mumbled, though he knew that it was pointless. Romulus pushed it aside and sat down on his couch, trying to relax. Feli stood awkwardly near him and just tried to comprehend his nonno's selfish thinking. So, he threw the first punch, but he earned and needed it a long time ago. He was just glad he didn't kill him by pushing the bone into his brain. He was just happy to know he could stand up to them. Romulus looked at Feli, and surveyed him. Then he spoke in a whisper.

"Those boys were arrested right?"

Feliciano nodded coyly.

"For gang involvement, right? Who'd of known..." Romulus returned to his TV, leaving Feliciano to gape at him. Did he not know that another charge was assault, and bullying of a degrading sort? He still refused to believe he or anyone was doing anything wrong to him! He kept back sudden tears from falling and bolted upstairs, barely biting back cries. Lovino nearly barreled into him as he ran for his door. His older brother started to fuss over his wounds until he noticed the feel of the atmosphere around him. He snarled at him and went on his way, giving time for Feli to run into his room, slam and lock the door, and curl up on his bed. The cries came out of him in hiccups and shot streaming from his nose.

No one really cared. Maybe Mr. Dale, but Sebastian had warned them. Sebastian should have never done it. He felt his phone vibrate, and he pulled it out, and looked at the screen. He would have to go through the old hate texts first. So he did, and the tears increased. They were worse as he got to the newest ones. Apparently, friends of the arrested gang members hated his guts even more. He finally got through it all, and found the newest text. It was Ludwig.

_'I'll join you. Why do they do this?'_

Feli felt his heart beat heavily. He curled up into a ball first, then texted him back, keeping an eye on the door.

_'We're both ready then?'_

He waited for a bit. He let his mind wander a bit. He wondered on how Ludwig was fairing. If it really was true, he was facing about the same he was. It didn't seem possible, however. He was to a school that seemed the least likely to be homophobic. He softly moaned under his breath, one of his bruises flaring in pain. He rubbed it gently, trying to calm it down. His phone signaled a reply from Ludwig.

_'I'll see you on the other side'_

Feli smiled sadly. He didn't know why, but it was saddening to see it all go. He stood up from the bed, and went for his dresser. He picked up the clean razor waiting for him and pushed his bathroom door open. He took one look back, and let his last smile cross his face. He closed the door silently.

The razor felt better than ever for him as it sliced into his wrists again and again and again. Blood flowed freely, and beautifully. It made Feli both hiss and smile. He went for the other wrist, this time a bit harder and difficult to cut into. He digressed through the slowly dripping lines of blood, getting the razor to hit and cut with almost every strike down. He hissed as it sliced again and again. This wouldn't be enough, it wouldn't work fast enough. He could make out the beating of his heart in his throat. Was there a vein in his throat?

He found out when he dragged the razor across it, and the dizzy spell hit him like a hurricane. He had found it somehow.

The stinging felt good. He hoped he would see Ludwig in the dark.


	5. If Anyone Gave Me A Reason- Side Ludwig

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'If Everyone Cared' by Nickelback and 'Just Give Me a Reason' by P!nk-**_

* * *

He felt so numb; so dead. Why did it hurt so much to be separated from him? He gripped his forehead and hair roughly and slammed his head back against his door. He hated this so much, he felt angry and sad and depressed and enraged to the point of…of what? There was nothing here to help him through it. He let a gross sob escape him, tears still falling like somewhat graceful ribbons down his reddened face. He had lost his sense of time, so he had no clue how long he sat propped up against his door, letting everything out in the form of tears and fits. He could barely remember if his family had rushed over to get him out. He continued to sob miserably.

Why was he anyway? This would ruin him for life if anyone would find out. He hated showing expressive emotion, like sorrow and extreme happiness. This was just pointless; a pointless use of time, and energy, and precious moments with…

"Stop it, stop it, stop it, he's not here!" he hissed to the room , clawing at his head. The tears came harder again, sobs retching themselves from his throat and pounding hard in his chest. He gripped his midsection, trying to make the pounding and stabbing to stop. It hurt near his heart, just choking him of anything. He hated this so much! It was completely un-fucking-fair! Why did they need him anyway? Did they not see his Feli was rotting when they were near, being homophobic jackasses?

"DAMMIT!" he howled, slamming into his door again. His back was starting to bruise. He hated this so much, he felt so empty. He curled up into himself, trying to calm himself, but only was able to burst into tears once more as Feli appeared in his mind, trying to sooth him. He was hurting him, didn't he understand? He was hurting him by being so far away! It physically hurt to be away from him, he meant that much to him! He was already starting to think about it, a way out from it, because going to him and stealing him away wasn't going to work, and Feli's family hated his guts for being not just gay but for being nice to Feli! For being nice, from keeping him from suicide? Didn't they know he was going to shoot himself in front of them? He just wanted it to all end, just once more. His wrists were burning again.

It burned until he had cried himself to sleep, curled up into a semi-ball near the base of his bed.

Arminius went up one last time to check on his grandsons. Gilbert had made it to bed, although he was pretty sure he had cried himself to sleep. He hated it when his boys cried over anything and now that it was overwhelmingly emotional…it was just horrible. These boys were tough as nail, down-to-earth. They let their minds talk before emotions. When Feli joined them, tragic background and emotion-first attitude, his boys seemed to change overnight. The boy had gone from stranger to a member of the family so quickly, it seemed impossible. He was contagious, and how he bonded with Ludwig…

A smile found its way to Arminius' lips. Even in this sober, depressive state, he found a way to smile. The boy truly was a blessing for them. He opened Gilbert's door delicately, looking into the darkened room. Gil was lying in bed, his blanket wrapped like a cocoon around him. His face was still bright red; trails of wet streets paved their way through Gilbert's dirt dusted cheeks. He probably cried himself to sleep, or maybe he was still crying. Even in the barley-lit moonlight, a tear glistened down the albino's face. He was still crying. Arminius stepped in and wiped away the falling crystal tears and petted his soft hair. He was even affected this badly. He left a butterfly kiss on his forehead and left without a word, closing the door with a soft click. He hoped he would be ok in the morning.

The next place would be Ludwig's. He only worried about a few things as he approached the door. One was that he locked it, and would refuse to do anything for a while. It was already a mess the way he was now, and add to the fact he could refuse to eat or socialize at all could be his end. Another would be that he…

That he couldn't stand it, and took the only thing he could. The thought shot a hole through his heart. Yes, Ludwig has had problems with bullies in the past, but he never approached it that way out. He buffed up, and made sure he could defend himself when they came; that's how he became what he is today. If Ludwig really did commit… He couldn't even bare himself to say the word. It honestly scared him. The word held so much, so much, that he wished the word and practice never existed. He squeezed the doorknob of his youngest grandson's room and twisted it open, careful to not make a sound just in case he was asleep.

His entire face softened as he saw Ludwig sleeping on the floor. He absolutely knew he had cried himself to sleep. The boy looked so fragile and young as he curled up into a ball. He looked like himself, so long ago, when he was bullied to the point of physical and near mental exhaustion, coming home and just fainting or blacking out right on to the floor. He knelt to his level, and brushed his hair away from his face. It was real bright red, tears left unshed built up in the corner of his eyes. His entire face glistened with the dew of shed tears. His hair was thrown from its usual slicked back style, falling around his head in a semi-halo. He looked entirely younger with his bangs down. Arminius turned Ludwig's head toward him, and set him propped up in his lap. It was like his youth, all over again.

"I'm sorry, Ludwig…" he said softly, watching the boy's chest rise and fall. He felt him shiver, and watched him curl tighter up around himself. A sad smile fell to his lips. He slowly undressed him without rousing him, leaving him in pants. With a bit of trouble, he lifted the sleeping German into his arms, princess style. He groaned just a bit as his back argued with him. He set him down lightly, making sure his pillows were underneath his head. With a final tug of his blanket up on to him and watching as he gripped it and tugged it closer, he stepped out, closing the door as he walked down the hall, barely able to keep back the wave of sadness flowing over his shoulders like a twisted cape.

He nearly tripped as he stepped off the stairs, hearing a crack of glass. He looked down, finally collected and calm, and let a muffled gasp escape him.

It was Feli's picture that he brought with him. It was of his family, probably before he admitted his homosexuality, all smiles and joy. It was also the picture with him in the background, and just out of frame or blurred Gilbert, Ludwig, and their close relatives Lili and Basch. It was before….before everything; before they became enemies. A whole life of semi-friendship turned to family war. He even remembered that day clearly. They were meeting up one last time before each of their big moves, at their local camp site. It was fun, and friendly. Romulus asked them to join in the picture, but asked too late when it was taken. He had burned his copy, to let go.

He picked the shattered picture frame up, careful to not cut himself with the glass. He hugged it lightly to his chest, and let his tears slide down the wood frame.

* * *

"_Stop it! Feli, run! STOP IT!"_

_The sight made him sick. It hurt him even as he watched it; he could feel the pierce of the blade as it passed through him, the tip barely poking through his clothing. The blood seemed to pour from them both as they landed on their knees in unison, the man with the knife snickering and laughing, making rude gesture and remarks as he ran like a coward from them._

_His last statement before he left earshot was 'Die already, you faggot!'._

_He roared out, gripping the hole that now seemed to gape from inside him. There were no sirens of police or ambulances, or even the calls of the animals lurking in the night shadows. Just the gurgled, short breathing of his dying love, and his own rushed dangerously fast heartbeat. He could feel it; both his and his own beating so hard and quickly in the air like drums. They were going too fast. He called out for him once more, and was met with scared amber eyes._

"_I'm sorry Luddy. Ti amo' the Italian mouthed, blood dripping from the corners of his mouth. His eyes held so much emotion, and love and loss. They were the gems that would lead him for a million miles and years until he found them again. He would not lose them, to watch them from a painful distance as they fade into black. He tried to crawl toward him, only to have his breath knocked away from him by a heavy boot slamming into his back. He let out a gross-sounding gasp as a voice haunted his ears._

"_He deserves this" It was Lovino. He tried to cry out again, but his lungs screamed at him to stay mute. He watched the eyes he fell in love with shutter close, and the other heartbeat reverberating in the air end, his heart shutting down with him in ugly silence. He was alone._

_Feli had died. He had died in front of him, and he could nothing to bring him back._

"_NOOOOO-_

"-OOOOOOOOOO" he shot out of bed, clutching his chest and his Iron cross. He panted like a man fresh from almost drowning, desperate for cool air to meet his lungs. He hurt; his chest felt like it was on fire. His entire being burned, he felt sick, he felt like emptying his already empty stomach. He barely caught himself as bile rose uncalled up his throat. He clutched his mouth with an iron grip, willing it to slither back down, leaving behind a disgusting aftertaste. He tightened his grip, his nails digging into his skin. He slowly went through the process of calming down, trying to reclaim his rebelling body. It still hurt through it, his heart though pounded with a will of its own.

Finally after a few minutes, his breath finally steadied, the shaking had stopped, and the dull pain everywhere ceased to hurt him. His heart though still ached. Why would he dream of that? Was his mind trying to slowly rot him from the inside out? He sat up more, clutching the sheet between his fingers. Arminius must have put him in his bed. He hated when he showed something like this much weakness. He vowed that he wouldn't anymore, not after…

His breath hitched and accelerated again.

'Stop it, you've been away and gone from that road a long time!' He chastised himself. No one was going to bully him into submission again. He hated this so much, being again so nostalgic. He looked around the darkened room, finding his labtop screen with the light blue time flashing as its screen saver.

5:30 am.

He was early, earlier than usual. He somehow found it unbelievable that someone who had through taxing emotional stress and cried himself to sleep and barely had enough energy to get near his bed could be up and ok at five o'clock the next morning. He shook his head, feeling his hair slap his forehead. Ugh, he needed to re-gel it up again. He looked once more at his computer.

His Facebook inbox was exploding practically off his screen as the screen saver clock died away and Facebook showed up, his inbox number huge.

Why was it going off now of all times? And why did he even still check the stupid thing? Facebook was rooted a bit to his childhood horror story. He got up and silently sat himself in front of the screen, a loose blanket draped around his shoulders. It was chilly in the middle of the night still, and being shirtless didn't help the fact that a chill passed over him as his dragged his arrow near the inbox.

Tears flew as he scrolled down the messages.

'_James S.: Hey there faggot! Who knew you, off all people, were a curved as a loop!'_

'_Jeena F.: Holy crap, Ludwig, if I had known you were this gay…I would have, I cant…'_

'_Kyle H.: Bastard, man! Gay lord, you must tell me how long you I kick you that many times!'_

'_Freda L.: So how's the boyfriend? Screwed him to the gorund yet?'_

'_Derick Liecastor: Hi again, Luddy buddy! How's life and being a faggot?'_

He let out scared cry, staring at the last message, again and again. It couldn't be, it just couldn't!

'**_Derick Liecastor'_**

"NO, It can't…it..it can't" he cried out, clicking the inbox closed. He covered his face, now dripping with fresh tears, trying to block the memories swarming to his mind.

His life-long tormentor was back again.

He however uncovered when he found what was covering his front page. Anger, defeat, sorrow, loss, and every feeling in between bubbled up inside him as he stared at the picture that now was spelled across the internet.

It was a picture of him and Feli, foreheads pressed together, eyes locked. The caption:

'_Found this on my friend's phone. Time for my brother to see what it means to be a fag'_

It was Lovino's post, sent through almost all his online 'friends', posted again and again and again. Lovino must have been friends with Antonio or Francis, because they were the only people to ever get pics. He stared at it for the longest time, trying to figure out how he had gotten the picture from him. It wasn't until he saw the comments from each post that the story pieced together.

'_Antonio C.: LOVI, TAKE IT OFF NOW! WHY WOULD YOU STEAL MY PHONE?!'_

'_Lovino V.: Screw you, tomato bastard. My brother deserves this'_

'_Antonio C.: AND WHAT BOUT THE OTHER PERSON IN THIS?!'_

'_Jeena F.: Holy crap, Lovino, is that Ludwig?'_

'_Greta D.: Holy shit, Ludwig? Like Ludwig the badass who like is a muscle man, THAT Ludwig?'_

'_Tyler B.: Holy shit, Ludwig that cold bastard was gay all along!'_

'_Lovino V.: It is Ludwig, that damn bastard. Feli was hiding at HIS PLACE. He had run to HIM and his family'_

'_Derick Liecastor: Shit man, it's time to start searching for him'_

'_Overa R.: Oh my god, I'm sending this out, thanks Lovino!'_

'_Walter A.: At his place? Wonder is they fucked…'_

'_Mary F.: Ohhhh, they SO fucked! Why else would you hide out at the Beilschimdts. They're faggot lovers!'_

'_Francis B.: MY GOD YOU ASSHOLES!'_

'_Antonio C.: I'M SORRY LUDWIG, FELI!'_

'_Derick Liecastor: Don't be, you dumbass. Ludwig had this coming'_

'_Lovino V.: Enjoy the shame, Ludwig. Being a faggot only gets you hurt and shamed to HELL'_

He slammed it shut, pushing himself away in his rolling chair, trying not to freak out and burst into hysterical tears. First was that now the entire world and cyberspace knew he was gay, and that he would have tormentors following him, ready to shove him down. Second is that he couldn't trust Antonio or Francis. Even though Antonio meant no harm, with Lovino near him he could hurt both Feli and himself with what was on his phone and camera. Third…

How was Feliciano dealing with it? Did he ever go online? He peeked at the screen as he opened it again. Another picture of him and Feli lip locked showed up, and the next comments made him grab for his phone in a blind frenzy.

_'Derick Liecastor: I found Feli's cell. Have it and have fun.'_

Ludwig brought up Feli on his phone and sent him a quick text, tears blurring his vision.

'_How are you holding up?'_

He slammed his labtop closed, set it on his desk and started to get dressed. It was pass six already. He got a response a few minutes later.

_'It's already begun. Just make it end now. Why do they do this to us?'_

Derick had caused this. He was ruining him and Feli simultaneously. He let a whimper as he tugged his backpack off the ground and pounded down the stairs, phone pressed close to him. He wanted to text back, wanted to tell him to beware of Liecastor, but….

He bit back bitter tears as he landed at the end of the stairs. He would have to warn him later.

* * *

**_During the Day…_**

"God dammit, why would they do this!?" shouted Gilbert as they rode home, and by 'they' it meant Arminius driving, and Gilbert holding a high-on-ammonia Ludwig on his lap, well letting Ludwig lay his head in his lap; the rest of him was stretched out in the backseat. Through the course of the day, starting on Ludwig's walk to school, he had been bullied, beaten and then shoved into the janitor closet where he suffered for two hours of ammonia, paint, and other fumes to the point of being completely delirious and high.

On the walk to the school, Ludwig was almost stoned. Four different students had rode up alongside him; stones primed in bags and baskets, and threw them at him, giving him a right black eye and bruising him. He tried to throw one back, but only succeeding in giving one person another rock to throw at him. The whole time the attackers chanted 'raging faggot'. They tried to stone him three times before he reached the guessed 'safety' of the school grounds.

At school, it grew worse. Students he once thought we're accepting and nice turned hateful land scornful, glaring at him behind books and lockers, friends and teachers. Students called out at him with the words 'queer, faggot and its versions, Gaylord' and everything in the book. He was slammed into a locker and threatened to not spread his gayness. They weren't scared of him anymore. He tried to fight back, but it ended with him being nearly knocked out and thrown into the janitor's closet. For the first hour he cried out and called out for help, for anyone to open the door, which locked from the outside, to get him out before he went insane off the fumes. It consumed him until he slowly slid down the door by the hour and a half mark, his eyes seeing nothing. He was getting high off of it, going off his rocker as he saw Feli sitting next to him, whispering about something; something about a razor, and letting it all go. He didn't know what it meant, or why Feli was covered in blood himself, and he left him when the door opened with his livid family and the principle, or at least he thought they were there.

He couldn't explain his side of the story, and he was left with nothing. The bullies claimed innocence. He couldn't speak; he was so out of it. Arminius fought for him and he dumb adults that lead the school heard barely any of it. He was taken home with pardons for being absent for class, but was punished for being in student-restricted space. He could care less. He was getting his senses back, and groaned into his brother's lap. His family turned to look at him. They had gotten home.

"Hallo, Ludwig. Ist alles in Ordnung? Kannst du reden?" [Are you alright? Can you speak?]

"Es tut so weh, Arminius. Es tut einfach verdammt weh. Können wir heim gehen?" [Everything hurts, Arminius. It just hurts. Can we go home?] Ludwig said softly, tears suddenly falling down his face. It really was his childhood all over again. Arminius sighed and stepped out, opening Gilbert's door. He shuffled Ludwig off of his lap, setting his head down softly on the leather seat. Ludwig looked up at them like a young child, beaten and confused, the eyes of a lost man.

"Come on, Luddy. We're home" Gilbert said softly, brushing Ludwig's swept down hair away from his eyes. He looked back at him in sadness. Together, with some trouble, they tugged the still slightly high Ludwig from the car, one family member on each side, and brought him inside. They decided against the front room, and slowly took him up the stairs. Halfway up, Ludwig could walk on his own, but they followed close next to him, just in case of any aftereffects. As they neared his room, they made sure he was ok once more, and left. Though Gilbert lingered a bit, and offered a somewhat comforting grip of Ludwig's bruised arm, smiling softly before entering his room.

Ludwig let his door close softly. He had some of his head clear enough. He could feel it. He grabbed his phone, which stayed rooted in his pocket, and opened it. No new text messages from Feli. He sent one quickly as he curled up on his bed, his labtop on his lap. He hoped Feli would understand it, if vision Feli spoke it to him right. He didn't know why he wanted to look at Facebook, but he did.

_'I'll join you. Why do they do this?'_

It had gotten worse. Someone got a picture of him being shoved into the janitor's closet, mid fall. His face looked so scared and twisted. The comments were horrific.

'_Derick Liecastor: HA, the dumb faggot got owned. Oh look, my targets coming out'_

'_Anna F.: hoyl crap, look at his face! The pussy's scared shitless'_

'_Lovino V.: Anyone know if he crapped himself in there?'_

'_Lenny J.: I watched this happen. The guy looked like he was a fucking kicked puppy. The fag's turned into a wuss'_

'_Derick Liecastor: Saved it, I'll look at it later. To my target! Lovino, u at school?'_

_'Lovino V.: Going now. He should be following soon'_

'_Antonia C.: Seriously, you assholes, shut up about this! This is wrong!'_

'_Arianna K.: Seriously, shut the fuck up! Why r you defending this homo?'_

'_Francis B.: Because he's a friend, now shut the hell up yourself! This is completely wrong'_

'_Lovino V.: French bastard, shut the fuck up, you don't belong here! Ludwig's a big fucking faggot who's a real baby on the inside. He's the one who chose to be a faggot'_

'_Francis B.: You shut up yourself! It's not just a choice, my god!'_

'_Kyle F.: Sending this to Twitter, see if it runs far like this shit'_

He snapped it closed, and opened up a box for a new message. Before he started typing, however, he locked his door. He didn't want them finding him mid-type of this.

It was simple, short and to the point. He looked at his vibrating phone; Feli had texted back.

_'We're both ready then?'_

He let a goofy smile make its way on his face. He grabbed the phone, and texted back. He dropped the computer lightly on to his bed as he made his way to his own desk. The razor from Arminius shone under the soft light. He took hold of it, gripping it firmly until it pricked a bit of blood out of his palm.

_'I'll see you on the other side'_

He rested the razor flat in his palm. He set his phone in place of it, a small message if his family never found his Facebook post. He unlocked his door before continuing forward. He didn't know why, but it relaxed him to know it would be open for the world to see. He walked to his own bathroom, opened the door and shut it. He turned his bathtub on; he needed to make sure it masked the sound.

He thought of his last words as he remembered what to do, and cut into his wrists, cut into the old scars of self-harm from so long ago. The blood looked like living crimson and he had to smile down at it; it was a long-lost friend he could finally say 'hello' and 'goodbye' again.

"Auf Wiedersehen" he said softly, dragging it over the other wrist.

_'I hope your happy, making a fool out of me and making me relive past horrors. You've made your point nice and clear: I don't belong here._

_I hope you enjoy my absence from the world. Thanks for showing me what's right'_


	6. Pieces

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'Pieces' by Icon for Hire-**_

* * *

"_Thank you Barbara. We are getting breaking news in that tragedy has hit one of our most beloved families here in town. One of their youngest boys has been taken from home and admitted to the nearby hospital to treat wounds from an attempted suicide. We cannot get any more news currently, seeing that they are keeping us out of the facility, but we hope to-"_

The TV shut off with a quick snap, and the remote was almost thrown into it before it was caught by Romulus. He looked at it blankly before setting it down on the coffee table at his feet. He wiped sudden tears from his eyes and sat back down next to his grandsons, one who was still crying while the other had fallen asleep by crying himself out.

Sebastian held on to what scrap of consciousness and nerve he could, the crying and pain from the earlier events still affecting him harder then he thought. He tried to be comfortable on the couch, but could only find that it seemed to stab him every time. He still felt unclean, his hands still felt tainted in blood. He shivered hard and bolted up to wash his hands again. Romulus didn't call after him. He brushed his other grandson's hair out of his face, watching as it softened.

Lovino had completely broken down. After Feli was taken away to the hospital, where they were told they would be called when they could visit, he had shut down and sobbed out everything: his mistakes, his wrong hate for him, and his shameful use of the internet to ruin Feliciano's life. He let it all out like his grandpa was a priest, confessing to sin. He broke down the moment the ambulance took his brother away, and as soon as they moved into the house, he succumbed to the arms of sleep. He squirmed and whimpered here and there as he tried to collect himself through sleep.

The day seemed normal when Feli went upstairs earlier. Lovino had come downstairs, and Sebastian had joined them from outside. They simply talked and laughed for a bit for maybe fifteen minutes, until Lovino had this sort of foreboding; the uneasy feeling you'd get when something bad was about to happen. He signaled Sebastian to follow him and both quickly excused themselves and ran upstairs. Lovino's mind completely set on Feliciano. He didn't know why but it felt connected to him, but something was wrong. Why did he feel like this anyway for that faggot? He let out a soft sigh as he turned the handle of Feli's room, to only find emptiness. He wasn't there. Sebastian and Lovino searched, until Sebby opened the bathroom door, and screeched, rushing inside. Romano stood at the door as Sebastian fussed at the ground, red staining his hands. He pushed the door farther open…

…and pushed Sebby out the way, cradling his brother's bleeding and limp body, blood soaking into him everywhere. His brother's blood pooled around both of them like a sickening halo, staining the white tiles. It soaked into their jeans, and his shirt had started to turn a disgusting color. His eyes were open, and looked sickeningly haunted to him. Something was cradled in his left hand. He had really done it; he had tried to commit suicide.

"Feli, god dammit, DON'T DO THIS!" he screamed, cradling him closer. He started to press a bit on his wrists, and then finally noticed his neck. He didn't know what to do. He never knew what to do when something like this happened! He was blank, a complete failure! Why had this happened!? He only knew to do one thing.

"God dammit...no..." Everything started to go numb, but before he let his fears take him over. he looked over at Sebastian, anger gripping him one last time before dissolving.

"GET NONNO!" he screamed at Sebastian, who stared dumbfounded at the scene and the blood on his hands and shirt. He rushed down quickly, taking the stair two at a time. As he landed on the first floor, and found Romulus, it only took one look and an outstretched hand to get them both rushing up, his grandfather pushing him to the side to get ahead. When he barreled into Feli's bathroom, Lovino was close to hysterics, shouting at his brother to wake up and not leave them. Romulus pushed him aside, and cradled his young grandson's body. He death-gripped his wrists as best he could, and looked around. No towels, god dammit, Feli had planned this well. He cursed in Italian several times, and once in German, trying to see if he was still alive. He hovered over his mouth; his breath was extremely shallow. He turned to Sebby.

"Call 911 NOW!" he shouted in Italian, and the youngest boy pulled out his phone and dialed it, shouting for an ambulance. Romulus struggled to swallow rising vomit as he lifted Feli into his arms, tears mixing with the blood clinging to him. He cradled him so close; he could barely feel his chest rise and fall. He rushed down the stairs quickly and carefully, Lovino close to exploding, and by the time they neared the door, paramedics were inside, gurney primed. He set Feli down on to it like a broken piece of porcelain; fragile and torn, passed any hope of being fixed. The medics rushed to stop the bleeding as best they could. They would be taking him to the hospital for better treatment.

"I'm going with him!" Lovino said between sobs, barely able to see through his tears. A paramedic though stopped him. He looked at him seriously and softly.

"I'm sorry, but you can't" he said. On Lovino's head, a vein started to throb, and he shouted in anger and fear.

"WHY NOT?! He's my brother; he's one of the few things I have left!"

"It could hinder our chances of saving him, that's why! Do you want a living body or a dead corpse?" the paramedic shouted back. Lovino grew silent, but shimmered in rage and sadness. The paramedic rushed back to the ambulance as Feli was loaded.

"Where is he going?" Sebastian asked before the doors closed. The same paramedic poked his head out.

"W.M Medical Center near the next town. We'll phone you when he's stable"

As they started to pull away, Lovino rushed forward, trying to get to Feli in a futile attempt to be with him. Romulus wrapped his arms around his waist and held him back, fighting back Lovi's attacks and shouts.

"NO, DON'T HOLD ME BACK! FELICIANO, I'M SORRY!"

They fell to the ground in a pile of limbs. Lovino cried out into the sky, curling up around himself as the sirens drew farther and farther away. He screamed out as loud as possible, drawing the attention of more bystanders. His neighbors had saw the entire thing, and a few of them watched in tears as the family now suffering broke down in messy tears and despair. Sebastian shook just behind them, staring at his bloodied hands.

"I-I need…..I'm sorry" Sebastian rushed inside, trying not to cry out in disgust and depression. Lovino continued to cry out everything in his grandfather's arms, as said older man cried himself.

It wouldn't be the same anymore; it NEVER would. The crowd did not last long, but the tears that would be shed would last like time.

* * *

The call came approximately four hours and ten minutes after he left via ambulance. Lovino was slowly waking up and when Romulus' phone rang, he was up and on his feet, tugging on a jacket. He didn't change out of the blood-covered clothing he fell asleep in. He wouldn't even think of it as Romulus answered the phone and slowly smiled, albeit sadly. He snapped it closed, the old thing, and stood. Sebastian walked back in, hands pink. He tugged his own jacket off the coat rack.

"So?" Sebastian prompted. Romulus looked to his little ones solemnly.

"He's ok, at least for now. They won't say anything else until we get over there" he answered and took his keys off of the island in the kitchen. Lovino wiped away disobedient tears as he followed the old man outside, noting that the sky had turned grey. God must have been angry, or in despair, because as the convertible hood went up, small raindrops splattered against the windshield. The wind began to rummage over their town, blowing trees this way and that. The rain grew harder as they drove slowly to the World Meeting Medical Center. Lovino just stared out of the window, tears glistening from their perches on his eyelids. He found himself envisioning his youth, with Feli and him dancing around in the rain, ignoring the pleas of both Romulus and Armi-

The tears shrank away instantly and hate bubbled in their place. He shimmered in pent-up rage. How was that bastard of a German in his memories? He never remembered him ever, and now suddenly he was everywhere, haunting them in the background, smiling. He scowled, but the tears grew back. Feli had once more entered his mind. He sniffled once more, trying his best to battle tears as they fell with the rain as it pelted on their windows in a relentless attack.

Sebastian sat still, staring ahead almost like a dead man. He was still shell-shocked, scarred from the scene he found his brother in. He still shook a bit, constantly rubbing his hands. It still felt like there was blood on them. He whimpered and set his hot forehead on the cool window next to him. He wasn't crying, but he was damn close to it.

It was a solemn ride to the hospital. Nothing was said, and only the rain and fading whimpers accompanied them. The radio said firmly off, Romulus fearing that more news on his grandson's suicide attempt would be blaring itself to the area. He growled though as they drew close to the hospital entrance, and noticed a crowd of news vans and worried peoples. How did it spread so fast? They pulled up alongside of an officer standing by. The man looked at them quickly and smiled, waving them into the back entrance.

"Don't want to be caught into that shitstorm. Two suicide attempts today…" the man said before they drove off into the booth-guarded entrance. Lovino looked at Romulus as they were waved in fully, driving into the back parking lot.

"Two suicide cases?" Lovino asked softly. Romulus let out a sigh; he had no clue either. Lovino wasn't letting it drop as he watched the door of the hospital as they parked. Only a few cars were here. Another convertible was parked right in front of them, and it almost look like blood or something stained the inside of it; the tan backseats looked darker, almost black in some parts. The rain continued hard, and the Vargas family lifted up their hoods, while Romulus opened an umbrella left in the car. As they walked up to the waiting room doors, Lovino snuck a peek into the car with the tan seats. There it was again; that foreboding feeling. He shivered in his jacket and quickly caught up with his family. The door automatically opened for them, and Romulus almost lost it.

"What are you doing here?!"

The Beilschimdts were in the waiting room as well, including Lili and Basch who were partly shell-shocked from the looks of it. Romulus and Arminius were starting to get up into each other's faces when Gilbert started to stand, but was pushed down by Lili. She wobbled to the Vargas family line and nearly shouted at them.

"Ludwig tried to kill himself!"

The entire lobby froze. Gilbert stood up fully, standing next to Arminius. He was completely red in the face, tears silently falling down his face with a pink tint. It was then that the Vargas family noticed that Gilbert, Arminius and Lili were covered in blood. Blood spotted the young Liechtensteinian girl's leggings and shirt, her fingertips and hands caked with dried blood. She wore a grim expression; one unfamiliar to Lovino if his memories were correct, and if he remembered them right. Gilbert and Arminius looked the worst. Gilbert was covered in dried blood, soaked into his shirt. His jacket was dotted with it as well. His face was a hollow of its usual bright, hyper self. It was completely dead of emotion, except depression, sadness, and maybe a spark of hope. Arminius' chest had one large splatter of Ludwig's blood, and small drip lines flowed down his shirt and onto his pants. He looked like he went through hell and shook hands with the devil.

"Lili, don't…" Arminius started to stay, but was silenced by a wave of the girl's hand.

"Gilbert and I found him in his bathroom, wrists slit and one long cut down his right leg. There was so much blood, and he looked like death embodied, and just…just…" Lili started to break down, crying with power. Basch was about to comfort his little sister when Lovino stepped up first, enclosing her into a hug right up to his chest. The families stared at them bewildered. Lili looked up to Lovino's unreadable face.

"L-lovino?"

The Italian boy pressed her closer as he let out a sob. Lili let her tears fall on Lovino's bloodied shirt and jacket, clinging to it like a security blanket. The two simply sobbed with each other, while the others watched and wondered why Lovino would do such a thing; he hated the German family a few days ago, now he was friendly like this?

"Why, Lovino?" Gilbert asked softly. The two pulled away slowly, Lili smiling at Lovino. He gripped her arm softly, and turned to Gilbert, the rare smile only his family knew flashing to his face.

"Because now I know I was wrong. I was wrong to hate you all. I always thought you had it easy, but…

"…But I was wrong, very wrong. I don't know how, but I want to make it up, if it's possible"

The families sat down after the confession by Lovino, and simply talked. They talked about what had happened, and what had led up to this. Lovino, through the hard tears and sobbing, confessed the horrors he had committed to hurt his brother, through blind rage. Gilbert, Lili, and Arminius shared stories of Ludwig's hard past, which made Sebastian tear up with each account of the terror he went through at age 6. Basch even contributed to the pile, showing them Ludwig's suicide note via Facebook. Lovino gasped sharply as they scrolled through the swarm of wrongly posted pictures and their commentaries, Lovino slowly curling into himself with each post. Lili suddenly returned the favor of earlier, and curled up next to him, trying to comfort him. She squeezed his hand gently and he slowly unwound, smiling sadly at her.

"Are you waiting for- oh, you guys!" the nurse popped out from the medical center doors they weren't allowed to pass. Gilbert stood up suddenly, followed by Lovino and Lili.

"Elizabeta?" the trio called out. The Hungarian smiled and blushed, pushing her way out completely. She was dressed up like a nurse, complete with short dress and a nurse cap. A small clipboard was tucked tightly in the crook of one arm, and her hair surrounded her in loose waves. She smiled as Sebastian's jaw nearly dropped, but was elbowed by the adults before it could hit his shoes.

"Only an assistant for now. They let me wear it, since I can actually do their job a bit" She said softly, but then grew serious. "Feli and Ludwig, they…"

The entire waiting room stood up as Elizabeta started to tear up.

"Do you guys know why they did it?" she asked in between sudden sobs. Her makeup was starting to trail a bit as the crystal clear tears fell. Gilbert stepped forward and produced a tissue from his back pocket, wiping away her tears gently. She looked up at him gently, smiling as she took the tissue. Gilbert stepped back a generous distance. The family started to huddle around her, Lovino pushing himself to the front, next to Gil. Elizabeta wiped her fading makeup away, her green eyes brightening.

"We can explain later, Eliza, but we need to know about them right now" Gilbert said, gripping a free hand with vigor. She tore the hand away with a blush and quickly looked down at her keyboard, trying to find what she needed. She found it near the bottom, and smiled, opening the door farther.

"They're stable for now. You guys can go visit now, but you'll have to follow me, alright? Some of the media out front is trying to get to you guys and we can't allow it. You're basically guarded here. Follow me"

Elizabeta turned on her heels, and they followed her by the step, keeping a reasonable distance behind her. They had to pass by the main doors, so they would be seen by the press as they tried to reach their boys. Elizabeta instructed them to try and not stare as they passed. The paused for a moment before reaching the hallway they needed to pass. Another nurse passed them and smiled at Eliza; a sympathetic Ukrainian woman by the name of Iryna, who was big-breasted and albeit jumpy at times. She looked at the main door, guarded by police and security guards and swarmed with media reporters, and signaled when the cameras went downward. Elizabeta quickly led the group down the hall, and about halfway through it, the cameras started to shutter and click, film crews pointing their cameras at them. Police and guard tried to stop it, while Iryna helped usher them onward. Lovino let out a large sigh as they passed it.

"Thanks a lot Katyusha" Elizabeta said as they grew closer. Lovino looked oddly at them.

"I thought it was Iryna" he said quizzically. Lili smirked, while Basch looked at her too. He also wouldn't admit this, but he was looking at the nurse's breasts, because wow were they nearly popping out of the uniform.

"I'm called both, though it really is Katyusha. Iryna is the name I took up when I moved here, to kind of blend in" Katyusha explained, before heading off in the other direction. Lili waved goodbye and shouted out at her as she walked away.

"Goodbye Lili!" she shouted without looking back, waving a hand awkwardly back at her. She then rushed down another hallway, yelling out 'Coming, coming!'. Arminius looked at Lili oddly.

"We girls are close" she simply explained before following Elizabeta who started to walk again. They quickly caught up and by the time they did, Elizabeta had stopped. She pointed to the two rooms to her left and right.

"My left is Ludwig, my right is Feliciano. Go in quietly, they'll be sleeping still"

The families split off, silently opening the doors to see if it was as bad as they thought.

Arminius led the group, Gilbert, Lili and Basch pushed up against each other to see over the older German's back. As they crossed the threshold, and pushed back the curtain separating them and Ludwig, they let out a group gasp, tears building up in Gilbert's eyes.

Ludwig was still pale as hell, even as he was still pumped with blood. From the chart at the foot of his bed, most of the blood had been replaced, but he still looked unhealthy. He lay underneath a white sheet, his breath slow but steady. His hair was still albeit wet, loose and falling on his forehead. A small amount of color had risen to his cheeks, his lips turned pink again. He was faring better then most with so much blood loss, and it seemed that he was getting closer to recovery then expected. His wrists and his leg stuck out from under the sheet. The cuts on his wrists had been cleaned up, sewn shut, and bound up by bandages. The white gauze even covered his palms, to keep it in place; they were tinted pink. His leg was wrapped up in white near his hips, and ended just near his knee. They stitched it up, nice and neat, and made sure it wouldn't reopen. He was just lucky he didn't hit the artery running through his leg. It was close however.

Lili walked up to his side, and opened her satchel still tucked on her left side. She pulled out a small bunch on blue cornflowers, tied with a small brown-amber ribbon, and set it next to Ludwig's bed, and then lightly gripped his hand.

He was here, he was alive, and he survived. Arminius smiled and joined Lili at Ludwig's side. It was going to be ok, he hoped.

In the other room, Lovino led the way, followed REALLY closely by his family; they were entirely up on him to see Feliciano. As they entered, Sebastian was the one to curse the curtain for blocking their view. Romulus almost smacked him upside the head, but Lovino was quick to move the curtain, and reveal their brother.

Feliciano was about as pale as Ludwig, though not as much color had risen to his face. Only a sprinkling of it colored his cheeks; a small dusting of the robust color that should be there. The chart at the base of his bed told them clearly that he would have never made it if they didn't find him when they did. A lot of his blood had been replaced, and they still were trying to get all of it. It also said they may need donations. His lips were a different matter than his cheeks; they had gotten back some color, and they weren't so haunting now that they didn't drip with blood. He was covered with the same sheet as Ludwig, but a second one had been placed; he wouldn't be making a lot of body heat, so nurses were worried. His arms lay above it, one hand curling into the fabric covering him. His wrists were wrapped up in white bandages, some of it crisscrossing his palm; his left arm, up to his elbow, was covered by it. His neck was also covered and protected by the white gauze. It was tinted a very light pink. He had to go through surgery to get the cut at his neck stitched up; it was pretty delicate. He was lucky he didn't clip his windpipe or vocal cords, so they estimated he wouldn't have anything bad besides a scar there.

They didn't notice Lili as she tapped Romulus' shoulder. He parted a path for her to walk up. Lovino caught her eye, and then the hand that slowly retracted from her satchel to find that she had a small bundle of white lilies, tied with a delicate blue ribbon. She handed it to Lovino, and stepped back next to Romulus. Lili's family watched from the doorway as Lovino set the small flowers on the table next to Feli, and started to sniffle; the tears came back.

"Maybe it would be alright after all" Romulus said, turning to Arminius. The German did not respond, but he let a small smirk curl at his lips.

Maybe so…


	7. Wings for the Demons

_**-Chapter inspired by 'Demons' by Imagine Dragons, and 'Wings' by Little Mix-**_

* * *

Time seemed to drag on. After two days of visiting, recovery, and barely avoiding media, the boys still had not woken up. After the first day, the boys had enough blood to get off of the IV's with the blood bags. They were put back on to being fed fluids via tube, but now the families didn't have to worry about reliving the gross amount of blood lost. Both boys' stats were perfectly fine, solid and steady. They just wouldn't wake up from a comatose state they had forced themselves into. Iryna kept telling them that their bodies have recovered, but their minds are still trying to collect themselves. Both she and Elizabeta check in with them a couple times a day, both not noticing any change. Iryna though claimed once that Ludwig had moved a bit, but no one who had visited him had seen him moved even a centimeter. The families were slowly starting to believe that they would never wake up.

Today, Lili was the only one to visit the bedded duo. The others were too tired or mentally done for to visit them anymore. They would wait for the call when they woke up and then visit. No standing by their bedside to wait out for the moment they opened their eyes. Maybe because the emotional downfall had begun. The families had begun to become depressed, almost reclusive in a few instances. They had gone off of their happy high from when the family finally settled their differences, and grew friendly. Although Arminius and Romulus still fought, it was relatively fun and happy. Now they entered the time of failing happiness, and dark realization. Lili somehow kept her head high through the raining sadness at home. She walked into the side entrance once more, fingering the insides of her little brown satchel.

This time the young Liechtensteinian was dressed in a cute tan and white colored dress, sleeveless, with small gold scents and brown tights, paired with a cute pair of white flats. She wore gold bracelets and a small gold necklace, and at the end was tied a small bird with its wings outspread. She waved at the nurse on duty at the desk, and they let her in. She was a regular now, seeing that she visited them every day. As she passed the main lobby once more, she noticed the lack of media. She asked an assistant standing by the main desk.

"We don't know. They all jumped up and left early in the night yesterday" the man said. A passing nurse nodded in agreement.

"I've never seen the media rush out so swiftly. Maybe the story finally dropped" the nurse said, and continued on her way. Lili looked at the doors for a moment, pondering the reasons why they would bolt away from this story. Before she could figure it out, Elizabeta and Iryna ganged up behind her, and scared her, almost letting her satchel fly away from her.

"Don't to that you guys!" Lili playfully yelled at them, girly slapping them. Eliza and Iryna laughed lightly, shushing her to make sure they didn't wake up anyone. Elizabeta gave the assistant the thumbs up sign, and was given one in response. The three girls slowly made their way down the hallway. Elizabeta chatted in a low voice about the boy's progress. Feli had gained back most of the color in his face, and the cut on his neck was starting to scar up nicely. Lili though expressed worry on the scar, seeing that it could bring up a more fitful bullying streak. This time, Iryna informed the younger girl that they could remove it, but the patient in this rare case could decide to; not the family or friends. So until they woke up or gain some sort of consciousness, the issue on their scars was a bit of null and void. Elizabeta continued talking about the improvements. Ludwig was also progressing well too. His skin was catching full color; yes, everywhere, well besides the obvious because the nurses weren't that evasive, they knew the limits. The scar on his leg was healing well too, and the wrists were fully sealed. Iryna commented that they soon would be able to remove the bandages fully, to let them air permanently, but it could be delayed until they woke up.

"Miss Héderváry, please report to the 2nd floor operation room" the PA system blared above them. Eliza cursed underneath her breath and turned on her heel, running down the hall to get to the elevator as a doctor started to enter it as well. The duo waved and yelled their goodbyes, which were almost missed as Eliza barely turned and noticed them. She waved goodbye as the doors closed and she ascended up to the second floor.

"Well, come on Lili," Iryna said, tugging Lili's arm lightly. As they walked slowly down the hall, Lili caught the upcoming doors quickly. She sighed as they grew ever closer. Iryna rubbed her shoulder affectionately, hoping to calm the young girl.

"It's ok Lili. They'll wake up soon, right?" she said. Lili nodded as took a deep breath. She bid Iryna goodbye as she turned down another hallway as a voice called out for her. It sounded familiar, but Lili couldn't pinpoint it. She took another breath, gripped her satchel and walked up to Ludwig's hospital room. The door opened with no problem.

Ludwig was still laying on his bed, but now barely covered up by the sheet; his hospital clothes were whitish-blue, almost like everything else, except one pant leg was pulled up to his hip to expose the bandaged up cut on his leg. His wrists were still bound in white, contrasting with the new light, pasty tan skin. Lili smiled; she really was glad that the color had returned to his entire body. She ran her hand over his right hand, gripping the hand tightly. She squeezed it again, hoping again for a response. Nothing came to her as she squeezed multiple times. She sighed, completely resigned, and pulled up a chair to his side, resting her hands on top of his propped up hands. She watched Ludwig's chest slowly rise and fall for a few moments before starting to talk.

"I came again, Ludwig…" she said, softly, wrapping her hands around his hand. "I just hope you wake up soon, because everyone misses you. I'm pretty sure if Feliciano was awake, he would miss you too"

She was met with silence, but she continued on. Tears slowly built up in her eyes.

"I brought something today again. I..I had to clean it off, b-because your blood…it was still on it but…" she tugged the object up from the bag and set it in his open palm.

"It's your Iron Cross" she said, tears starting to fall as she looked at the necklace. It glinted with the sunlight flowing through the window. It didn't even look like it was ever coated and covered in blood, darkened and dried and crusted on the edges. She sniffled, the tears falling down with virtually no noise. A few dropped onto Ludwig's hand.

"I remember when I and Gil found you in your bathroom. I thought I was going to puke…" she recalled. She closed her eyes, and dove once more head first into the grotesque memory.

_Gilbert was in hysterics, trying to keep pressure on the cut on his leg. Gilbert was shouting at Ludwig in random and spastic German, tryign to get his attnetion if he was still awake. The cut was spilling out crimson ribbons of his blood like rivers. Lili tried as well to keep the blood from flowing hard, keeping pressure on his wrists. She could barely hold her stomach down as she gripped them, feeling the blood seep through her fingers. It was starting to pool up around them again. She shook as she looked at Ludwig's face. She bolted up suddenly, and ran out._

"_Lili, where are you going!?" Gilbert yelled out as she ran. She stomped down the stairs, gaining the others attention as she reached the last step. Arminius and Basch stared impossibly at her._

"_It…..It's Ludwig…" she said breathlessly, raising a hand. Arminius launched off his feet and ran upstairs, calling out for Gilbert. The house had turned into chaos. She was about to run after them, but was pulled back by Basch._

"_Let them handle it!" he yelled at her. She snapped her hand away from him and stared hard and coldly at him. She gripped her wrist as if it were burnt by his touch._

"_I just kept his wrists from water falling blood, bruder, I'm going up there!" she screamed and ran fast to the second floor room of Ludwig's. Arminius was tossing a phone as she peeked around the door frame She caught it and barely caught over the chaos and yellign and frantic action that Arminius instructed her call to call 911. She pressed the buttons quickly, calling for an ambulance for her brother's suicide attempt. She watched in fear as Arminius carried Ludwig in the princess hold, pressed up to his chest, out of the bathroom and walked with hurried pace down the stairs. Gilbert caught her arm and they walked-ran down the stairs and watched from the steps as the ambulance pulled up outside and the stretcher was pulled open for Ludwig. Gil rushed outside to their Großvater, tears building in the corner of his eyes. She watched in immense pain as Ludwig was set on the gurney, and paramedic jumped on him. She walked up to Gilbert, who had fallen to knees next to Arminius. He was sobbing silently into his hands, and their father figure was knelt beside him, trying to keep his own tears back. Lili let her own slide down in fast rivers._

_The ambulance sped off, siren blaring like a nuclear warning. The red warning lights lit up the air even in the bright sunlight. Their neighbors gathered outside, some gasping and murmuring, while others slowly made their way to their home. Lili looked up at the families congregating around them. Arminius slowly rose from his kneel, and disappeared inside. Basch came out, and he didn't look good. He was starting to look green; so close to releasing his stomach of its contents. Arminius came out again, keys in one hand._

"_Come on, we're going to that hospital" he ordered. Gilbert held a cold expression as he rose off his own knees, the tears still clinging to his chin and cheeks and followed him to the car. The families backed off, returning to their homes. A boy from across the street sneered at Lili, as if the torture for Ludwig continued. Lili took a step forward, following Basch as he seemed to numbly wander to the other, and flipped the young boy the finger in defiance of his hate. The boy staggered back a bit, as if taken by surprise. He growled at her as he turned on his heel and left them. She climbed into the car, and closed the door. The car roared to a start and pulled away from the home in silence._

_Lili sobbed in silence, tears pooling in her loose shirt. It hurt to look anywhere. His blood fermented almost everything in her sight._

She let a small sob escape her throat, the tears falling faster onto his hand. She sat there sobbing, the vivid memories replaying. She gripped his hand hard, willing it to do anything; she just needed a sign that he was okay. As she looked up at his face, she felt something tickle her hands. She looked down at the hands. His fingers were moving. They were curling around her hands! She looked up at Ludwig's face, wrapping her hand firmly once more around his, and felt another response. As she stared at his face, his eye lids started to flicker, and then slowly opened, revealing his beautiful cerulean eyes. They watched her for a moment, then widened in complete doubt and disbelief.

"Lili?" his voice was just a whisper, rough but was easy to hear. Lili let out a sob-filled gasp, and smiled wide. Ludwig's finger's on his right hand started to rub silently on his Iron Cross.

"Yes.." she said, sobbing. "Yes, and thank goodness you're awake!"

She launched a hug around him, crying into his shoulder. He winced as he raised his arms, noting that they felt like lead, and hugged her back, running a hand through her hair. She smelled sweet, like strawberries. He smiled into her hair and slowly both drew back, while Lili wiped away tears.

"We were all worried, Luddy. Th-they would be here, but their dealing with a lot. I've come around every day, hoping you would wake up…"

Ludwig smiled sadly, and then looked down at his wrists. They were bound by white bandages. He could see his bound leg as well. The memory of that day, after the Facebook fiasco…It had plagued him in terrors, his mind fractured and hurt. He tried to sit up, but winced as his wrists protested against the movement. He slowly sat up fully, back propped up by his movable bed. He held his hands up, and rotated them, keeping his eyes on his wrist. Tears collected and fell down as he looked at them. He had really done it.

"Ludwig…" Lili's fingers brushed under his eyes, wiping away tears. He set his hands down, one propped by his injured leg. He barely remembered the wound on his leg, but the way it radiated heat under his palm, he knew it was there. He rubbed it with two fingers. Lili watched as he did so, perplexed.

"I don't remember cutting my leg" Ludwig whispered, ghosting his fingers over the leg he nearly killed himself with. Lili lifted his hand away from it.

"The cut you put into it almost killed you. It almost hit an artery" Lili whispered, "and honestly, now it won't matter for long"

"Why not?"

Lili smiled. "Because the scar…the scar can be removed, it you want it to"

Ludwig smiled very lightly, then looked around.

"Where's Feli?" Lili froze as the word's passed Ludwig's lips. Did he not know that Feli committed the act as well? She had checked his phone. Maybe he thought it meant running away in Feli's case? She did not know, and it scared her. She knew and feared that he would ask for him. She let out a small breath, unsure how to tell him.

"Lili…"

She turned to Ludwig.

"Where's Feli?"

She looked down, entwining her thumbs. She spoke barely in a whisper.

"…."

"_Was_?"

"Feliciano tried to commit suicide, same as you. He was hospitalized the same time you were. The nurses told us all that if his family had found him any later, he would have died" she said, tears falling. She covered her mouth afterword, and watched Ludwig's face go from serious to disbelieving and then to heartbreak, sinking back to his bed. He shook hard, tears falling faster then she thought physically possible. He covered his mouth as sobs racked his entire body. Lili went to put a hand on him, but she was swatted away.

"H-he…he tried…" was all he could say, overtaken by grief. "Oh my gott…..

"He's in the room across the hall" she added silently. "He hasn't woken up. His family, I believe, is about to give up even though physically he's okay"

A hiccup escaped Ludwig. He sobbed hard behind the guard of his hand. Lili broke down as well, and caught Luddy's head as it started to droop. He cried into her shoulder, gripping her side with a tight grip. He was falling apart. He sobbed out Feli's name into the shoulder as well. Lili rubbed silent circles into his back; she didn't know what else to do. She couldn't exactly take him across the hall.

The door creaked open, and a sharp gasp made both of them look up. Elizabeta stood in the hallway.

"L-ludwig, your awake" Eliza said in disbelief, rushing up to meet them until she caught sight of the tears. Her own silenced, and she walked up to him.

"F-feli…is he…" was what he mumbled, pressing his face into his step-sister's shoulder. He looked up coyly, eyes already rimmed red from tears. Eliza tapped the top of his head twice, and it rose silently, looking up at the assistant nurse.

"He's isn't awake. He barely survived, like you." Elizabeta said. "Y-you didn't know he did it?"

Ludwig shook his head. "I thought he would run. We had discussed once about it a bit, just in case. We never expected it to be so bad. He agreed to run, while I would find him. I never knew he would…h-he…" he broke down in tears again, immediately caught by the two girls, who tried to calm his cries.

"Why didn't you run to find him, Luddy?" Lili asked in his ear. He sobbed out an answer.

"Because the thought of running meant nothing then"

Eliza bit back a sob, but then tugged the sheets covering Ludwig. She gripped his arm, and started to pull him to the edge of the bed.

"Come on, Ludwig. We're going to see Feli. You need to, alright?"

The Germans worked with Elizabeta and her plan easily, and soon Ludwig had his feet hovering over the ground. This would be the hard part; no one knew if he could even walk on his leg, and if he couldn't, they wouldn't have time to get a wheelchair to help transport him. He wiggled his toes, feeling the coolness of the ground nip at the digits. His leg started to burn a bit as he planted his uninjured leg on the ground, and then the other. He hissed as a lightning bolt of pain shot up his leg and into his spine. Eliza huffed about being careful with how much weight he put on it. He slowly stood, bracing himself with his arms on the medical bed. He could support his weight by standing and keeping hold of something. Now the challenge was to walk without falling or tripping.

He let go of the bed. For a moment it felt like he was falling, or flying, or maybe both. The girls held their breath, waiting for him to curse as he legs collapsed underneath him, sending him to the ground. The moment never came. He stayed on his feet. He let a little celebratory chuckle leave his lips. He took one step, and another, and soon he was practicing his pace in circles. Elizabeta was taking photos, storing them for later. Lili smiled and lightly clapped; she didn't want to alert the hospital of his status of being out of comatose just yet. As soon as he got a good pace up, Elizabeta and Lili flanked him and they pushed the door open. Eliza scouted the hall, sticking her head out of the door. She stepped out and opened Feliciano's door, and ushered them over. Ludwig stepped out, taking careful steps even though he knew he could do it. His thigh was starting to burn just a bit. Lili kept up the rear and the trio stepped into the room.

Ludwig gasped as he saw Feli, still out like a light. The bandage on his neck seemed like an omen to him. He walked up to his side, and brushed his hand over the neck bandage. Feli did not react to the touch, but he could feel his pulse under the sensitive fingertips. Feliciano had sliced his neck, along with his wrists, to commit the act? He let his hand linger downward, and curled his hand into one of Feli's, feeling the soft rub of the bandages against his own wrist.

"Come on, Feli. I'm right here…" he whispered, bringing his face right up to his, resting his forehead against his. "I'm so sorry, liebe"

Silence surrounded them. Lili let out a soft sigh, and Elizabeth followed. They went to Ludwig's side.

"It hasn't been any use, Luddy. Nothing had worked…" Elizabeth said, until Ludwig seemed to shake and gasp out something unintelligible. Instantly, as if they knew, they all locked their eyes with the boy's joined hands.

Feli's hand had started to curl around Ludwig's fingers.


	8. Shadows Can't Hold Us

**_-Chapter Inspired by 'Can't Hold Us' by Macklemore and 'From Shadows' by Jeff Williams for the RWBY anime by Monty Oom-_**

* * *

It was as if a universal cue was given to the girl's watching as Feli's hand completely curled around Ludwig's hand, one finger rubbing the blonde's bandaged wrists. Elizabeta, who took the cue instantly, tugged ever so gently on Lili, and both girls exited stage right, closing the door gently behind them. Lili giggled under her breath, finally understanding why her best friend pulled her out of the room.

"Good call, Eliza" Lili said, looking at the young nurse who now tried to peek through the any crack, or small window. She knew it was right to leave the room, to let the boys have the privacy they needed for this possible teary, magical reunion, but she was bursting at the seams; she wanted to watch! She wanted to document and record it. She let a sigh pass her lips and backed away from the door.

"No way for me to watch. I did however remember I'm still working, and my next job starts at the other end of the hospital. Care to join me to let the boys have their time?" Elizabeta said, offering a hand to Lili in the form of a bow. Lili smiled and blushed playfully, taking the hand with a curtsy. The girls laughed and joked as they walked down the hallway, leaving the small corner of this hospital to the two lovers now recovering a lost love.

Ludwig watched in itching anticipation as the hand curled around him, and slowly his shoulder shook, and finally the tremor to awake him was at his eyes. Ludwig, out of pure accident, let the hand go, swinging and slipping his hand free from the death grip and leaned on an empty corner of the bed. The bed suddenly made a whirring sound, and slowly expanded out, making it almost twice its size. The bed could probably fit both him and Feli. The ideas of what could happen sent a heat wave up to Ludwig's face and hands, turning him a shade of red. He scooted up on the bed, his legs swinging as he did so, and took the hand once more. His eyelids started to twitch open. Ever so slowly, the sleeping beauty on the bed opens his eyes, brown-amber eyes once more shining in perfect beauty. He remembered when he was in the darkness, he always saw those eyes. They guided him around; they showed him what was worth staying for. They were his gateway, his home.

They belonged to his soul mate.

The eyes finally opened to their full potential, took a moment to focus in on his cerulean blue ones, and widened to impossible peaks. Tears immediately flew from the corners of the eyes, and his mouth twisted in odd angles, searching for the words he wanted to say to the marvel of humanity now sitting at his side. Ludwig's fingers brushed the falling tears with a bandaged palm, staring at him with such an intense look in his eyes; it melted his heart, and built it back together. It didn't hurt to feel, it didn't hurt to feel his heart beat so hard against his chest, wanting this so much. He could feel the bandage burn on his neck; the cut was there. Did it hinder his words from coming out of his mouth? He pressed a shaking hand to his neck, feeling the soft white material ripple under sensitive fingertips. Ludwig took hold of the hand, and shook his head. He tapped his hand in a sequence he recognized; their made up sign language. He even still remembered it. He knew if he looked at the hands of Ludwig, there would be bandages wrapped around them.

His silent message to him: 'No damage besides a scar'. How was it possible that he hit nothing besides a vein? He instead smiled through the tears, and a sob racked itself through him. It vibrated oddly at his neck before it echoed out of his mouth. He didn't feel pain, just an odd discomfort. He didn't care; he could feel it bubble up. He could feel his strength build in a sudden burst of energy. He could do it, just do it!

"Ludwig!" he launched himself off his back, and into Ludwig's arms which were primed as he soared up into his chest. They curled around each other, hands busying themselves by rubbing the other's back, Ludwig twisted and turned his body, flexing and rotating, until Ludwig and Feli lay still on their sides, Feli's face pressed into his abs, hugging him with all he's worth. Tears flowed from them both in great seams of blue and crystal drops. They scooted up against each other, trying to map out every contour and corner of their bodies, trying to make sure they won't lose this moment. Feli slowly dragged himself up, pressing his face into the crook of Ludwig's angular shoulder, the tears soaking into the hospital-given clothes. He clung to the fabric with vigor and determination; he never wanted to let go again. They lay there, pressed up right next to each other for a moment, until Feli smiled into the shoulder, and looked up at Ludwig's sad-happy face.

"You're okay and alive…" Feli said roughly, his throat still a bit soft from the emergency operation to shut the cut vein. He would probably sound a bit rough for a bit, until he worked his neck and vocal cords back up to full strength. Ludwig smiled with a cute chuckle, brushing Feli's wild red-brown hair from his face and planted a small whisper of a kiss to his forehead.

"Yes, and so are you. When I was told, after waking up, that you almost died from your suicide attempt…" Ludwig's throat caught and betrayed him. A loud sob left his own, the conversation once more fresh in his mind. Feli this time took his turn comforting his boyfriend, gently rubbing circles into his exposed cheek, and knotting his other hand into his hair. His lips whispered over his, words softly leaving the pink muscles that teased the German's.

"I thought you died too, but here we are Ludwig…survivors of our own…"

The words made tears build once more in both their eyes. They stared deeply into each other's eyes, trying to think of anything to say. Nothing was said, or thought of. They were pushed into the blanks of their minds for the first time. It wasn't until Feli wrapped his arms around Ludwig's neck that their minds started up once more. Their hearts bounced in their chests in time with each other, their ribs bouncing back and forth. Lips softly landed on top of lips, electricity sizzling between their joined mouths. It was like their first kiss all over again. It felt needed and beautiful and just plain magical. Their eyes fluttered closed for a moment before they broke for air, and left very little distance between them.

A hand came up a caressed Feli's cheek, the thumb rubbing idle circles. They rested on each other's foreheads, eyes diving into each other. It wasn't long until Feli let his eyes slid closed, and let his breathing slow. He was tired and was just glad he could rest in the arms of something better than darkness and cold. He had grown tired of the cold embrace, but now he had something warm, something solid to hold onto to help him. He had the best thing to hold on to as he dreamed of a better future now that he knew he was alive. He curled up to Ludwig's chest, letting a sigh slip past his lips, and fell asleep for the first time where his dreamland was not black, but white. Ludwig softly wrapped one arm around to the small of Feli's back, and the other around his head like a protective halo. He let his own eyes fall, and let his blank dreams carry him off. Feli's eyes appeared once more, but there was more. It was Feli, leading him through his mind.

Both boys smiled in their sleep, and drifted off with the other in their arms.

* * *

As the hospital witnessed and experienced a miracle like no other, the Beilschmidt and Vargas families were trying to pull themselves up of their own dug depressive holes. Arminius and Romulus had finally dug themselves out, dusting off the oppressive feelings chaining them to the ground, and now worked hard to get their family out of it as well. Arminius only had to deal with Gilbert on his side; Basch had left to go back to his home without Lili, who had somehow convinced her brother that she wanted to stay with Arminius and the boys for good. He nevertheless left a goodbye for when she returned home from her usual trip to the hospital and departed with soft words to both of the families.

Romulus was having a bit of a struggle. Sebastian was slowly digging himself up; he was smiling more and returning to his usual soft, out-of-this-world self by flirting once more with girls. Romulus now cared less if his family slapped God and called him a grandpa. He was done with strict religion; it had torn his family to pieces. Lovino though was having a very hard struggle with his morals, emotions, energy and his thoughts all at once. He refused to leave his room for long periods of time, ate very little, and was watching any sort of sharp object like he could make it burst into flames or throw it out into the garbage. It was getting desperate. It wasn't until he looked through Facebook once more that something clicked; a way he could help him, and maybe even help Gilbert. He softly smiled.

He opened messages for both Antonio and Francis.

It wasn't long before the two families met up at the Beilschmidt home, and Antonio and Francis arrived. They honestly were scared shitless when the news came of their friend's suicides, but couldn't bare to go to the hospital because they were afraid of what they would find. Sebastian said that it was okay to feel like that, and started their integration into the conversation rippling around the home. Francis found Gilbert easily, and slowly tried to talk him out of the depression. He wasn't convinced though when Francis said they would make it out. He also said his own feelings were doomed. That brought a red flag up in the Frenchman. He grew closer to the albino and whispered his question. Gilbert looked him straight in the eye, something he rarely ever did, and gave him the answer.

"I think I'm gay too…"

Francis did not gasp, or give a disgusted sneer. No, he just sat next to him with a smile on his face, and took his hand softly. Gilbert though was bewildered by the motion, and pulled away with a blush.

"So? I defended the boys when they were in trouble. Plus Gilbert, remember something. I am French; I grew up in France for a part of my life! I respect such things with a burning passion. There is a reason why I have always defended any notion of homosexuality. It runs in my blood, and I am proud to say I'm rather glad to have a gay friend!"

Gilbert teared up. That was probably the most beautiful thing anyone has said to him, and it hit straight to his pride. It boosted up into the sky, and he hugged Francis tightly. The blonde hugged him back with a chuckle, and watched as Gilbert stood up, took out his phone and texted someone. He tossed the phone to Francis.

"Tell me when he texts back, alright? I'll be back" Gilbert went into the recesses of his home, and for a moment he was given time to look around the room. The family was just…talking, simply talking. Romulus and Arminius were huddled in the kitchen talking over cups of coffee. Sebastian was sitting near the window, sketching out a scene maybe, or possibly writing something, he couldn't tell. Antonio was trying to talk to Lovino, though it seemed futile. He had locked him out. It wasn't until Antonio set his face straight, sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug that Lovino let go of his self-worth, and cried into his shoulder silently. Maybe Antonio was a magic key to the stubborn kid. The phone in his lap started to vibrate. He raised it up and called out to Gilbert, standing up. Gilbert rushed in with a smile and grabbed the phone, probably opening the message. Just then, the doorbell rang, and all attention went to Gilbert who cleared his throat and the door. Gilbert opened the door, but shielded the person who stood in the door.

"Now's a better time than ever….um. Guys, this is Roderich…" Gilbert moved from the doorframe to reveal Roderich, who watched Gilbert with an unreadable expression. The adults walked out of the kitchen ad Roderich stepped inside, and removed his jacket. Gilbert set it aside, and cleared his throat again. He was blushing big time, and Lovino even stood up to watch.

"This is Roderich….my boyfriend"

The house grew silent, watching as the hands of Roderich and Gilbert intertwined. Both sported crimson blushes, Gilbert's eyes now swarming with tears as no one seemed to answer. It wasn't until Francis stood, and opened his mouth, that people started to answer. Arminius smiled, and rose his cup over his head.

"Well, then congratulations Gil" he said, breaking into a large smile. Romulus followed. Lovino though grew closer to them, and smiled his first large, happy smile in nearly a year. Both awaiting boys finally relaxed, and conversation on how this relationship ever started. Romulus though watched it all happen from his spot just inside the kitchen. Francis slowly removed himself from his spot on the couch and walked up to him.

"What's going on Romulus?" Francis asked, propping his chin on his hands, balancing on his elbows on the granite top counter. Romulus sighed, and set his cup down next to him. He wasn't looking so good, and continued to stare at Gilbert.

"Even after all of this, it still doesn't feel right" Francis looked up at Romulus, confused.

"What doesn't?"

"Having friends and family who are gay. It seems weird, seeing that…." Romulus looked down at his shoes, letting the sentence hang in the air between them. Francis stood up to full height, and tugged Romulus back into the kitchen, talking in hushed whispers. The living room erupted into light laughter as Francis and Romulus spoke.

"Seeing that what? Look, Romulus, I realize this is a bit prying but….did something similar happen in your childhood, or something?"

Romulus sighed once more, looking at the ground. His eyes seemed to be more….distant. They were almost empty, something you rarely saw in the lively Italian man. He took a seat on the ground of the kitchen, and Francis watched as he rubbed his hands together.

"It's….something like that, yes…." He started to explain. Francis sat down as well, leaned forward to take in every detail.

* * *

Elizabeta and Lili returned to Feli and Ludwig's little cut off wing of the hospital with full stomachs, lively smiles, and finished jobs. Apparently, Lili was pretty bilingual, thank goodness for that, because they had to help a woman who did not know any English and only spoke Spanish. Lili had helped the woman through explaining her position here in the hospital and what they would be doing to help her. With that job complete, they took time for lunch, and review their collected material for Ludwig and Feliciano.

For now, the walk back was clam and quiet, the sun starting to sink behind the horizon. She hadn't realized how long she was gone from home. Maybe her brother had decided to go back home without her? She hoped, because stay here was what she wanted. Elizabeta opened Ludwig's door, and found it still dark and empty. Eliza smiled and opened Feli's door next, and the two girls snuck into the dimmed room and gasped lightly as they found the two still cuddling in their sleep. Elizabeta shifted a lock of Feli's hair from his face, and closed the curtain for privacy. She looked at them quietly from behind the curtain. Lili took a silent picture and then opened her text messages.

"Elizabeta, do you think we should tell them now?" Lili asked, hovering over the call button for Arminius. Elizabeta looked at her phone, and then at the boys. She nodded. Lili hit call. It rang for a few moments, and finally connected.

"Lili, what's going on?" Arminius sounded calmer than usual. Lili smiled behind the cover of her phone, and walked into the hallway with Elizabeta, who took a guard position in the hallway.

"I have good news from the hospital"

* * *

Everyone froze and watched as Arminius spoke to Lili, tears suddenly building up in the corner of his eyes. Francis and Romulus stood up and away from their spots in the kitchen, the Frenchman peeking at Romulus time to time. What he had just learned could change a lot. As Arminius hit the 'end' for the call and wiped away the tears, and looked out to the gathering of the families.

"We need to head over to the hospital, now" he started to head for the door. Romulus caught up quickly as the rest of them crowded around, murmuring.

"What the hell is going on Arminius?" Romulus demanded. The German looked over his shoulder with a smirk.

"They've woken up, Roma. They're awake" he said, emphasizing 'awake'. Romulus looked at him bewildered and grabbed for his own keys. The household rose up in cheers, and swarmed outside, piling into the three vehicles parked outside. Quickly, the engines were fired up and were on their way to the hospital, to finally see their awoken survivors.

* * *

Feliciano slowly stirred in his sleep, not awaken by nightmares or the cold relentless phantom hands that plagued him from time to time. It was the feather-light touch of Ludwig's hair blowing around in his face. He slowly opened his eyes, watching as the freed bangs pushed and swayed in the light breeze created by the AC unit. He lifted a free hand, and brushed them back, like Ludwig would do when he gelled it back away from his face like usual. It did not stay back, but it curled up his head, making it look like a disfigured art piece made of hair. He chuckled lightly, and left another brush of lips against his soul mate's own. He loved when he could catch him sleeping; it gave him time to map out places he could touch or cuddle into. He lowered his gaze, and traced the faint outlines of his body thought the soft material of his shirt.

It was sort of bulging, if he could call it that. It framed him to the dot; each rigid muscle even when relaxed was mapped out in the blue and white striped shirt. He ran his hand over a section of his chest, feeling the muscle. It still excited him when he did this. He only ever saw the marvel beneath the clothing once, after he had taken a shower, and he was just conveniently sitting in his room waiting. To this day, even after all the woe; he never regretted drooling over the beauty of his chest.

He gazed even further south, passing his crotch without another look. He knew not to pressure into anything; the thought about it was a very fleeting thought that happened only once. He however hooked onto the bandage wrapped around his leg. It was very lightly tinged pink, probably from leaked blood from his own surgery, and tight all the way down to his knee. Part of the pants was covering the top of it, masking it from prying eyes. He ghosted his fingers over it, barely touching it for fear that if he did, it would snap and break like cracked glass.

He pulled away with a satisfied smile. There really wasn't anything to map out anymore. He looked back up to his, and poked his cheek, watching with glee as a smile curled from his lips. He looked so cute when he dreamt of happiness, smiling like a goofball. He curled up next to him once more, intertwined their fingers, and let his eyes fall. He was getting sleepy again. He could, if he strained his ears, hear Lili and Elizabeta at the door. He smiled as he started to drift off. His dream slowly came into fruition, although he could still hear Lili and Elizabeta chat away. The dream looked like a soft glowing field, and just in the horizon he could make out the figures of Ludwig and Lili waving him over. The chatting from the girls outside his mind increased, and he smiled.

He didn't want to bother them now; they sounded rather happy as the words 'family on the way' and 'excited' crossed over eavesdropping ears. He slowly let his dream capture him and he ran for the dream Ludwig and Lili.


	9. Lovely Past and Remembering Sneers

**_-Chapter Inspired by 'Cocoon of White Dreams ~Remembering the past~' and 'Golden Sneers ~Lovely Banquet~' by Akiko Shikata-_**

* * *

Ludwig awoke maybe a few minutes after Feliciano had fallen back into the sandman's trap. He still felt a bit of tug from the trap, but pushed it to the back of his mind. He finally had a calm mind, something he could finally make sense of. He looked up at Feli's peaceful sleeping face. He was all smiles and blush, a light dusting of it pressing itself to his cheeks. Ludwig wondered what was causing it. He tightened the grip on Feli's hands, and watched him squirm just a bit, chuckling softly. His smile grew just a notch. He chuckled himself, amused by the cute display. He was starting to really soften him. He set his hand on his cheek, feeling the soft heat underneath his palm. He really did thank whoever was watching them that they saved them. He would have never been happy without this exciting Italian in his life. He changed his life before he even could comprehend that he liked him.

It wasn't really all that long ago. He slowly sat up, keeping his hand tied together in Feliciano's. He was starting to become a bit restless. His heart was speeding up again, pounding in his chest like a hammer. He looked down at Feli for a moment, and finally got off of the extended medical bed. He pushed the earlier button once again, watching the bed shrink up to normal size again. He didn't know why it kind of hurt to do it, but he had a feeling it would be good if he did it. He sank into one of the chairs, watching Feli's chest rise up and down gently. He was starting to get sleepy again. He propped his head up in one hand, and slowly let his eyelids sink down.

His dream started out calmly, like it had been the few times he had fallen asleep. Calming, always in a setting he knew. This time it was the school. Something shivered over him as he ventured through his mental world; something was coming. He had NEVER felt that the instant he entered these dreams. He knew the school held dark corners and pasts, but a cold anticipation shiver? His dream world disappeared and was quickly replaced by an empty street lined with forests and emptiness, night reigning supreme. This didn't happen here; random teleportation. Something was wrong, and that scared him more than the dark rolling clouds above him. He looked up, hearing the thunder before the strike, and bolted with fear swarming every cell in his body. As the lightning bolt struck the ground where he once stood, he was thrown down to the ground, buzzed by the traveling electricity. He shook as the ground was blackened, charred to destruction. If he had stayed there any longer…

He scrambled to stand up, shaking with sudden fear. Why the hell was he so scared? He shook as he tried to run, only to have another lightning bolt shriek near him, hitting the tree a couple yards away from him, sending the tree into a mighty blaze, and shock-waving him back to the ground, landing into the rain-soaked street. It was pouring hard, pelt complete sheets in this dream. He slowly started to pull himself up, shaking even more as he watched the tree blaze up into flames, black and grey smoke rising up into the dark sky. He panted hard, trying to keep himself together. He started to see the ground around him brighten and he looked to his right.

A car was speeding right at him, and wasn't slowing down for anything.

Ludwig screamed out, trying to scramble up to his feet, but slipped on his knees, watching helplessly as the car and its headlights sped faster at his. It was happening all over again. Was this a memory this time, haunting him until his death? He did NOT want to relive this moment, of all things his mind could think of! It was enough that he had to live in terror of crossing streets, but now he had to relive it?! He did what he could do at this situation; he curled up, trying to brace for the impact as the roar of the engine could be heard. He shuddered as it grew to a fever pitch. He held his breath, ready to be knocked back into the real world.

It never came. He didn't slam into the metal and rubber bumper of the car, or get thrown over, under, or away from it with a cruel power, or get run over by the car. It rolled onward down the street like he wasn't even there. He never saw him in the middle of the road. It was like he wasn't even in a dream, or a memory. It was almost like he was a ghost trespassing on something sacred. It was spooking him more than usual. If this wasn't an actual dream, then what the hell was this?

* * *

The families swarmed into the waiting room of the back entrance once more, barely able to hold back excitement. The pure raw emotion was entirely palpable; you could walk into excitement, and then right into ecstatic happiness. They were finally awake, finally able to voice what they needed. They finally had a chance to fix and apologize what they did to hurt these boys. Roderich stood in the back of the group with Gilbert at his side.

"This feels wrong for me to be here…." Roderich said, looking out into the small crowd of the Vargas and Beilschimdts are they waited for the opportunity to go see their boys. He rubbed his hands together, trying to find some way to get passed the feeling of awkwardness. Gilbert wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pecking his cheek and sending both a flood of blood to their cheeks though it was obvious Gilbert didn't mind.

"It's okay. Friends are always welcome to the bunch when it involves Luddy and Feli" Gilbert explained. "Plus anyway, with ties to me, you've got instant access, Little Master"

Roderich smiled, and unconsciously snuggled into Gilbert's side. Maybe being this narcissist's boyfriend did have some perks. A camera shuddered behind Gil and Roddy's closed eyes, and soon they found themselves in front of the nurse-clad Elizabeta holding up her camera and smiling like the wicked witch of the west. Roddy's face grew an entirely new shade of red and rushed at her, trying to grab at the camera, to make sure those pictures never see the light of day or a developer. Gilbert though held him back and the families waiting laughed as Eliza held it over her head like a child.

"Relax, relax Roderich! I'm not posting these on Facebook or Twitter!" she claimed, setting the camera back around her via the strap. Roderich calmed, setting back into the embrace of Gilbert, who nuzzled his hair and sent another flood of blood to their faces. Why was Gil being so fucking affectionate now of all times? He thought this was about Ludwig and Feliciano waking up, not about his and Gilbert's flaring romance! The excitement from their relationship finally simmered down, and Elizabeta was back to work, ushering the gaggle of people down the hallway to see their awakened Sleeping Beauties. The walk grew silent, and they slowly followed. Francis and Antonio followed close to Arminius and Romulus, while The Italians and Gilbert and hiss add-on held up the rear. Elizabeta maneuvered through the empty hallways, running into a few people who graciously paved a way to let them pass. As they reached the main foyer once more, Iryna was waiting at the main desk, looking scared. Her eyes were hazed, looking like she was giving the thousand mile stare.

"Iryna, what's going on?" Elizabeta asked, worry slipping in to her voice. She knew the signs when this happened; hazed eyes, sweating more than usual, and standing in random places doing absolutely nothing. Usually, if her record kept up, Iryna panicked like this when something bad happened, like legitimately bad. This happened when the boys were first brought in, and all hell broke loose when Iryna almost perfectly predicted their arrival.

"I…I don't know. Something's wrong, but I can't tell what! My head…I keep getting images…"

The crowd was starting to get scared a little freaked out by this. They knew her reputation as a bit of a psychic, and they knew she practically predicted the boy's arrival. Elizabeta rushed over as Iryna groaned and clutched her head. She could barely open her eyes, and when she did there were pure white; her eyes had started to roll back into her head. She did not fall to the ground, or start to slowly die or anything; she just stood there with her eyes seeing nothing. Slowly, they rolled back forward, and she let out an uneven sigh.

"Ludwig…it has to do with Ludwig…"

"ELIZA!"

Lili was rushing up from the end of the hallway, red in the face. Eliza turned quickly, grabbing her arm. The families were started now to freak out. Lovino was barely being held back by Antonio as he tried to sprint to their secluded wing.

"Ludwig, he won't wake up! I found him slumped up against Feli's chairs and he just won't move" Lili gasped out, trying to catch her sporadic breath. Elizabeta stared wide-eyed at the people around her, and Arminius shot off, running in the direction of Ludwig's room. He knew…he knew what was happening. This had happened before, so long ago. Almost instantly, Arminius was followed, the nurses heading the following group. It was now a mad dash to the rooms. Arminius didn't even check in Ludwig's actual room, because he knew if he was awake, he would be by Feli. He nearly slammed the door open, and immediately woke up Feli, who looked at him with fright. Just as Arminius sunk to the ground next to Ludwig, Feli jumped up with a growl of pain and fell to his knees next to him as well, holding one side of his head like a glass vase. Arminius cracked open one of Ludwig's closed eyelid, and watched as the eyes swam around in complete confusion. He let it snap shut once more, and huddled him close to his chest, feeling the tremors seize him already.

"Arminius, what's going on?!" Feli yelled, tears falling down his face. Romulus and his family, including Gilbert, swarmed into the room, but stopped as they saw Feliciano in tears, holding his hands out to whatever was propped up in Arminius' arms. When they saw Ludwig's head loll back, peaking over Arminius' arms, Gilbert almost lost it, but was held back by Elizabeta and Roderich who had wormed their way inside. Time stood still, and Arminius looked up to the awaiting crowd. He slowly propped Ludwig's head back up on his shoulder.

"We just have to wait…"

"Wait for what?!" Feli shouted, watching as Ludwig's entire frame shuddered. Arminius looked down at Ludwig, and then to Feli, ignoring the family members behind him.

"Wait for him to get himself out…."

* * *

Ludwig fell to the ground again. His ankle was throbbing harder with this one, and he could barely get up again. He tried to keep a hold of a large burn on his arm, but had to focus on re-balancing himself in the rain. He finally stood up with a groan, and continued onward in what seemed like nothing. He tried to stare out into the impenetrable rain, but had to squint to keep the rain from blocking his vision anymore. He hissed once more as he fingers slipped on his burn, the rain biting it like a fresh meal. It didn't matter anymore, it was starting to cool. He walked with his limp, trying to keep his twisted ankle from getting any worse.

This…this thing had gotten even more worst then almost getting ran over by a speeding car and nearly shitting his pants. No, he had fallen like a rock on the ground when he tried to dodge cars as they roared by, splashing him until he was soaked to the bone, and twisted his ankle bad. Then another lightning bolt strike hit near him, sending a flying piece of metal into his arm, burning a good chunk of it off. He never found the metal or the skin on his arm. It was now raw and probably fell twice more before cars finally stopped coming down the road, leaving him to deal with his injures and the deathly silence and the bitter cold. He hated it already, scared completely out of his wits, not thinking straight. It was the janitor's closet all over again, except maybe in this dream-thingy he would die of hypothermia instead of getting high off of paint and ammonia. He hated this so much, it was cold and still raining and nothing was in sight, and he was lost and…

Suddenly a building with bright lights finally came into view through the haze and rain. He let out a laugh, and limped his way toward it, just glad that he wasn't in a wasteland where he would be wandering for miles until he dropped dead and hopefully got out of this nightmare of a dream-thingy.

He walked past a couple of illuminated trees, hissing as the pine needles dragged over his arm. He gripped the raw patch of muscle, and squirmed through. His feet finally met solid pavement, and he let out a happy laugh. He looked up at the building, and then everything happy sank and shrank away. He stared up at it in disbelief.

The building, made up entirely of brick, metal, and electric fence buzzing with life, sported a sign hanging both from a post on his left and straight above the main heavy iron cast doors, guarded by heavily armed men that both possibly could be bodybuilders. The carried heavy assault rifles, keeping their eyes trained to the road behind him, which roared once more with the sound of tires trying to keep on the road and heavy engines. Guards stood at attention on the top floor, walking back and forth with sights toward the inside of the building. Spot lights scanned the area around the building, the light passing through him without stopping. He watched guard at the top switch posts like it was usual clockwork, a few shallow laughs passed between the men. He finally read the sign, and fell to his knees.

'Personify County Penitentiary and Jail'

The town's prison….why would he be here, of all god-forsaken places. This horrible building, which tripled as a County Jail, Mental Penitentiary, and Insane Asylum, was for those who were on the darkest edges of society in town. Those completely mentally gone, too dangerous to let roam around, and those declared 'insane and out of their minds' were put here for either rehabilitation or just to be kept out of society. It also was once a reform school for those who were deemed 'stupid and did not learn enough to pass the grade'. He remembered the one time, ONE time, he was sent here one summer to make up for the fourth grade because he was plagued by bullies and failed a few classes. Arminius fought with the school board up one side and down the other for so long, but lost. The bus ride to this dark corner of town scared him almost into peeing his pants. The boys and girls that were also on the bus were older and bigger than him. Only a few of them were in his grade, so he had to learn from a higher learning point, and even with his slightly advanced learning curve, he still had trouble keeping up. The teacher chastised him when he couldn't answer, and the students tried to have their way with him. It was the grade school for criminals, delinquents, and rapists. It was torture, and he came home mentally and physically scarred. This was where he learned to cut, and did it to escape the humility of being so young and being in reform school.

Even now, in the pouring rain, he could see students beating him up for just being who he was. They wanted to make sure he got the point through his little, demented mind, that he was not free or safe here in the land of future inhabitants. They sneered at him, his illusions, until a rumble of thunder washed them away into the rain, banishing them away as Ludwig looked up into the sky.

Lightning decorated the sky in white and yellow cracks, streaking the sky as if it were to crack out of its dark cover. It illuminated the entire facility, shocking a few wary guards into jumping a bit. They were promptly slapped by fellow guardsmen. One then started to shout, and soon the entire facility was in disarray, alarms going off and spotlights swinging around the inside of the facility. Smoke slowly rose up from the middle. The air smelled of sulfur. He could hear people behind the walls wail and scream, and could see licks of flames raise up into the sky.

"What is going on…." He whispered, watching as the Jail was scrambling to control the blaze from inside. An explosion went off, shock-waving out and hitting Ludwig hard into the ground, slapping his head powerfully to the concrete. His vision blacked out, and soon the only sounds he could hear were the rain, and lightning as it chained together, and struck down to Earth once more. Before it all was taken away in a flash of white, he could hear someone running his way, but it turned to static before he could make out who was walking. He was out of it, and then as his mind finally ventured on its own, he knew what that was.

When he woke up to Feli's crying, Arminius's heartbeat in his ears, and a crowd of other voices bombarding his ears, he tried to keep himself calm, trying to not reveal what he had just saw. He didn't know WHAT it was now, but it was something. He had another vision.

* * *

When Ludwig's eyes finally opened, and the tremors finally ceased, the crowded room's occupants laughed out thanks that he did wake. Arminius brushed a piece of his bangs back away from his face, and he smiled weakly up at him, and sat up, bracing himself on the old man's knee. Romulus came up beside Arminius, looking between Ludwig and Feliciano, and smiled. Feli had his hand curled around Ludwig's, and both boys watching the older Italian with interest. Arminius was slightly blushing as he watched him as well. The others behind them watched in heated anticipation.

"It's ok, Feli. I accept this in full now" Feli watched in tears as Romulus put a hand on Ludwig's shoulder, and smiled wide.

"You better take good care of my grandson, Ludwig. If you can live up to your reputation, I'll survive" With that, Ludwig smiled and slowly stood up, Feli helping him up by acting as a brace. Elizabeta hooted and hollered, followed by Lili and Iryna. Gilbert hugged his brother in a whirl of movement, and Ludwig was caught completely by surprise. Feli was hugged by his brothers, crying out as he finally got accepted. Iryna hugged Ludwig as well, seeing that both had a history, and Ludwig was rather glad that she did. It would be a fun explanation when they watched him kiss her cheek like a little kid. The faces of the entire room were hilarious, and conveniently recorded by Roderich, of all people. As Arminius started to make his way through the crowd to take his family home, Romulus let out an announcement that sent Ludwig's heart through several complex gymnastic spins that were worthy of the Olympics.

"Feliciano could stay with you Arminius, if he chooses. I won't stop him, but I'll be close, just in case"

Feli screeched like an overexcited schoolgirl going out with the hottest boy in school, jumping on the heels of his feet, giddy at his grandfather's flexibility. He hugged Romulus first, pecking his cheeks before launching into the awaiting arms of Ludwig. Both boys laughed happily, twirling around in a little circle, not giving a single fuck if the crowd around them witnessed the embarrassing display. Soon, Feli was back on the ground, joined at the lips with his boyfriend. That sent the small gathering into a cheering fit. Eliza and Lili leaned in close, whispering about the incredible moment and happy for the entire bonding of these families. Gilbert and Roderich snuggled into one another as the boys pulled away with bright smiles. Then Arminius gave his own announcement.

"Now let's get you guys home"

* * *

In the next hour, preparations and packing had commenced. Plans were mapped out and started, and smiles spread over everyone's face. Romulus and the Vargas family, excluding Feli, would be moving out and moving into the vacant home across the street from the Beilschmidt's current home. They agreed to in honor to honor Romulus' promise: to let Feliciano live with Ludwig and his family. They of course would check in time to time, maybe just come over for the hell of it to enjoy the time with them. The old family bond between these families was growing again.

As the last of Feli's bag were moved back into his room a day later, Ludwig caught him from behind, causing the smaller male to squeal as he was twirled around, and finally pressed into a kiss, one hand curling into Ludwig's soft hair. As they broke apart, Ludwig kept a hand glued to Feli's hip, and smiled at him gleefully.

Before returning home, the bandages were removed and the scars they wanted gone were removed. Feli's neck was now clear of any mark from the attempt. Though, if Ludwig looked in the right light, a very thin white outline of its original place could be seen. Ludwig decided the moment it was brought up that the scar on his leg would be removed, as well as a few minor ones on his upper torso. There were a few he left on his chest, for safekeeping and for Feliciano. He had kept one right over his heart, a thin, semi-ragged one from an accident at the reform school when a large boy from middle school, 7th grade, tried to shank him when he accused him of cheating on the easiest test of the term. He rubbed it for good luck when he had tests. Both of them however kept the scars on their wrists. Even now as they hugged in front of the windows for the neighborhood to see, the crisscrossing lines of previous and recent cutting scars in bright light were seen. They kept one hand tied together, the wrists of said hands pressed together.

The scars seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces meant for each other.


	10. Decoding the Beginning Flames

**-Chapter Inspired by 'Let the Flames Begin' and 'Decode' by Paramore-**

* * *

The situation was getting worse. His dreams plagued him every night, replaying it again and again and again, that same memory until he nearly launched himself out of his bed and into the walls. If he didn't wake up violently, he would wake up in mad cold sweats, barely able to keep his mind at ease. He would end up right outside Feliciano's door until the sound of the his boyfriend's breathing lulled him close to sleep, and he would slink back into his room to fight the war of his mind again, and most of the time it was unsuccessful. He often wondered why he didn't just go into Feliciano's room and sleep away his terrors there, but then he would realize why. He would still wake up a lot of the time with force, unable to control his feet for a few moments. Even now, as he sat upright in his bed, gripping his soaked shirt and trying to block out threatening tears, he didn't know why he didn't talk about it. He didn't know why he kept secrets bottled up like this until he started to hurt himself.

Ever since the second vision of his life, it's been plaguing him. The connections with his past, and the entire selection of theories and possibilities his mind thought up about it were slowly leaking into everyday life. In almost every dark corner, he could see the faces of the guards, outlined in flames and smoke, staring at him with disgusted sneers. He could smell smoke every time he entered brick buildings, and now he grew completely freaked out when it rained. He's tried time after time to figure out what it meant, what it was telling him. It didn't seem to make any sense at all that he would see that event. Why did it have to do with him and his old home of torture? Why was it raining, why did it go up in smoke? What did the lightning get attracted to in the facility, why the massive shockwave?

What was running toward him at the very end?

He roared out silently, pressing his knees up to his chest, clawing into his head with dagger-like fingers. This was slowly rotting out his mind. If he didn't figure out what the fuck it was, he will drive himself off the mental edge once again. He hated having his mind fucked with. It was enough that he had to go through it as a young child, continuously forced to replay the vision of him almost getting ran over by a car. He still remembered the accident, but he really didn't. It was a blur and everything behind it besides very small snippets of memory were dark and missing. All he remembered in his childhood besides the bullying was seeing the headlights, hearing the tires, trying to run and then waking up in the hospital. His entire life from the early fourth grade and back was erased via a car bumper.

He heard his door creak open. He looked up to find Arminius closing the door behind his back.

"Ludwig…"

Luddy gave a silent nod, barely a lift of his chin. Arminius walked over to his side, sitting on the bed. He looked at Ludwig with worry. Ludwig looked at him like a little child again.

"What happened….in Italy's hospital room? What did you see?"

Ludwig looked at Arminius, flabbergasted. How dare he just shove at it like it was nothing, like it was just another thing? He didn't sound worried, or helpful! He was just trying to find out again, to shove it in his face like he did the last time. He huffed out a sigh, and turned his head the other way, refusing to make any sort of eye contact.

"Nothing, I saw nothing. It was just a bad dream. It wasn't a repeat of last time" he said roughly.

Arminius sighed, tugging on one of his shoulders. Ludwig reluctantly looked at him again, hugging his knees closer.

"We both know that's a lie. What did you…"

"NOTHING, ALRIGHT?!" Arminius back up as Ludwig's face grew red in anger. Said German uncurled from a ball, and stood tall on his floor, shouting over his shoulder as he walked-raged over to the other side of the room.

"I SAW NOTHING, because that's what I can make up of it! Nothing! It was just a fucking fluke that something happened, and it doesn't make sense! I've been trying and trying my hardest to find connections, to find reason behind it, but it's like fucking scrabble! Nothing matches up! For two solid goddamned weeks I've been dreaming and daydreaming and thinking about it, trying not to drive myself mad with trying to decipher it!

It's rotting me from the inside, Arminius! Why do you think I'm sleeping now in the middle of the day?! First it shows me almost get hit another fucking car, well I really didn't that that's beside the point, and it's fucking soaking wet and cold, and then the building, THE BUILDING! HA! It must of just been a way to fuck with my head like LAST TIME! IT WON'T GO AWAY! I'm so sick and tired and exhausted from it! Nothing makes sense and I've been faking happiness and innocence because I didn't want to upset Feli! He deserves to be happy, not worried that I'm losing my mind like I am RIGHT NOW TELLING YOU ALL OF THIS!"

Arminius stood frozen on the other side of Ludwig's bed, watching as his face grew redder and brighter, and his breathing becoming erratic. He was stressed, and desperate. It was a reliving of his past all over again, truly it was. He paced for a bit before turning sharply in Arminius' direction, then walking up to his desk and slamming his hands down with a loud bang. He pointed at Arminius and continued on with the rant.

"AND YOU'RE JUST REPEATING LIFE BY BEING IN HERE! You're going to listen to my crazy, made-up fairytale like last time, and push to the side and LET ME ROT IN SOME PSYCHOLOGIST'S OFFICE TRYING TO CONVINCE ANOTHER DEAF ADULT THAT WHAT I SAW WAS REAL. Maybe this time it could happen again, for real! I could just be wandering around, and get hit by ANOTHER CAR! I could lose my memories again, and that would kill Feli! Feli, god dammit! What am I going to do with him? I can't tell him because it would get him worried, and I could hurt him with the insanity of this, and I don't! But I'm so fucking worried that this INVOLVES HIM! What if he gets hurt, or gets run over?!

And what if the Jail has to do with something? What if one of us ends up there? Maybe one of us kills someone, and then we end up in smoke and ash! What If I have to watch as Feli BURNS?! God dammit, STOP IT!"

"Ludwig, CALM DOW-"

"YOU CALM DOWN, OLD MAN!" Ludwig roared at him walking away from his bed and chucking a pencil at him, lodging the flying weapon in the bookcase behind him a few yards away, way off its mark. "I'M TRYING TO THINK! You're just standing there, watching me melt down and freak the fuck out over NOTHING LIKES IT REALLY IS NOTHING! Well, let me tell YOU, IT'S NOT!"

"I know that Ludwig, god dammit! RELAX FOR A GODDAMN SECOND! I CAN help you through this like I did last time, face-to-face-" Arminius roared back, stomping up near him. Ludwig backed up, and continued shouting at him and pacing around.

"THEN YOU TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHY THIS VISION ENDED WITH THE PERSONIFY PENITENTIARY AND JAIL GOING UP IN FLAMES?! TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHY I WAS NEAR THAT HELLHOLE! I need to SO badly, that's my problem?! Why I am TELLING YOU!? It was there, and I could remember the disgusting summer where I was almost raped and shanked to death and to add to the shit, bullied up one wall, thrown to another and bullied up THAT ONE! LITERALLY, did I ever tell you THAT?! Maybe so, but you DIDN'T LISTEN, or you FORGOT?"

Arminius started to speak again, trying to get Ludwig to come back down to Earth, to speak with some sort of sense. Ludwig had dove off that deep end, convinced that he didn't get any relief, or wasn't supported, but always bullied and left alone to rot in his torture chambers. Arminius wanted to get his Ludwig back, but he dismissed him off with a wave of a hand.

"You know what, FUCK IT. There's no point staying here and telling you this shit, because you've never cared! I'm going out, and you're not stopping me even if you fucking shoot my ass. I'm DONE!"

Ludwig stomped out of the room, growling as he went past Arminius, who called after him with no luck. Every time Ludwig's name passed through Arminius' lips, Ludwig shouted 'Fuck off' in rebuttal. He DID NOT want to be interrogated, he did NOT want to be helped, and he did not need anyone breathing down his neck. He wanted to be alone and surrounded by silence to figure this the fuck out. He never needed help, because anytime they send him somewhere for 'help' he came back none the better. He stomped down the stairs, spotting Gilbert as he raced through the front door with his usual goofy smile on his face. Why was he happy? He needed to be happy, he had Feli back. He had his life back, but NO. This goddamn vision had to FUCK with his head! Gilbert noticed him and gave him a wave. He got a growl and the finger back as Ludwig slammed the backdoor open and left it there as he went into the wide backyard leading into the forest.

Gilbert stood stunned in the foyer, watching the disappearing figure of his younger brother. He blinked once, twice before Arminius joined him in watching Ludwig from the house, watching him kick out at a tree, sending pine cones falling around him in a bit of halo, one conking him in the head. He yelled out, grabbed the pine cone, and chucked it at the backdoor. It sailed into the house, and barely missed Gilbert as he dodged the flying projectile.

"Is it because of…." Gilbert looked down at the pine cone, picking it up and noticing the dents in it, and the missing pieces. Arminius nodded in a silent confirmation. Gilbert sighed in sorrow, until he noticed someone coming out of the woods, and let his eyes widen in alarm.

"Feli's back…."

* * *

Feliciano silently crept out of the woods, small satchel in arms. His usual smile was planted on his face, cheeks dusted pink from the hike up the sloping hills behind him. It was Saturday, so he went to the local stream and just sat on the banks and sketched the things around in the woods. It really was a near paradise here; he could draw or paint anything. There was so much to use as subjects. He silently pulled a branch from the ground, swinging around like a sword, jabbing at another tree. The weekends were always fun.

Ever since returning to his 'home', life was back to what he wanted it to be. Ludwig and himself were growing closer, going out on small, semi-romantic dates ever so often, stealing kisses in the night, and enjoying life together. He was back at calling Arminius 'nonno', and now was starting to call Gilbert his 'brother'. Even more so, he was learning a bit of German, since the fights that broke out rarely were almost all in German, he took up the task to learn the language. Ludwig was helping him, and in exchange he learned some Italian. It was really cute when Ludwig's slight accent made his Italian sound a bit chopped, but he loved it forever when he said he loved him in Italian. He could only guess what Ludwig felt when he said the three little words in German.

"Ich liebe dich" Feli whispered in the air. He giggled as he turned to the open expanse of the yard, and whispered it again, just under his breath. He didn't know why, but saying it made him comfortable. He spotted, not far from the only other gaggle of trees in the actual yard, Ludwig, who looked like he was nervously pacing. Feli let out a sigh, tugging his satchel full of art supplies and sketches, and started his way toward Ludwig. He hated that fear started to fill him as he grew closer.

For about two weeks, Ludwig had become rather….different. He would freak out at random times, looking out the window and watching cars pass the house, throwing himself away from the window and back into his seat when a blue car would pass. He would spend nights just tossing and turning, unable to sleep fully. He knew that Ludwig would sit out front of his door a lot of nights, trying to lull himself to sleep. He never however went inside his room to talk to him, or cuddle with him anymore. It was, if he had his day's right, day five without any relationship stuff with him. He stayed in his room, went to school, feared crossing the road more so than usual, and freaked out in heavy lightning storms or really any rain storm. He was becoming something else, controlled by fear and pressure. Feli had begun to think of doubts, of some reason behind the pressure that seemed to control him.

As he grew in range of seeing his face, Ludwig had simply stopped pacing, and leaned up against the tree, picking absently at a pinecone in his hand. He didn't look well to Feli. Parts of his hair were thrown askew from its slicked-back style, framing his face in an odd-yet-alluring way. His eyes looked bloodshot almost, and his face was dusted an odd shade of red. He kept his vision trained on the pinecone, picking away the protective skin with ferocity. Feli came up silently, and leaned on the other side of the tree. He peeked over his shoulder, and finally spoke.

"Hi there Luddy"

Ludwig twisted against the tree, staring at him with intense eyes. His eyes really were a bit bloodshot. Feli stared back into them, innocence bubbling in them. Ludwig did not respond, did not do anything to say hi back. He instead growled and turned back, bracing himself from it and walking away. Feli stood there flabbergasted himself. Ludwig was ignoring him now? He huffed and started to stomp toward him, a childish angry facial expression on his face.

"Ludwig, stop! Why aren't you-"

Ludwig turned his head sharply over one shoulder, face growing red. His voice rose over every sound Feli could hear, shutting him up and tearing him apart.

"What!? WHAT do you want! I'm trying to get myself together, and YOU have to come in all sunshine and shit to HELP?! What is wrong with you!?"

Ludwig then turned his body halfway, pointing an accusing index finger at Feliciano, who stood frozen in his place, staring with wide eyes starting to brim with tears.

"Why can't you fucking GET IT, you…you. Gah, I don't CARE what you are, why can't you LEAVE ME ALONE!? I'm going off the deep end trying to KEEP YOU SAFE, and yet every time I get close YOU FUCK IT UP! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHI-" As Ludwig finally faced Feli completely, snapping his eyes open, he dropped his words like stones in the ocean.

Dead stop. Everything stopped dead as if it were frozen in ice. Arminius and Gilbert froze in the back screen door, watching as Ludwig verbally slapped Feli over the face with words he would never think of. Ludwig had drove off the edge, and crossed a line he would never forget, and never be able to forgive. It had done its damage; hit its mark with marksman accuracy. The demon now festering inside Ludwig laughed as the tears fell down Feli's quaking frame, his face turning red in embarrassment and disbelief. The tears fell down quickly in great streams, the sketchbook in his satchel falling without notice. Ludwig froze mid-point, watching as he scarred his best friend, his boyfriend, the only fucking person to live in perfect harmony with him, cry and break down over rage-filled words he would regret for a lifetime.

He drew back a hand, covering his mouth. Feli sniffled hard twice, before taking a step back. He then pivoted an ankle, and bolted away from the world, from Ludwig, with an arm covering his face. Ludwig barely had time to unfreeze, trying to race after the faster male. He called out for him repeatedly, tears streaking behind him as he watched Feli disappear down the street sobbing with no ends. Ludwig stopped after a few more steps, and slammed down to his knees, his arms bracing him in an arch. He crossed the line, he had ruined everything. He let his anger and confusion and despair get the best of him, and he paid the ultimate price. He paid the price he never wanted to, because now he set them down a road of no return, of no redo. He had pushed away his grandfather's help and now…

He pushed away his happiness because he snapped. The tears fell on to the ground between his hands, slowly forming a puddle in which he watched his face contort in despair once more. It was an ugly look, not much better than the raging one he had on earlier. He screamed out, pounding the ground, cursing himself to high hell. He pushed his elbows to the ground, setting his forehead to the puddle, feeling the forming mud press on his forehead. He didn't care if he got muddy. He didn't fucking care if something happened to him right now. Slowly, he could feel rain start to splatter on his back, soaking him. He still didn't care. He wouldn't care if he was struck by lightning.

He just wanted a reset button so he could have his Feliciano back.

* * *

The rest of the day was dark and depressive. During the storm, as lightning chained together outside the window, Feli came home soaked to the bone, face still flushed red. Ludwig watched the window, letting the lightning flash in his eyes. He wasn't freaking out, Feli noticed before his own grief swallowed him again. As Ludwig turned, and looked at Feli, the Italian lowered his eyes and walked up the stairs silently, making eye contact only when he reached the stairs.

Ludwig quickly followed the retreating figure, tears building up again. Gilbert and Arminius watched painfully from the kitchen, both men nursing beers in one hand. Gil picked up his phone, and noticed the late time. He showed it to Arminius, and both men sighed in defeat. They took another swig of their beers.

"What do we do, Army?" Gilbert said softly.

"We can't do anything, Gil. We have to let it take its course" Arminius said in response, taking an extra sip of beer. He would need it.

As Ludwig followed quickly, and only succeeded in getting a door slammed in his face, he called out to Feli, who refused to open the door. Feli continued to deny access through an hour of protest, until Ludwig broke down once more, kneeling on both knees and lying on his side on the door, sobbing out incoherent words, only able to form a few sentences at a time. His tears were silent this time.

"Please, Feli…." He was given no answer, but a soft snore echoed in the ear pressed to the door. Feli had fallen asleep as Ludwig tried to explain. He let out a soft sob, and curled up propped against the door. He let his tears-filled eyes shutter close, and felt the cold embrace of sleep wrap around him. He didn't like the feel, but loved it at the same time. It was his only friend now, and now he walked through his mental blank slate without Feli's eye's leading him through. He wandered until he sat down silently, curling up in a ball and driving the dreams away. His sleep was dark and without dreams.

When dawn finally rose, no one would notice that both Feli and Ludwig fell asleep on that door, each boy on one side with tears in their eyes.

* * *

Sunday passed with awkward meetings, another dose of silence and sadness, and Ludwig dragging himself out to get fresh air. His mind was straight and clear from the horror of trying to figure out the dream. It didn't wander in his mind like a ping-pong ball. Only as he walked through the park, watching the sinking sun through the trees, looking down at his hand as orange and yellow light rippled like waves over his sink, did he really start to think about what to do now that he ruined his life by snapping at his love.

He wouldn't go to the extremes and hurt himself again. He knew that if he did, Feli would quickly follow and all would be lost. He's tried apologizing, trying to get him the truth, but Feli was pushing him back. His only hope now was to see what would happen now and just hope that he could admit his wrongs to Feli.

He walked home in silence, and only patted Feli's shoulder as he disappeared into his room and did not come back out for any reason. Feli was left confused as he tried to get him out. He as well did not leave his room the rest of the day.

Monday came along, and the three boys set off for school. Gilbert munched on his usual lightly burnt toast, while Ludwig and Feli walked with only a bit of toast from earlier. They weren't that hungry anymore. Gilbert trailed behind them, letting the boys hover oddly next to each other. Feli peeked at Ludwig before they enter school ground, and let his hand waver over Ludwig's' brushing their fingers together. Ludwig blushed immediately and bolted away, tugging one side of his backpack back onto the shoulder. Feli though turned right, walking to the terraces now covered with spring vines. Antonio and Francis stood in waiting in one of them, and welcomed Feli inside the tree-shaded home. They watched as Ludwig hovered near a few students in the courtyard.

"What's going on, Feli?" Antonio asked after a brief moment of silence, noting the distance between the two. Feli looked at Ludwig as he stood next to his new friends, and watched as Ludwig made eye contact, only to smile very weakly, and turn into the school. Before Francis could ask the same thing, Feli swallowed down his pride, and voiced his fear.

"I…..I think Ludwig's cheating on me"


	11. It's The Good that Causes Pain

_**Alrightly, enough of the horrible feels. I know I hurt you all with the last one, but I hope this helps...a bit. May or may not, depending. Here it is though!**_

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'The Good Thing That Hurts (****Le Bien qui fait Mal) by ****Mozart l'Opéra Rock-**_

* * *

The school day was forgotten by Feliciano, Antonio and Francis for a while, as they tried to get Feli's reasoning for his fear to voice. He was rather resistant; tearing up and shutting down when sensitive subjects came up. Feli truly was scared that Ludwig was cheating on him. It was his only explanation for his stress, and for him snapping. He was completely stressed out for keeping it a secret, Feli's theory told, that it started to drive him off the edge a bit, and then snapped at him when it was too much. Plus he also explained that it matched up with Ludwig claim of 'trying to protect him'. He also told them about the randomness of his actions recently. Francis though was skeptical.

"Why thunderstorms though? It seems completely out of the loop of him cheating. Plus he doesn't seem to be the type to be spooked by lightning and thunder?"

Feli shrugged, unable to explain himself. "I don't know. Maybe it just happened? We have been getting a lot of storms recently"

"It just doesn't sound right and the car thing, what about that? And why blue cars?"

Feli didn't skip a beat before answering. "Maybe whoever he's going out with drives a blue car, and is afraid to see him or her pull up with me there. Maybe he's afraid of him or her, and when he sees them get near he tries to run? I don't know, maybe he's just changed and is abandoning me!"

Somewhere within the school, the bells started to ring, signaling second period. Antonio looked at the school, and his smile contorted into a bit of fear. He turned to the chatting boys and excused himself, claiming that if he missed second period History again, he was going to be pushed back a grade. He ran off quickly, almost forgetting his book bag in his haste. As he swore a few words in Spanish, and proceeded to almost run into a tree face-first, Feli and Francis were in talks once more.

"Feli, it just doesn't seem right or true! Ludwig would not be the person to go cheat on you, such a beautiful and talented boy! Besides, it's hard to think that Ludwig wasn't gay. There aren't really any boys here that would be gay. It just doesn't add up"

Feli was silent for a moment, looking out to the crowding up courtyard across the main building entrance. Students were carrying brown bag lunches, some with colorful bags bought from stores. Students with the money to buy lunch here carried out school lunches on hard plastic trays. The school was kind enough to use a system some new school on the west coast used, and offered a wide variety of foods from outside sources like Papa John's pizza and P.F Chang's Chinese food. There were whole assortments of other foods, just valued over a few dollars. Lunches were a simple price, anything extra was well extra. Feli could make out the bodies of Lovino and Antonio, who were sitting near one of the terraces within the courtyard. Lovino was starting to thrash around a bit, so either he was angry at Antonio, or Antonio tried to pull a move on him.

He watched with intensity as Ludwig stepped into visual range, without a lunch. He walked a ways away from the action of the other students, some who smiled at him and said hi. He returned them in what looked like a half-hearted fashion, and found his end right under a large weeping willow. He slowly set himself up against the bark of the tree, closing his eyes. He looked peaceful and relaxed, until his face started to scrunch up, his brows knitting together.

Feli sighed, and returned to facing Francis. He put his hands together and set them in his lap, head pointed downward. Tears started to slowly build up in his eyes.

"I'm just worried so much, Francis. He hasn't done anything with me, or showed he cared. He hasn't even held my hand or told me he loved me in almost a week. I don't want to lose him; we've been through too much.

"I-I…..I don't want to let go, Francis….I've let go too many times now"

Feli broke down, sobbing silently into his hands. This was getting hard to deal with. His head was always trying to figure out why Ludwig was getting distant, backing away from him. He had done the research, just on a suspension, and when he found out he was devastated. Could Ludwig really be cheating on him? He didn't know surely, but the possibility was a large one. He had pondered the other reasons. He had thought it was something involving him blacking out in the hospital, but it seems too far-fetched, too impossible. He ventured almost all of his scenarios, every possibility to find out about it. It was starting to hurt him. Francis, who was forever a pity on broken romance or any sort of romance or distress from his friends, enveloped Feliciano in a short but needed hug, then pulled his hands into his, keeping the saddened man's head facing his.

"Now listen here Feliciano. In my short lifetime of falling and dropping out of love, and watching all go on without a care, I can personally say do not worry about it, alright? Ludwig is a loyal, miracle of a man that may come around once in a rare generation.

"He is probably the only one who can directly relate to the horrors you have faced your entire live, and has a tale to be told. He would NOT give up this one chance at happiness, not for money or power if even a chance to change his past. He has found his life in you, Feliciano. Before he met you, he was a hollow of a man, trying to cover his insecurities and past with a plastic face and lies made of glass. When he met and fell in love with you, he found life again.

"You just have to trust in him and yourself that Ludwig will never give you up, because honestly, you're a rare diamond in the rough. Your personality shines more than your looks, giving both a brightness unmatched. He needs you more than he think, more than anyone of us thinks. He has fallen and fallen so far and gone through enough to kill himself so many times over, and you have brought him out of the pit he had dug himself. A mad man with no mind left would throw this chance away. Trust me in this: he would NEVER cheat on you, because you're the reason he fights the past's scars"

Feli sat stunned. He was beyond speechless; he was mystified by the words Francis spoke with such passion and intensity. Francis was always a passionate person; always believing in love anywhere you went, whether if it was a rich man or a poor man in a box. He always believed love could be found in anyone, anywhere. Sexuality never stopped this man. He was a voice for those scarred by society for their love. He was like an older brother to him, keeping him up and helping him when the bullies came for him. He was there for anyone with broken hearts, or healing ones. Feliciano sat amazed, tears falling silently. Francis softly wiped them away with a handkerchief he had tucked into his pocket, and told hold of one of his cheeks, smiling gently.

"Donne tes larmes [Let tears flow], Feliciano. It's okay to. Just remember that when you doubt him. He will never give up such a jewel for a fake one any day, because it will break and leave him, while you….you have survived blow after blow, and here you stand, maybe with a few cracks, but you stand proud and beautiful. Any person would kill to be with you, and Ludwig would defend you to the ends of the Earth to keep you"

Feliciano sniffled, his tears continuing to fall. Francis had succeeded in opening his closed heart with his kind words. When Francis needed to, he became a poet and a healer, speaking with intensity and passion that could heal those in need. He seemed to be, at times, the complete opposite of how people stake him out as. In truth, he was a passionate, all-loving Frenchman who came to the aid of any with relationship or love issues. He was never a man to force things on to others, as some have been told. He could probably be the Einstein of Love, rivaling only Cupid in a sense. He handed Feli the handkerchief, and let him pat away his tears, smiling coyly behind the white cloth. Francis chuckled as Feli looked out once more to the courtyard, watching as Ludwig retreated inside to the building as the bell rang.

"I'll remember, fratello," Feli said, standing up from his seat. Francis leaned back in his, watching as Feli turned to him once more with a soft, cute smile.

"Grazie, Francis. Don't forget yourself that you're a perfect diamond in the rough as well. You deserve to be happy too"

Feli started his trek away from the terrace and out of school, backpack hung over one shoulder. His conscious was clear now. Francis' words rang loud and true in his head as he snuck under the hole of the gates, shimmying out as his knees crossed under the metal bars. He needed to get a few things done, so why the hell would he stay in school? He looked back once more to Francis, and waved goodbye before sprinting into the direction of town.

Francis waved back as he watched Feli run. It was nice that he could help him, since he had failed to do so for a few years. It hurt him as he watched Feli grow depressed and alone when his bully problems had grown apocalyptic. He wanted to help, and helped when he could even though he was schooled and lived in the other town. It just was good to know he could still make an impact for him. Plus he now had the benefit to know that Feli looked up to him like a brother. He curled his hands together, placing them just over his lips, and leaned back, smiling. Today was going to be a good day.

After a while of just reflecting and thinking, Francis departed from their sacred meeting ground and started his trek into the school. He did have to keep up with his studies, after all. Plus his Club, Heart Mended, was meeting up today and had a good list of clients to help with. He looked back once more, his eyes conjuring up the day he saw the two together, looking at each other as if the world spun around one another. He gave one more passing smile, and went inside.

He hoped that they would return to it once more.

* * *

Ludwig tried on concentrate on the final writing assignment he was doing for English. He had begun it perfectly, his sentences structured correctly, but now the rest of the paper blurred into messy blue and red lines, his eyes seeing symbols and things, Feli's face included. He could make out the words 'Personify' now, glaring at him near the top of the paper. He shook his head lightly, trying not to draw attention to himself struggling to keep a handle on reality. He looked up to the clock. It was the last period, thank god, and he only had ten minutes left. It also was a Friday, so he wouldn't have to worry about school tomorrow. He looked down at his paper, frustrated at it. The prompt for it was simple.

'Write about something dear to you. It could be anything or anyone. What you must do is predict what could happen with it/him/her. Due next week'

He tapped his pencil on his desk quickly, then looked at what he had written, noting its complete nonsense. It was just him trying to get words out, in structured form. The vision shuddered in his eyes, and he had an idea. He drew two new papers out of his bag, and started to write. Words and scenes showed themselves to him, and his writing increased. Paragraph after paragraph came down onto the paper, fueled by the horrors that haunted him. He looked up quickly as he wrote, and noticed that he had one minute left. He stopped his writing, ending finally at the fourth and final paragraph. He would edit and proofread it later. He shoved it into his binder, which went into his backpack and he was out of the door as the bell rang for their release.

The vision was invading him again, this time in full force; he had no outlet for it. He rushed down the hallways, only stopping at his locker to haphazardly shove his textbooks into it. He rushed out the back gate, slowing down his run when he reached the semi-crowded streets of the city. His breathing was too ragged for comfort, his head too clouded for normalcy. He gripped his pounding head, trying to force away the invading overlay of images in his eyes, and slowly wandered in the closest shop: the gelato shop. He looked around as calmly as he could muster and ordered a basic strawberry gelato. Until he heard the hitch in breathing, he thought he was clear, but he turned when he heard it and was met with the amber eyes he loved and missed dearly.

Feli was sitting in a booth, staring wide-eyed with a slowly-melting cioccolato all'arancia [chocolate orange] gelato cup in one hand, spoon with dripping delights in the other. Ludwig turned quickly to take his gelato, and sat opposite of his boyfriend, simply pushing the gelato in the middle and looking at Feli. Feli also pushed his gelato away and looked at him, rubbing the base of his right index finger on Ludwig's cheek.

"Feliciano, please let me-"

Ludwig did not get to explain via words, but through the way he did was through his lips which were now pressed against his loves. He almost wanted to kiss back greedily, start a fight for dominance, but they were in public, so that's a no-no. He simply kissed back sweetly, and met the other's eyes as they backed away. Feli chuckled softly, and pecked his lips before sinking back into his seat, smiling like a goofball as he picked up his gelato.

"I am sorry though, Feli" Ludwig said softly, picking up his forgotten gelato and taking a bite into it. The sweetness of it drove the sudden lightning in his head away. Feli was chomping carefree at his gelato, once again spotting his cheeks with the sweet desert. Ludwig, on cue as Feli set down his spoon and empty cup, licked away two spots near his mouth. Feli giggled and returned the favor with a small kiss on his cheek.

"Ludwig, can I ask you something?"

"Of course"

"If you were hiding something, would you tell me?"

Ludwig stopped shoveling his gelato, and simply put the spoon down. He let out a resigned sigh. He didn't know if he should tell or lie. No, never lie to him, just tell him now, he deserves the truth. He's here, finally talking and interacting with him, and he has a chance to right his wrongs. He looked Feli straight into the eyes, and took his hands into his, and spoke low.

"I would, and I have something to tell you now. I've….I've been having a hard time for a bit. It's been running me a bit off my head, and I've been under a lot of stress. It was the reason why I snapped at you….and Arminius"

Feli was suddenly tearing up, fearing the worst once more. Was this Ludwig's cruel way of beating around to bush to admit he was cheating on him? Ludwig started to freak a bit, and asked almost without breath why he was crying. Feli sniffled hard and placed their joined hands against his head.

"I-It's just that…that…you c-could be cheating…"

Ludwig looked at him, albeit hurt. He then tugged them out of the booth, out of the store, and into the wooden area of the local park, all the while, Feli watched with tears still falling, letting him tug him along. Both never thought of their abandoned snacks and the faces of the store's inhabitants; it never mattered. As they stopped under a huge weeping willow, Ludwig turned to him and pulled him a tight hug.

"Why in the world would I cheat on you? No, it's not because I'm dating someone behind your back, my god. I've just been focused on something that's got me a bit out of pace, alright? The day I cheat on you is the day I give up everything I have in this world that keeps me sane and alive. You're my world, Feliciano Vargas, and would never leave you for anyone else, because I value my happiness, the joy I can feel!

"You're the reason I'm here now, trying to convince you of something that shouldn't be talked about! For god's sake, Feli, I love you more than anything here, please believe me!"

Feli quickly hugged him back, sobbing opening into his chest now for a different reason. He curled his pinned arms around him, and press himself as close as possible to him. He cried tears of joy, of relief. Francis was right, and he would always be. Ludwig pressed him closer, planting a butterfly kiss on his neck. Both boys met once more at the lip, pouring every ounce of everything they could into it. Slowly, without either knowing, Feli was pressed up against the tree, the wind pushing their natural curtain around. Feli's hair softly waved into his face. Ludwig looked into his eyes with the happiest expression he had ever seen on his face, and slowly pressed his thumb on the corner of his smile. A tear built up on the finger, and he saw that Ludwig was tearing up, heavy tears falling without words down his red-lit face. Feli this time was worried. He began to fuss, but was silenced by Ludwig's lips.

"I'm not crying for nothing, mein liebe. I'm just happy that you forgive me, and that you understand. I almost thought I lost my light at the end of the tunnel, my future. I was so worried that I had lost it all just because I let the stress get the best of me."

Feliciano smiled wide, chuckling and softly kissing the tears away. Ludwig, even though his blush was giving him away, tried to protest. Both boys ended up happy and together again. They slowly made their way home, but they did not beat the sudden storm brewing, and the dark clouds dumped heavy rain on them. Ludwig shuddered. Foreboding rode all around him, but he shoved it away, too caught up in the afterglow of their make-up. They walked slowly from the park, until Feli complained that they were lost. How were they lost? Both tried to find a way through the storm, looking around but only saw the rain. The wind picked up hard, nearly blowing Feli's coat off. Ludwig in an act of chivalry took his off and gave it to him. He didn't mind it. They walked slowly down the pavement of the sidewalk, trying to find their way back home, until something tripped Feli, sending him into the ground with a cry.

"Feli!"

Feliciano had tripped on an extended tree root, and his ankle had twisted oddly. A twisted ankle, the rain…..Ludwig was starting to get worried. As he went to help him up, lightning struck along the sky, lighting up the entire path. Feli jumped in fear into his arms as both boys shook. It couldn't be this, please not like this!

Ludwig helped him up as the thunder resigned and they slowly started walking, Feli trying to walk-limp on his twisted ankle. This was getting worse. Another bolt of lightning shrieked down from the sky, lighting up their path. This wasn't a sidewalk anymore. They were smack dab in the middle of a road. How the hell did they end up here?!

Sudden headlights filled their vision, blinding them temporarily. Neons were the culprit, and Ludwig started to freak, to panic with everything he had. A car was heading toward them. It was going too fast, the driver distracted and unaware of them. Feli wouldn't be able to move fast enough to get away. They were trapped. Ludwig did not want to lose him here and now. He curled around Feli like a protective armor and tried to jump away from it, and was soon met with blackness as the car grew closer.

The last thing he could remember was the headlights in his eyes, the shine of metal and the shriek of tires and Feliciano as he dove once more in blackness he knew since childhood.

* * *

_**Told ya it may or may not help you with feels. *le sigh* The next chapters going to be fun! (I hope...maybe...)**_

_**Thanks for reading again!**_


	12. Lost Stand

_**I hurt you guys again...m'sorry...Well, this doesn't really help a lot, I needed a bit of a filler. I just hope you enjoy and I have to thank you all who have reviewed and favorited and followed this story. I'm glad you like it!**_

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'Final Stand' by HeroicPlights (Youtube), and 'Lost Cause' by Imagine Dragons-**_

* * *

Two times in a month. Two times the boys have entered the doors and sterile halls of the World Meeting Hospital, clinging to life. For the second time, Elizabeta and Iryna had to bear the burden of watching and helping with fixing them, making sure they survived. From what the ambulance paramedics could piece together when they found them at the scene, they were trying to walk home back from some park of the city, getting lost in the pelting rain storm that had started. Then they were hit by a car that had failed to pay attention to the road, and injured both badly. When they arrived, the entire center was up in panic, trying to deal with minor incidents with the rain and lightning, but when they were carted in to the emergency room, everyone's panic stopped, and all focus was on the boys. Even those who were bleeding kept themselves calm and collected, patching themselves up as best they could while the faculty dealt with the boys who now were struggling to stay awake.

The damage was rather extensive. From the difference in such damage, Ludwig must have token the hard end of it, possibly protecting Feliciano when the car hit them. Ludwig's injures were four cracked ribs, minor internal bleeding, and countless cuts and bruises, making him look like an abused pin cushion. Part of his face was also burned, and the nurses had to back up from the smell of burning flesh. Feliciano had his entire left arm cracked and chipped; his ribs bruised, and like Ludwig he was covered in cuts and bruises. As they were carted inside for emergency surgery, to try to identify the damage fully and hopefully fix it, the nurses were in charge of breaking the news, again. As the boys were about to be separated for their surgeries, Ludwig opened his eyes, and weakly called out for Feli. Both boys reached out weakly as they were separated. Doctors told them once they helped them, they could see each other again. For added measure, one of the doctors told Ludwig that they would survive no matter what and that they would make sure they were put in a joint room. The nurse organizing housing was off to do such in a flash.

Ultimately, the job for breaking the news went to Elizabeta and Iryna. Eliza got the Vargas family, Iryna the Beilschimdts. The moment the girls reached for the phones in the nurse's central hub, all went silent. Every nurse watched as the numbers were dialed, and the receivers pressed to their ears. It was late; they hoped that they would be awake. When Eliza got a connection, she could hear the commotion and decided that the families must be meeting together. She put her phone on speaker, and told Iryna to hang hers up. Eliza's hunch was right; the families were trying to calm themselves as Romulus answered.

"Eliza, why are you calling? Did something come up?" Romulus started scared, and that was rare. It only happened once before; you can guess when. Lovino and Arminius's voice could be heard clearly in the background, both horrified.

"Eliza, please tell me they're not there, PLEASE!" Lovino was shouting. Arminius was shouting something in German, and nobody in the nurse's center could translate. Elizabeta let a shudder of a breath out and spoke as clearly as she could conjure, rubbing her blood-spotted hands together.

"Guys….Ludwig and Feliciano were admitted to World Meeting earlier for injures….."

The world crashed around them through that phone. The entire group behind the other phone exploded and cried, raged and despaired on entirely new levels. It was a while before they had calmed down enough to speak rationally to Elizabeta, and it was Lili who answered them, obvious tears choking her words.

"Eliza, Iryna, anyone there….what happened?"

Both mentioned girls looked at each other. Suddenly, another phone rang across the room and the nurse standing closest to it answered it. She looked as if she saw the dead when she hung up, and ushered Iryna over to her, seeing that Eliza was manning the open phone line.

"E-Eliza?"

Iryna rushed over, and whispered into Elizabeta's ear. She choked down a cry, and let a whimper escape instead. She steadied herself before positioning herself to hover over the phone. She tried to keep her voice steadied as she spoke to the awaiting families.

"Feliciano and Ludwig were on their way home when they were hit by a car. The storm must have blinded them, and the driver wasn't paying attention. Ludwig took the brunt of the hit by shielding Feli. They're both currently in the O.R. for emergency surgery and won't be awake for some time. Guys, I'm so sorry. We had no clue what was happening until the rush for them came when they entered our ER doors. I'm so sorry…"

Elizabeta could say no more, and curled up in her own arms and cried. Iryna encircled her into her own and then spoke with some trouble to them.

"You guys, please don't come here"

"WHY NOT!?" Romano was pissed, livid at such a sentence. They could hear something shattering and someone letting loose curses in the background of the call.

"Because right now they're in surgery and are in no position to see you guys! In addition to that, the storm has us filled. The back entrance is being used as a backup because he also just got news that prisoners from the Personify County Penitentiary and Jail were injured when lightning struck near the gas tanks, exploding outer walls and a lot of the occupants. Plus you'd never survive through this storm in car or foot, it's too powerful! What you need to do is just wait out the storm and let us do our jobs so you can see them alive and patched up!"

A long pause followed then. Eliza finally was able to collect herself and watched the phone, sniffling away disobedient tears still trying to escape. It seemed to drag on forever, the deadly silence. Finally, the phone clicked off; they had hung up on them. Eliza and the entire staff let out a collective, shaky breath. Now things were going to go downhill, as they went off after another emergency call calling them to the back entrance to help those prisoners. Eliza shivered though as she made her way there.

She hoped he wasn't there….

* * *

Romano set the phone down, staring at it before slumping into his hands, curling up and crying out his heart. His brother was in the hospital again. His brother was bodily injured again. Now he found himself worrying not just for Feli, but for the lug-head boyfriend of his! He was also there, and kept him safe and took most of the damage. Ludwig took it because he didn't want to watch Feli get hurt again. He sobbed grossly into his hands, and felt someone start to touch his shoulders. He looked up from the crook of an arm to see Antonio was the owner of said arm touching him. He didn't care for his dignity or reputation and curled up into Antonio's chest, gripping the back of his t-shirt. He hiccupped into him, trying to let it out. Antonio's hand ran through his hair, his voice a soft whisper as he tried to soothe the disturbed boy.

The rest of the family was silent, pacing, crying, muttering, or all four at once trying to figure out what the hell to do. They were told to stay back, let the storm and the hospital personnel take its course. Lili slowly sank back down into one of the circular chairs in the living room, feeling more empty then sad. She couldn't cry; she couldn't feel anything. It felt like the cold outside had soaked her from the inside out. She continued to sit quietly until she curled in inside the chair and fell asleep. Only then did she cry.

The rain and wind slapped hard all around the house, making it sound like a battle to the fittest outside. Sebastian was huddled up on the end of one of the downstairs couches, trying to catch some sort of shuteye while they waited. Gilbert was trying to keep himself together, from bolting out into the storm and running into the hospital and demanding to see Elizabeta or Iryna and they could get him to his brother and Feli. He was currently curled up in a ball in his room, with the lights off. Only when lightning flashed in the sky did he see what was around him. Arminius and Romulus were having council in the kitchen, sitting on the floor as they lit a few candles, just in case the power went out with the storm. Arminius still had tears falling down his face, but they were hastily rubbed away.

"So what are we supposed to do Romulus?" he asked softly, tapping the ground like an impatient child. He couldn't stop tracing the shape of his Iron Cross, just repeating it over and over. It was haunting him; well…several things were haunting him now. One was that Ludwig was hit by yet another car. He must have been mortified when it came at him, the shine of headlights hitting his eyes once more. Why couldn't he have been there, to help him through it?! The last one, and most important, was that the Personify County Penitentiary was hit. This could spell trouble. He had done a bit of research on the place.

His train of thought was interrupted when Romulus's hand slowly snaked around the one tracing the Iron Cross. Shocked out of his mind, he looked up at Romulus, who sported a blush he had not seen on him…ever. The man known for his hard goals and beyond-serious morals was blushing almost like a schoolgirl. He gripped harder, looking sideways away from Arminius's face.

"Romulus" His voice was a soft snap; a surprised breath of a sound. No answer. He looked finally into Arminius's face, and sighed, letting go of the appendage.

"Sorry" he sighed. Arminius made a sound from the back of his throat and stood up.

"Why the hell would you do that?"

Romulus looked up at Arminius, shocked. The tirade did not stop there.

"You discriminate your own grandson for doing such things, and then only a few weeks, completely forgetting the scars you left, you try that? Maybe try when this shit is all over and you can go the whole time without trying that again"

Arminius walked out without another word, taking Romulus's only hope with him. He slumped up against the fridge, and watched as he disappeared upstairs, his sleeve pressed to his face. Romulus could only speculate if what he had said hurt him. Romulus started to cry himself, finally. He was wounded from his family hurt and his own heart hurt. God, he hated this so much. He just tried to find some sort of comfort during this! God…he wanted to make up for mistakes, not push him more away!

"Romulus, you alright, well…..are you surviving?" Romulus looked up to find Francis standing where Arminius was, looking as crappy as the others. Francis was near mental breakdown when they found out, because he was the last person to talk to Feliciano, and took it upon himself to take the blame. He had talked to him about getting Ludwig and other things, and he felt responsible. He had locked himself in a room and let everything out, refusing to let his friends or the family in. Reluctantly, he let Lili in and soon he was out, albeit red and full of grief.

"Not really….Arminius…."

"Enough, let me sit. I need to know"

Both men sat down and talked, though the tale was short. Romulus didn't really like to tell it, since it was also about his rejection and Arminius making a true point that he hated to admit was right. Francis took in the short details, and talked for a while about what to do now, and how the hell they were going to react when they saw them in the hospital.

The rest of the family dissolved slowly into sleep, the amount of crying done taking its toll. Lightning shrieked across the sky several times, the lights inside shuttering off, waking everyone from their slumber. Lovino, sometimes easily frightened when it grew dark and no one was there, started to panic, until Antonio tapped his side, reminding him that he was there. He hugged into him again, shaking as a flash of lightning lit up the area. At least they went ahead and lighted candles. Then the true horror hit, and Gilbert and Romulus were in hysterics, and the family followed soon enough. The power was out. It could be out for the entire town, if the news anchors earlier were right with the severity of this storm.

What did it mean for the hospital? What did it mean for Ludwig and Feliciano?

* * *

When the lights went out, the hospital was in chaos. The emergency generators went on, soaking everything in emergency red lights. Surgeries were in even more trouble, as a few instruments were shorted out by the power surge. Feliciano and Ludwig were in the last legs in their surgeries, being sewn up and last bit of blood cleaned up. The AKG's were off, and the eerie silence was starting to creep out everyone. They had survived the surgeries though. Ludwig's crack ribs, which were found to be chipping off pieces that lead to his internal bleeding, were cemented back together. The bleeding was taken care of as well, after pulling a few fragments of his ribs out of said bleeding area. The cuts were cleaned and the worst of them sewed up. The burnt part of his face, well…..they had to remove it, to keep it from festering and rotting. They already knew Feli would approve of being a skin donor, so they used samples from him and Ludwig's own from his leg to graft it onto Ludwig's face. Feliciano's arm was fixed as best it could, and set in a cast to help it heal. He would be in it for a few weeks. The bruising on his ribs was carefully wrapped, to help the bones and muscle heal, and like Ludwig, all cuts were clean and the worst of some were stitched up. Even in the low red light, they looked terrible.

Slowly, they were finally moved from the O.R they were in, and moved into a different room, one were both could be in. The doctor kept his promise. The boys were sedated so they would be out for a bit, to help both their bodies and minds to recover from what had just happened. As the boys were placed in the beds, stand-by nurses hooked up I.V's and promptly left, keeping the door ajar. They knew Iryna and Elizabeta would take up responsibility to take care of them. The two nurses quickly moved to the back entrance to relive the two of their duties there.

As the two nurses came up to the doors, they were shocked at what they saw.

Nurses were clutching their own wounds as prisoners who refused help or wanted to attack did as they pleased. Some of the men and women were taking the help, knowing that this would probably the only help they could get. The others were abusing such help. One nurse picked up her cell, and called someone, who had connections to the police. They were here, even with power out, in no time, taking those who abused the nurses or attacked others out and back into a temporary holding facility. Elizabeta and Iryna, who were bloodied, but not beaten, stood, watching as the last man was carted away. They turned to the two new girls and saw their smiles. They were ok. Eliza and Iryna ran past them, glad that they could be relived of that duty and put for Ludwig and Feliciano. They made haste to their rooms, which they were informed of through the girl who arranged their room.

* * *

Feli was keeping himself calm as best he could. He was trying to remember what happened, how it happened. They were just trying to walk home, right? The rain started, and it was heavy and foggy and thick and lightning was going off. He had tripped and sprained his ankle. He used Ludwig as a support, and they ended up in the middle of the street. The car. The car was barreling toward them, and they couldn't move fast enough. Ludwig was petrified by the moving vehicle, and even though the phobia he kept himself in front of him to protect him. Ludwig could have easily died there because he couldn't bare to see him hurt. The rest was black and fuzzy, and then he remembered being moved.

It was still raining, and it was loud and there was flashing lights everywhere. Was he picked up by an ambulance? Then Ludwig, next to him, looking….looking like death, all red and bruised. They were, because then a guy in a Red Cross jacket was up in his face, trying to help him! It grew dark again, muffled sounds and words, then Ludwig's voice clear in his head. He was saying… 'It's okay'. Yeah, he was trying to comfort him. Black completely, and then the sterile white hallways. People freaking out and people in doctor's coats around him. Police men guarding the doors. People around them looking injured but taking care of themselves. Were they worried for him? Both of them being moved painfully, his ribs hurt, his arm…his left arm, he couldn't feel it. It felt all broken. He looked over once more to Ludwig, who had his eyes barely open. He tried to reach out, and call his name, his lips hurt and his lungs…they felt hurt. Then it was black again, he could just hear Ludwig over all the other people. There were a lot of people there.

Then nothing. Nothing after that. Maybe the doctors helped him? His eyes didn't feel so heavy anymore. He slowly opened them, feeling the resistance in his head. He felt, heavy but light, not really there. They must have sedated him, maybe.

The room was a light blue pastel color. No curtains around him, though. He must have been fixed already. He could feel his lungs push with some pain up in his ribs. His ribs still hurt. He narrowed his vision down, barely sitting up but gasping when the surge of pain hit him. His entire belly was wrapped. Maybe he hurt his ribs or something. He could move a tiny bit at least. He wiggled his fingers just a bit, to see if anything was paralyzed. It was all good so far. Wait, his left arm…his fingers could barely move! He looked just down to his left, and noticed his arm slung up, bound by a red cast. His arm…he must of broke his arm. He heard a shudder of a breath next to him. He was getting scared, was someone there watching him? He slowly turned his head the other direction, and his breath was taken away instead.

Ludwig was bound up and bruised to high hell next to him. His torso was all bound up as well, white covering pale skin. His skin was littered in little red cuts, some sewn up in stitches. Bruises were lining almost every place. His face was slightly red, though it looked more form a blush. One cheek was wrapped up, hidden from him. He face twitched, and his face was suddenly itchy. Why was it itchy? He shrugged it off. His eyes were on Ludwig. His chest barely rose up and down. Maybe the binding was affecting him, or maybe he hurt his ribs too? He didn't have any casts, so nothing was broken. He still watched the rib area though. It worried him. He slowly closed his eyes again, feeling tired and heavy. The door suddenly opened, streaming red florescent light into the room. Two feminine figures stood in the hallway, and green eyes catch his amber as he barely opened his again.

"Feli, you're awake"

Elizabeta was here, and from the silhouette, that must have been Iryna behind her. The girls crowded around him first, brushing away his hair hanging in his eyes. He smiled weakly up at them. He sighed then sank back into sleep, tired from seeing everything and trying to see himself. The sedative must have been heavy. Eliza smiled at little Feli, glad that the kid pulled through. She looked over at Ludwig, Iryna at his side. She brushed back some of his blond hair, smiling sadly.

"He took so much damage to save him." She said softly, pecking his forehead. "I'm glad he survived"

Elizabeta smiled and slowly went up to her, rubbing her shoulders. It was going to be a long road to recovery for not just the boys, but for everyone. The scars now ran farther emotionally and physically. Elizabeta looked into Ludwig's face, watching the blush somehow on his face, lighten. He must be dreaming well for once.

"I think he's dreaming of Feli, someplace safe" Iryna said, her eyes partly cloudy. She was doing it again. Eliza chuckled softly, and cupped the uninjured, well partly uninjured it was bruised, cheek of Ludwig's face.

"Do you think he'll remember it Katyusha?" Elizabeta asked. Iryna shook her head, standing up and walking to the other side of the bed, between both boys.

"I wouldn't have a clue, Eliza, but I feel that they will be alright"

* * *

_**Finally! Got it done. I hope you liked it. This was just a bridger/filler chapter, so the good stuff is the next one! Hope to see you there!**_

_**Remember to review! I live off of those, I would love to know how you like this, or what you want to see happen.**_


	13. Time of Numb Courage

_**I'm back! Now let's see how things are going on now...Also, just for goods sake, this will start to look up, meaning GerIta fluff. You just have to wait out just a bit.**_

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'It's Not My Time' by 3 Doors Down, 'Heart of Courage' by Two Steps From Hell, and 'Numb' by Linkin Park-**_

* * *

For the next three hours, everyone in town sat in darkness. Homes without light and buildings without sounds stood in eerie shadowed forms, the rain accompanied by lighting and pounding thunder making it look like a ghost town. Those lucky or smart enough to carry flashlights, candles, or stand-by generators had semi-lit rooms, looking out into the darkness of the now dead city. Only a few lost souls wandered the streets, desperate for shelter to get away from the rain pelting them with no mercy or hope of stop. The Vargas household, now holding both themselves and their close friends, held good light, with a flurry of candles lit all around the house, windows opened enough to let the small amount of smoke out and to let those calmed by the rain hear its musical symphony. Most of them had fallen asleep, their grief and crying taking hold of them like a vice, pulling them over the edge of tired to completely exhausted. Lili was still curled up in the circular chair, a small blue blanket curled up around her, balled up into two fists. Lovino thought she would be cold, and put it over her before falling asleep himself, unknowingly curling up into Antonio, who fell asleep with him.

Gilbert and Sebastian had fallen asleep propped up against separate walls, desperate for sleep without any ways of finding something with cushion. Gilbert, being a rather quick thinker now, had grabbed a blanket, popped a squat against the wall, and fell asleep. Sebastian had done something similar, only somehow getting to lay down in a couch, curled up around one of the throw pillows, whimpering in his sleep. Both boys were exhausted, unable to do little more besides fight the terrors that visited them in their dreams. The entire family was mentally and physically done for today. However, through the lightning and sorrow, through the tears and sleep, Arminius sat in front of his small lab top, the only true light source in the home from electronics. The battery was still good, and he was starting to freak himself out as he continued his on-going research.

The connection to the hospital and Personify County Penitentiary and Jail was too close, too intertwined. It scared him, ever since Ludwig told him ever briefly. He knew the Jail's dark and twisted history, and its current history, marks, rumors, and events. He kept small tabs on the place ever since Ludwig returned from fourth grade summer school. What he wanted to know wasn't exactly public knowledge, so it was an almost dead end search, looking into all the jails near the two towns, desperate for answers. It would seem logical that anyone sent to jail in the other town would be put in their jails, but from the paper and document trail he was following, it looked like some of the more insane, dangerous, and strongly charged felons are put in P.C. Jail. Somehow, the jail could release the names of recent inmates. They literally had a list of the most recent felons accepted into their walls, just waiting to be read all over the internet. He had no clue why they did it, but he feared one single name would be on it. He opened up the list, and started to scroll through it. It hadn't been updated for a bit, seeing that crime was relaxed a bit. He didn't get far until he saw the name, written under the date he was thrown into jail.

"Shit…"

He quickly pulled up anything he could on him, hoping that this jail breakdown did not bring horrors on to them.

* * *

Ludwig didn't know where he was. It would seem like he wasn't even in his right mind, or any form of reality. It was too dark, too shady. He couldn't make out anything around him besides a few rotting, broken trees. A few leaves fell around him. Muted noises surrounded him as he was stuck sitting watching the blurred, missing scene. What in the right hell was this? Was it getting lighter finally? He could see a few things, like the sidewalk he sat on, the sun hitting it with some reflection in the broken glass laying around him. Wait a moment, broken glass? It didn't look like the slums, where broken bottles lay everywhere for people to step on. He picked up a piece, and looked through it, the sun he believed was above him reflecting colors through it. A street was in front of him, and other patch of grass and trees across from him. One tree was slightly bent and broken, smoke pouring into the view of the glass. He lowered it, and the barely lit scenery returned. What was going on here?

It brightened again. Sirens were heard over the muffled mess of sound. Police sirens maybe, bordering on ambulance. Maybe it was both overlapping? He couldn't tell. Then a figure finally could be seen. He sighed in relief, and went to stand. Well, he couldn't stand up, it was like his ass was glued to the ground. Well fuck. He watched the figure, tried to find the details.

She was slim, wearing a loose shirt and a very flowing skirt. She wore ballet flats on her feet, clutching a phone to her ear, looking like she was talking frantically into it. From the light, she could have long flowing brown hair and sky blue eyes. She reminded him of Elizabeta. She pointed toward some area in the black scenery, and suddenly tears fell from her face. Her other hand revealed itself to be rubbed raw. She turned to him and half of her skirt was splattered with blood and odd looking fluids. She bared claw-like scratches on her face. Her voice pierced the static sounds around.

"No, I can't help him. I tried all I could, but he's stuck there. Those cars won't move. We can't let him die, just call him! I'll call Arminius, alright? Thank you, now go! We can't waste time, damn it!"

Arminius, why would she call for Arminius? Did she know him, or maybe she was a lover? It didn't explain the stains and blood and scratches and the suddenly disheveled look she bore on her back. He could start to see bellowing smoke in his small lit scene, and then the cries of others. How many people were there here? He looked over to the apparent active area. Something big was going on, and whatever was has gotten his attention. He rose the piece of glass again, and looked into it. He nearly dropped it at what he saw.

Two cars now lay almost completely intertwined in the middle of the road; one slightly alit with flames, the other leaking fluids. A small white hand could just be seen from under them both. Several people stood watch in horror, unable to help the poor crushed soul under the cars. Ludwig shivered and shook his entire frame, watching as the frantic woman called Arminius. Sirens and flashing lights grew closer.

He dropped the glass, and finally the scene was revealed to him, and he was released from his hold. He stood up slowly, taking in the dimmed area, the dead trees, the far-off buildings. He knew those buildings. Those were the main city buildings from the other town. They lived just outside of it, the rural part. It seemed like paradise when they moved there. Now all Ludwig felt to it was hatred and a bad imprint. He didn't remember a lot of this place. The bullying, razing, and all the destructive things. It was weird, even though the memories of bullying seem real extensive, they're really short. Most of his life, from fourth grade down was erased from his memory. He looked part at the wreck.

Police had arrived, and began taping off the entire thing, people pushed back. Paramedics, and assorted crews were working on getting the cars free of flames and separating them to save whoever was stuck underneath it. He saw the little hand twitch, and someone must have seen it in the crowd, because they went up in shouts. Policemen worked to control the crowd, two officers spotting the barreling car coming down the other direction. It stopped a courteous amount away, and out came Arminius, quickly followed by a smaller child. His red eyes…

Gilbert. How the hell is he so young? Was this a dream, a memory? Something his mind just conjured up for him to confuse him all over again? Young Gilbert looked around, then spotted the wreckage, and ran ahead of Arminius, who caught him around the waist and tugged the thrashing boy back behind him, where he cowered and cried.

"Tyson, please them me it's not…" Arminius gasped out as he reached the tape. The police officer he assumed was 'Tyson' turned to him and shrugged, shivering against the wind. The fires had been put out and paramedics rushed to the cars, pulling out the unfortunate dead bodies of the drivers. They estimated that when they connected, and everything started to react to each other, they were killed instantly. Both men were charred and bloodied. They worked hard on lifting and ripping the cars apart, to save the little one stuck between and underneath them. Men started to shout as they could reach the kid, and everyone started to freak out when they boy was pulled out, blood dripping from everywhere. Arminius tried to wrestle past the guarding policemen, reaching out and calling out to the boy. Everything in Ludwig froze and tied together, stabbing him physically enough to sink to him knees.

In the officer's arms was him. The unfortunate victim of this, now bleeding out, was his younger self.

* * *

Iryna shook awake. Something felt wrong, something felt VERY wrong. She had fallen asleep watching over Ludwig and Feliciano, pressing the chairs on the sides together to form a sort of makeshift laying area. She shifted ever slightly to her left and went toppling to the ground with a bit of a groan, her boobs cushioning the fall, although without a bit of a bounce noise. She picked herself up, dusting off her uniform and adjusting back into place, pressing down on her breasts to keep them at bay. She looked over to the boys, and slowly walked up to Feliciano, and did the usual check for stable vitals, IVs working correctly, seeing if they're showing any signs of consciousness.

Feliciano was okay for now, his breathing even. The bruises were already changing into the gross colors, so they should be disappearing soon. A few of the cuts that had stitches were finally secure, so the dissolving line was carefully washed away. The boys had one amazing trait and that was rather quick healing. The cuts and bruises would line him for a bit still, but the minor ones seemed less visible, even after a few hours. She tugged his blanket down, checked the wrappings around his ribs, poked them to see if he was still feeling any immediate pain, and from the grimace she got, he was. She quickly adjusted the pain killers they were giving him, and moved on to Ludwig.

Now she knows why she felt wrong. Ludwig was twitching and audibly breathing. His face was blotchy red, sweat running down his cheeks. He had his head lolled to one side, his breaths coming out in audible gasps. His AKG, which turned on just a bit ago, was going off as it monitored his mental conditions. Something big was going on. Iryna was immediately at his side, moving his head so that his face up facing the ceiling. He was hot, why the hell was he running a fever? Did he already contract something? She quickly grabbed part of his blanket and wiped away the sweat, trying to figure out why the hell he was running a fever.

"Shit, I can't do anything from here…" Iryna was struggling. She didn't know WHAT to do. He was running a temperature; he was in no good place now. She started to panic, and finally pressed Ludwig's panic button, calling Elizabeta to help her with this. She hoped her friend would get here soon. She wiped away a free bead of sweat from his face, and just for a moment, she thought he heard him whisper something.

"Crash….."

Iryna stood stunned. What was Ludwig going through right now? Was he…he couldn't…right? He shivered, then started to shake more spastically, making Iryna try to pin him down to keep him from hurting himself. Iryna had her own feeling of what it was, and closed her eyes as she fought Ludwig's unconscious fight.

'Remember'

* * *

He was shot into another memory, and this one he had no clue what it was, where it was, and what he was looking at. It was a house, just outside a large city. It was painted blue, had two stories, and from the sound of barking coming from somewhere near it, it had dogs. The same convertible car his grandfather owned sat in the driveway. He looked around the small yard, spotting nothing to identify where the hell he was. He slowly walked up to the house, rampant thoughts echoing in his mind, and went through the front door. Well, he slammed into the door, the object solid. Was this a dream, memory? Somehow things were solid again. He gripped the door knob and pushed it forward, letting him inside the home.

Arminius stood just inside the kitchen, staring at the door as he walked in. Nothing changed, and he continued on his way, carrying four glasses of what looked like lemonade on a single metal tray. So it was some sort of dream-thingy, since Arminius just watched him walk in without a knock or anything. He looked around the house, noting that most of the things from the current house were in here. He walked over calmly and ran a hand over a small drawing clipped to the fridge. It was a rather crude, childish drawing in crayon of a bunny. He didn't recognize it at all, and yet somehow it felt familiar. He rubbed a thumb over it, and finally moved along, hearing yelling and laughing coming from the back of the house. He quietly ventured farther to the back, even though he knew they would not see him. As he rounded the final corner, he was met with a glass sliding door, a large background, and three somewhat small kids running around in it.

He couldn't believe his eyes. Out in the back of this house was Gilbert, Lili, Basch, and himself, all young and full of energy and no worries. Gilbert was running around like usual, shouting out random things in German, taunting young Ludwig into doing something. Lili was watching as she sat atop the jungle gym, set up there. Basch was waiting rather impatiently at the small umbrella-protected table as Arminius set the lemonade down and called out to the others. Young Gilbert immediately ran for it, shoving young Ludwig to the ground in a flurry of feet. There young Ludwig sat for a bit, small tears falling down, until Lili came up next to him, and offered a hand. They both went up silently together, until young Ludwig whacked young Gilbert in the head, splashing his lemonade into his lap. Arminius scolded them both, and went to change Gilbert out of the soiled clothes, while Gilbert sobbed theatrically.

Young Ludwig looked rather proud, finally getting back at him. Basch looked darkly at him, while Lili watched plainly, sipping her lemonade. After a bit, Gilbert came out with clean clothing, and a new cup of lemonade. He sneered at young Ludwig and sat down next to their grandfather. Ludwig watched in amazement as the little kids sipped their drinks calmly. He stepped out to the backyard, and hovered next to Arminius, looking at young Gilbert's wild white locks. Suddenly, the house door slammed open, and Romulus's voice called out.

"Arminius! Where are you? I brought my bundles!"

"Out here!" Arminius called back. Young Ludwig suddenly blushed a dark red, gripping his cup fiercely. Young Gilbert let out his usual 'kesesese' and hollered out at him.

"Oi, your girlfriend is here bruder!" Young Ludwig made an angry face, slamming his cup down for effect. Footsteps echoed from the house.

"Shut up! For your information, _he _is just a…a close friend…." Young Ludwig flushed more, looking down in interest at his shoes. Soon the footsteps were at the door, and both Ludwig's looked to the sliding door. Ludwig's vision was starting to go white. No! It couldn't end now! Romulus appeared, smiling and laughing like he normally would, and slammed it fully open. His entire vision went white as young Ludwig jumped off the table seat, and ran toward the small child shadowed in the light. It went completely white, then grey, and finally black, until muffled voices were heard. He groaned without a thought at the voices, it was starting to give him a headache. A beeping joined the chorus of sounds, and he was tossed in the darkness.

The voices were getting clearer, more pronounced. He could make out the words 'awake', 'okay', 'survived', even 'finally'. He groaned again, a sudden sliver of bright white entering his dark home. He blinked at it, and slowly approached it, the sliver growing into a hole, then a gaping opening. He pushed through it, being pushed back with each step, and finally broke through….

* * *

Ludwig's frantic blue eyes snapped open, widely looking left and right, up and down, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Elizabeta and Iryna hovered over him, worried to all hell. When Iryna signaled her to come over her because it looked like Ludwig was going into shock, hell broke loose even in the powerless place. They tried their best to help him through it, since all equipment and help was unable to be used. They did figure out though that something mental was going on, some sort of mental shock, and had to wait it out, to see if he really was okay. He went through a lot of body fluids, and twitching, until it all stopped, and then he woke up. Elizabeta tried to keep him down, but he tried to shoot up onto his hind quarters, only to come back down with a sharp gasp, trying to grasp at his ribs. Elizabeta was keeping his shoulders pinned as she spoke quickly.

"Ludwig, Luddy, you're in the hospital. You saved Feliciano from being hit by a car. Do you remember any of this?"

"Yes" was Ludwig's quick but frantic answer. He was still shuddering, breathing as if he had sprinted. He slowly was catching his breath, coming down from the panic. Iryna sighed in relief, and brushed a sweaty clump of hair from his face. Eliza let go of his shoulders

"Thank god. We thought you were dying, you were shaking and sweating so much" Iryna sighed in relief. Ludwig looked up at her, smiling just a little. He rose a hand and rested it very gently on his ribs. A silent question was passed.

"You had several cracked ribs. We made sure they could heal properly, so we had to do a bit of surgery"

Ludwig nodded weakly. He was tired, his eyes already dropping down. He sank into a deep sleep almost instantly. He was confused though as he sank in to the grey neutral place of his mind. What he saw made his head hurt, and a blushing younger version of himself jumped around in front of him. What was it that he was seeing? Was he getting his...was he getting his childhood back? As Ludwig fully sank away from consciousness, he left Elizabeta and Iryna to watch over them again. Eliza took the next shift, letting Iryna go to the nurse's quarters to sleep in peace. Eliza took a seat in the Ukrainian's previous sleeping place, and leaned on one hand, setting her chin in the open palm.

"I'm glad you're alive for Feliciano, Ludwig"

* * *

Another two hours in, and the lights finally flickered on, and the few people awake cheered. Lili and Gilbert had woken up, cheering loud enough to wake the others, who joined in the merriment. From the inside of their house, over the rain, families all around cheered in excitement as electricity was returned to them. The lightning had faded away into the background with its sister thunder, and now rain fell alone now. Arminius stood with his closed computer, swinging his keys around a lone finger. Romulus stood up from the ground, looking sheepishly at Arminius. Lili took quick notice of this, and watched as Romulus snapped out of it.

"Well, Arminius, are we going to the hospital or not?" Lili called out, beating Lovino to the punch as he opened his mouth. Arminius smirked, and went to toss her an umbrella.

"Grab anything to cover yourselves. We're heading for our boys"

* * *

_**I hope you enjoyed! This was actually fun to write! I hope you enjoyed it, because THIS chapter will be big later.**_

_**Ciao, Ciao!**_


	14. Nothing Left At The Moon

_**Alright, enough waiting! I'm back with the next chapter! This one's a bit more fluffy, I guess. Enjoy!**_

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'Nothing Left to Say' by Imagine Dragons, and 'Barking at the Moon' by Jenny Lewis-**_

* * *

The hospital finally had electricity back. Doctors, nurses, staff and those who took refuge in the hospital helped those who needed it quickly, taking advantage of the power to start on operations or treatment that needed it. All others who could not help with such importance helped those with minor injuries and those that did not require surgery or extensive help. The prisoners were also tended to, some of them thanking them for helping them. People who patiently waited, tending themselves as Ludwig and Feliciano were brought in, finally got the treatment they needed. Finally the bustle of patients and through-traffic died down. Those who did not need to stay, or had enough help to leave, left with many thanks. The prisoners who could go were taken to the make-shift prison-holding facility at the police station, while those who could not were moved into a secluded wing. The ones who stayed seemed to be the nicest out of the bunch. They were the ones who understood the wrong in their actions to get them there. Iryna quickly finished up with the last prisoner, who was already lightly snoring, and pulled the curtain to separate the two occupants. She left the room silently, and started her way to do her final report, and then to Feliciano and Ludwig.

She was kind of glad that she wouldn't have to worry anymore. Now that the power was on, and Ludwig and Feliciano were confirmed clear to leave in a week, she could let a few troubles loose. She had worried a lot about Feliciano, but Ludwig worried her to no end. She watched the German boy grow up and suffer, and was one of the few to offer some solace from it. As she dropped off her final report, and sent word to one of the stand-by nurses that she was heading for the boys, she caught something going on inside the back entrance via the nurse's window. It was just a peek of Arminius's head. They were here fast. She giggled softly, and started her run toward the boys. Her chest was killing her when she got to the door, and found Elizabeta and Feliciano lightly chatting, his fingers twitching around in his cast. Ludwig was still asleep.

"Hey guys…" Iryna greeted timidly as she stepped in, drawing their eyes to her. Elizabeta walked over and hugged her, while Feliciano returned a smile, and waved using his left hand fingers. His cast twitched just to the right as he did so.

"Hi Katyusha, how are you?" Feliciano asked as the two nurses surrounded him again, gentle smiles on their faces. Elizabeta grabbed a chair from the back wall and sat down in it, pulling it up to Feliciano's hospital bed.

"I'm okay, albeit shaken from everything that's happened tonight, but overall okay"

Feliciano nodded, and sank back into his bed, staring up at the ceiling for a moment and then at Ludwig. He sighed sadly, and slowly reached out his right hand out to him, balancing the arm on top of Elizabeta's head. Both girls giggled as the arm wobbled, and then pulled back.

"He hasn't woken up yet, has he?"

Iryna shook her head at first, but caught herself.

"Once, but he was having some sort of attack. It turned out be nothing, but we were worried. He's been asleep ever since"

Feliciano sighed deeply again, turning himself as best he could to face the asleep German, small droplets of tears falling down. Elizabeta went to wipe them away, but Feli quickly blocked the offered appendage, and let them fall. He moved his left fingers again, willing his bound arm to move under the heavy plaster. He could just feel his arm shift under the casting, and he finally moved it out of the sling they put it in, and laid it out on his bared chest still wrapped out. He hissed as the pressure of it fully weighed on the bruised ribs, but let it stay there. Elizabeta stepped back, and smiled sadly.

"You sure you'll be okay Feli?" Eliza asked. Feliciano nodded in response, and kept his eyes trained on Ludwig. Both girls took that as their cue to leave. Feliciano's eyes shuddered closed as the door did, leaving the nurses a silent walk up to the back entrance, because from what Iryna saw, they would be demanding to see them. They quickened their pace, leaving the boys to their currently limited devices. As their noisy footfalls fell silent to the room, Ludwig started to stir, shifting his position and panting. His face was growing a solid pink, and slowly he whispered Feli's name. Feliciano cracked open an eye, and called out to him, clawing out a hand, bridging halfway across empty space between them. Ludwig, even during his fight, stretched out an arm, and curled nimble fingers around the awaiting ones. He tilted his head toward him, the blush darkening as if he could see what he was doing. Feliciano softly cried out his name again, and ever so softly did Ludwig's eyes flutter open, and finally saw what he'd done. He curled them tighter, trying to bring them closer.

"You're okay…" Ludwig whispered, sudden tears falling. His fear this whole time was that Feli had not survived. That his efforts to save him had been for nothing. His eyes ghosted over the cast, and then up to his face. He took a bit of damage, but he was here, intact, and smiling at him. They tried to pull closer to each other, but with locked beds, they weren't moving at all. Ludwig squeezed Feliciano's hand, got one in return, and slowly pulled away, their palms facing each other as they pulled their arms back to their side. They kept their eyes locked before Ludwig slowly started to drift off once more, and fell asleep with Feli on his mind. Feliciano chuckled as Ludwig slowly fell asleep with his name on his lips, a small smile twisting on his lips. Feliciano rested his eyes closed, just drifting around on the grayness of the background his mind liked to conjure up. Blue surged around him, and a small blur of blond hair on a quick body sped off in his scenery. Now he could dream of Ludwig without fear. He quickly ran after dream Ludwig.

* * *

Lovino couldn't stop pacing, keeping an eye on the doors that would lead him to his brother, and his savior. He bit nervously on his fingernails, unable to stop his thoughts on how he looked like, or if he died. Maybe Ludwig died, and when Feli would wake up and found him absent, he would freak himself into a heart attack or something. Both of them could be easily dead by now! He groaned and quickened his pace, shutting his eyes only to see his imaginary scenarios play out like a home movie. He shuddered and shook, stopping his pacing and just trying to calm himself. He was having another panic attack. He couldn't keep himself calm, he just couldn't-

"Lovino, hey, buddy. Relax, it's okay"

He looked up with pure panic at Antonio, who now held onto his quaking shoulders. The family was now bunkered down in the lobby, Romulus watching with some worry in his eyes. Lovino shook hard, tears falling from his reddened eyes. He launched himself into the arms of the Spaniard, and let his entire ego go again. He hated and loved these moments. Antonio slowly led them both back into one of the lobby couches, Lovino taking the chance to lay his head in his lap. He looked at his grandfather, who sat opposite of him. He kept his face neutral but through his shield, he could see the smallest of smirks curl at the lips. Lovino flushed just a small amount. He realized there, for just a moment, how his brother felt when nonno found out about him being a homosexual. Lovino peeked up at Antonio, who was looking down at him and slowly running a hand through his hair, avoiding the one disobedient hair strand that curls away from his head. Lovino sighed, blushed a bit, and settled onto Antonio's lap.

The doors opened a few minutes later, and everyone was on their feet, smiling and laughing with joy as Iryna and Elizabeta greeted them, Eliza ushering them through the door. Both girls were smiling as they lead the group through. They told nothing of the boy's conditions, even as Romulus, Gilbert, Arminius, Lovino, and Lili asked with increasing worry. They simply smiled and said 'you have to wait'. When they were lead down the hallway going to opposite way of their old rooms, Lovino started to freak, only held back by Antonio.

"Where are they?!"

Iryna looked over her shoulder, and smiled.

"They were put in a different room together. The doctors wanted them close to the surgery rooms just in case" Iryna explained, and turned back to the front. Lovino slowly calmed down, letting Antonio lead him on by holding his hand. His entire face was red by the time they got there, but inside Lovino was actually really glad he was here to help him. As Elizabeta chuckled, and pushed a door to her right open, the families tried their best to peer inside.

"Only a couple of you guys can be in here at a time. We can't fit all of you in here this time" Elizabeta instructed, and ushered Arminius, Antonio, Lovino, and Lili inside. Iryna stayed outside with the rest of the party, trying to keep them at bay. As the door clicked closed, those let inside had to keep back tears, gasps, and utter rage in Lovino's case.

Lili slowly approached Ludwig, hands reaching out and touching the bandages over his midsection. Ludwig's face was dusted in pink blush, his left hand twitching and his mouth curled into a soft smile. Arminius came up on the other side of the bed, and set a hand on his head, curling his fingers into his hair. His tears fell without need of words, and honestly he didn't care. Ludwig survived a repeated incident. He survived another horrific car crash and all the while saved his boyfriend. How he was able to keep himself calm enough to do it, Arminius would never know. Lili looked around Arminius to see Lovino and Antonio crowded around Feliciano. Lovino ran a hand over the cast on his arm, and finally leaned down to press a soft kiss on his forehead, earning a smile from Feli. Antonio and Lovino watched as Feliciano's eyes opened and the smile grew. Lovino let out a loud, overjoyed laugh as he hugged his brother with everything he had, only letting go when Feli complained that his ribs were hurting.

"Dios Mio, Feliciano, thank god you're alive!" Lovi cheered, taking his brother's bruised face in his hands. Feli took his brother's hands in his and smiled as both of their tears fell. Lili and Arminius watched the brotherly bonding from Ludwig's side. Antonio started to pull Lovino away, and as it happened, Feliciano let go of Lovino, sending the two into each other and onto the floor. Everyone laughed as Lovino struggled to get off of Antonio. The door opened again, and the rest of them shoved themselves inside. Elizabeta and Iryna took another cue and kept themselves outside, giving the families time to see them.

Romulus was on Feliciano almost instantly, hugging him hard but soft enough to keep his ribs from hurting. Sebastian was at his side as well, and Gilbert was there to hug him. Feli was a bit overwhelmed, but all attention toward them was pulled away when Ludwig stirred, and, with some help from everyone, sat up to seeing Ludwig open his eyes. Ludwig immediately was swarmed and hugged by Lili and Arminius, quickly followed by Gilbert, but same as Feli he kept his attention trained to his Italian. With an idea shared, Arminius and Romulus helped their grandsons up from the beds, albeit without difficulty, and got them close. The families gave as mush room as possible as Ludwig pressed Feli gently to his chest. Both boys sobbed into each other. Lovino snuggled into Antonio as they watched. Lili swatted away hard tears. It was happiness all around as Ludwig and Feliciano kissed, and the families could rest assured that hopefully, all of the horror and guilt could be done and gone with.

Arminius and Romulus spoke with the nurses and doctors after they got Ludwig and Feli back into their beds (of course, they pushed them closer, they're not dumb). It was a hard, convincing chat, but finally they agreed that by the end of the week, in four days, they could bring them home. Doctors had their reason to keep them here; they wanted to make sure that Ludwig's ribs healed right. Plus they knew that if Feli was taken home early, Ludwig would demand it and vice versa. After the news spread, they knew it was time to go, and let the boys continue with healing. It was a tear-covered goodbye, but they knew they couldn't sleep in the rooms again, waiting out the time they had left. Lili was the last to leave, seeing that the girls could go off-duty when the families left. Lili went out with Iryna and Elizabeta later and they spilled their guts on what happened. All the while, Ludwig and Feliciano were asleep again, tired out by all the crying and reunion stuff that went on. Ludwig's dreams were filled once more by the odd memory-things. His one made his heart pound a mile a minute though.

* * *

He was laying down looking up at the night sky. He was looking up at so many stars and constellations. It was a beautiful sight, like he was out of the way of city lights, finally able to see the galaxy around him. He could point out different constellations, like the big dipper and Orion's belt. He looked to his left, and found his younger self doing the same thing, one hand pointing up at the stars. He was talking to someone next to him, and when he sat up, he choked on his air, face exploding into a bright red blush.

Next to young him was young Feliciano!

All smiles and bright cheeks, sparkling amber-brown eyes, and that one gravity-defying curl curled into the shape of a heart. He was wearing a bright blue shirt similar to the day sky, and tan shorts, his shoes somewhere next to him, and smiling up at the sky like nothing was wrong. Young Ludwig was shirtless, surprisingly, and his shirt was tucked underneath young Feli's back like a blanket, and wearing similar brown slacks. No shoes, either. Feli chuckled something, causing young Ludwig to grow flustered, turning away from young Feli. Feli turned to grab young Ludwig, and ended up flopped over him, both chuckling with bright blushes. Young Ludwig tried to shrug young Feliciano off, but the small Italian kept his ground with playful intentions, and instead went on the offense, pressing a kiss to his forehead, giggling like it was nothing. Young Ludwig's blush traveled all over his face, a bright red in the dark scenery, and pushed young Feliciano off him and started to walk down the hill, young Feli calling after him and waving his shirt like a white flag.

"Sorry Luddy, sorry! Don't forget your shirt!" young Feli cried out, and finally young Ludwig turned to Feli and took hold of his shoulders, and press a quick kiss on his cheek, and backed away for a moment, watching as young Feliciano blushed as bright as he did, clutching the shirt hard to his chest. Young Feliciano, with a goofy smile on his face, walked up to young Ludwig, and hugged him, dropping his shirt to the ground. The lights from inside the house illuminated the cute scene. Arminius and Romulus watched from the kitchen as the boys laughed contently. Ludwig walked down the hill and walked into the open house. Arminius and Romulus were talking kindly, the subject being on their in love grandsons. He looked out to young Feliciano and young Ludwig, who walked into the house hand-in-hand. When their grandfathers caught them sneaking in from the dark outside, both boys flushed, and both quickly apologized and started to randomly call out reasons.

Arminius and Romulus laughed kindly, and pulled both boys into their arms, saying it was alright. Young Feliciano laughed loudly, calling out 'Grazie, Grazie' and hugged his nonno's face. Young Ludwig grumbled something with an embarrassed expression, curling into Arminius's chest and yawning. Ludwig's heart melted even more. Was he really this cute and open back then? Why in the world would he forget this, of all things?

"Großvater!" Gilbert was calling from upstairs. "Basch won't stop slamming the door on my hand! I just want to say hi to Lili!"

"Lili doesn't want your hello, it's too late at night! Leave!" Basch was getting fussy again, and a door slammed, followed by a shriek sounding like it was coming from hell. Gilbert's loud theatrical sobs came soon after and Arminius set young Ludwig down with a frustrated sigh. Young Ludwig actually face-palmed at the sound of his older brother's cries.

"Stay with Romulus for a moment, I'll deal with your brother" Arminius instructed pointing behind him at young Ludwig as he went upstairs. Young Ludwig gave a mock salute and called out a 'Yes, sir' proudly. Before Arminius disappeared upstairs, he saluted him back with a smile. Young Feliciano started to fuss in Romulus's arms, so he was set down next to young Ludwig. The two young children walked into the living room, and sat together on the couch, both boys sneaking looks at each other. Romulus turned on the T.V, finally breaking the silence. Ludwig took a seat next to Romulus, closest to the boys on the other couch. Young Feli curled up on young Ludwig, quickly falling asleep and putting his full weight on him. Young Ludwig, who didn't have a lot of strength, slowly fell to his other side, young Feli curling around him. He blushed to the extreme again, but let it happen. He slowly let his eyes shutter closed, and fell asleep with young Feliciano curled up to his chest. As Arminius came down with young Gilbert, whose hands looked like bloated apples, and saw the two asleep, he smiled. Young Gilbert, through his tears, smiled as well, and patted the couch they slept on with an elbow as he was lead into the kitchen to get his hands looked at. Romulus stood up and grabbed a blanket draped over the arm chair they had and put it over the sleeping kids.

"They're getting closer everyday" Romulus called out, walking into the kitchen. Ludwig quickly followed, standing next to young Gilbert. Arminius handed Gilbert the wrappings for his hands, and walked up to the counter, leaning over it to talk to him. Gilbert whined for a moment, and slowly wrapped his hands, having some difficulty seeing as though they were all puffy.

"I think it's good for Ludwig. He's been having a bit of trouble. I just have to thank you for bringing him here a lot, Romulus"

Romulus nodded in agreement. "Feliciano likes him and this place a lot. It's good for him to get attached to something besides pasta"

Both men laughed a bit, hearing Feliciano yawn. They looked over quickly and young Feliciano had cuddled closer to the bare chest of young Ludwig. Ludwig smiled and walked over to the little ones, leaving the others to their devices. The blanket barely covered their legs, keeping their upper bodies exposed to the neutral air. Young Ludwig looked calm and happy, a smile across his face as he placed an arm over young Feliciano. One hand though was curled around young Feli's, kept locked together in-between them. Young Feliciano was keeping himself curled up against his chest, trying to maybe capture his body heat. He was breathing easy, his curl curled once more into a heart. They seemed to fit together like a puzzle piece. Ludwig suddenly felt hot tears trickle down his face, and he raised his hands to wipe them away with a sniffle.

Was he crying for the loss of such innocence? Of missing and forgetting such cute and perfect memories? He sobbed for a moment, and reached out to his younger self. Was he already having problems? He wouldn't know, but he felt like shit now, knowing that all of this cuteness and peace would soon turn to terror; the only thing he would remember out of this for a while.

His hand did not make contact with his younger self. He tried to touch young Feli, and still the same result. He pulled away, backed away, and watched as Arminius walked a sleeping Gilbert back upstairs. He watched Romulus as he walked over to the boys, and tucked the blanket up to their chins. He didn't move them or poke them, pick them up, or disturb them. He walked over to the T.V and turned it off. It was getting late. He walked upstairs after snapping on a small light near the boys and shutting the rest of them off. It was finally time to rest for all of them. His surroundings were once again going white, his mind sending him out of the memory. As he saw the last of the memory, both versions of Ludwig whispered the same thing.

'Feliciano'

* * *

_**Eh? Eh? Please, people, toss me a bone! I want to know what you think! We're at 35 reviews, and I love them all, but I need some more food for thought! The next chapter, hopefully, will be more fluffy, and less depressive. **_

_**Love you all! The reviewers, followers, favoriters, and anyone reading my story! See you next chapter!**_


	15. Same Burning Love

_**BOOM! Another One! I got some good inspiration and stuff(now that most of the depression/dark stuff is over...for now) and just a day later, another chapter! I really hope you enjoy this one!**_

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'Same Love' by Mackelmore and Ryan Lewis and 'I Burn' by Jeff Williams for the RWBY anime-**_

* * *

The next four days went by so quickly, it was like it never really was four days. Time flew for the Vargas and Beilschmidt families as they prepared for the boy's return. Lili and Lovino were growing more ecstatic by the hour, as the fourth day came to a close, and Ludwig and Feliciano were released. It was finally a bright and sunny day, without a single cloud in the sky. The families walked proudly into the main entrance, smiles glued to their faces. As they stopped inside the lobby, they were cheered for, and soon the cheers and calls were for the survivors walking down the hallway toward them. Ludwig and Feliciano, both wearing similar outfits provided by Elizabeta and Lili, walked proudly down the hallways, hands joined and seemingly glued together. They knew underneath their clothing, both their ribs were bound up still, and Feli had one sleeve rolled up to accommodate his cast. They still were bruised a bit, and cut up, but that did not discourage them as they finally reached the lobby of friends, supporters, and family. It was finally a bright future to both of them. After all of the hurt and pain, disaster and destruction, they had a brightness waiting for them outside the walls that held them. The families flanked them, and the sliding doors opened, cameras from local news stations capturing the moment the long term survivors.

Around the county, their stories have touched the hearts of many, from their rumored hard beginnings, to their near deaths, to their moments now where they may claimed have survived their own battlefields. They were famous, in a sense, with their story all over the internet, and donations to a fund to get the scars from their recent hospitalization done and gone with. As the families kept the reports, cameramen, and any supporters of them willing to try to push through, Ludwig and Feliciano spoke in low tones.

"I can't believe there's so many people here, Luddy…."

"I know. I had no idea our story was spread around the state….it's albeit scary, honestly"

Both boys chuckled, and saw their getaway limo, and grinned to no ends as they saw their driver: Roderich, who smiled and called out for them. Feliciano was getting excited. So many people who cared about them, worried for them, and supported them. It was a dream, it had to be. A thought popped into his mind suddenly. These people supported him and Ludwig's relationship, right? Hopefully, because these people were about to get some fan service.

"Ludwig, wait a moment. I want to try something…" Ludwig momentarily turned toward him, the small window he needed. Their bubble stopped as they did. Feli gripped the front of Ludwig's shirt with his right hand, tugged him down and planted a kiss hard on his lips. Shocked for a moment, Ludwig didn't or couldn't react, until he finally caught on and kissed him back. Somewhere in the crowd around them, people cheered and clapped. They could feel the camera watch them as they pulled away with blushes, smiles, and laughter. Feliciano didn't know why he wanted to do it, maybe to see if people really supported them being themselves.

"Why did you do that?" Ludwig asked softly, tugging Feli's shirt and pulling him closer. Feli giggled, and then pressed his cast hand to his chest.

"Because I wanted people to know what we are, and that we don't give a shit if they hate us" Feli said proudly, smirking like the little plotting bastard he was being right now. Ludwig laughed loudly, and pressed his lips to Feli's forehead, and then led them on into their car, the specially blacked out windows blocking any camera films or cameras. It really was like they were celebrities. Finally inside the safely of the car, Arminius, Romulus, Gilbert, Lovino, and Sebastian piled into the other compartments of the limo. Ludwig groaned as they were finally shut away from the commotion. Maybe being a somewhat celebrity was more of a pain then he thought.

"Suddenly, I want all these camera to go away…" Ludwig groaned, stretching out in the spacious compartment. He was careful, however, because his ribs still hurt just a bit. Feliciano peeked out to the back window, watching as people piled into their cars, going the other way, not following them as they pulled away and went on their way home. Feli chuckled, and cuddled up to Ludwig, watching his own ribs as he did. Bruises hurt like hell.

"Agreed. Hopefully they won't follow us. I just want to spend some time with you...hmm"

Both boys laughed a little together, settled now cuddled together, watching through their amazing little one-sided glass panel that separated them from the others. In the second compartment, Romulus and Arminius were busing discussing something, Arminius motioning to their compartment window once. Lovino was content on just looking out of the window, probably thinking about what was for dinner. Sebastian was going the same thing, tapping his hands in time with his music he was listening to. Gilbert had taken shotgun, sitting up with Roderich. Feliciano leaned closer to the glass, sitting himself up using Ludwig's legs. He thought he could see Gilbert get closer to Roderich.

"Hey Luddy. Remember when we found Roderich and Gil meeting up?" Feli asked, keeping an eye on the other compartments.

"Ja, and?" Feli smiled, and then motioned Ludwig over to the glass. He scooted over to give him space to see.

"Because I think it's official"

The boys crowded in front of the glass, and watched as Gilbert moved from his seat up front to kiss Roderich, who blocked all the fun with his chair. Well, he has to drive, he has his reasons. Gilbert laughed from the looks of it, saying something to Roderich. Maybe he was blushing, but they wouldn't know. Arminius and Lovino shouted something up into the front compartment, earning Gilbert's protest. They watched in amusement as their mute show continued on, until Roderich, sporting very light blush, yelled at them to shut it so he could drive straight. The action simmered down, and Arminius caught the two of them peeking. He tapped at the glass, sending them back into their seats, out of the view of the glass. They cuddled up against each other to keep away from prying eyes, or at least Arminius's glare.

"Oh well…" Ludwig said, pressing Feliciano closer, increasing the pressure on his ribs. Might as well get them used to it, seeing that this was going to happen a lot more. It did hurt a bit, but it was worth it as he peppered small kisses along his forehead, earning several giggles.

"Stop it, Ludwig, it tickles!" Feli complained, trying to swat at him. Ludwig caught his wrists in his hands, holding them above his head. Feli looked up at Ludwig, trying to get his hands free, only to earn a smirk from his boyfriend as it failed.

"No chance, Feli"

Feli chuckled lightly, leaning his head just a bit more, tilting it as well. Ludwig brought his lips onto Feli's, and let go of his wrists, choosing to wrap his arms around his torso instead. It didn't last long, mostly because Feli's neck started to hurt, but they did though stay bound at the lips, Feli curled up on Ludwig's chest. Actually, right before they got home, Feliciano fell asleep in his arms, tired already from the medium-length trip. Ludwig chastised him for his timing, but nonetheless took the burden of carrying him inside. Arminius and Gilbert fussed that he would hurt himself but he just told them off, seeing that just because his ribs hurt a bit didn't mean he was crippled. He understood their worry, however.

By mid-day that day, Feliciano was up and hungry again, protesting for pasta and gelato. It was agreed that they would, because the family wanted them to be happy. Ludwig took the offer for gelato, seeing that he never remembered or never had the delicious treat. He caved to Feliciano by the end and tried some of the pasta, which turned out to be actually really good and filling. It really did seem like everything was going to be okay again. With the spread of news about them, bullies seemed like the least of their problems. As lunch was served up, and the families ate all they could, they went off separate ways. Sebastian and Lovino, quickly followed by Antonio, left for the Vargas house, claiming they just wanted to get home. Feli teased Lovino just a smidgen about Antonio following him, and was promptly cursed at, but the rage was quickly dropped as Antonio literally dragged him out of the kitchen. They quickly left, leaving just the grandfathers and their grandsons. Feliciano and Ludwig quickly fled outside, into the backyard. As they left, leaving the backdoor open, Arminius and Romulus let loose twin sighs.

"They really haven't changed…." Romulus slowly, resting an arm on the sliding door. Arminius looked over at the Italian, and then back to the moving forms of their grandsons. They really hadn't, at least when it came to each other. They never liked to be separated, never away for long from each other after their first meeting. Arminius sigh, and finally put a hand on Romulus.

"True. We have though…"

Romulus stared at Arminius for a moment, actually blushing under the depth of the words. He then smirked, walking inside the home, and started a bit of a game. If their grandsons were going to make up for mistakes, he might as fucking do the same. He's done enough damage anyway.

* * *

Something was pushing Ludwig. Something was pushing and pulling him out into their part of the town woods. He didn't know why, or how, but something inside these woods was pulling him in. Feliciano followed closely behind him, curious on why he would want to wander in the forest. The sun barely peaked through the high leaf-covered treetops, sending random shapes of light down to the floor of it. Fallen trunks of trees blocks several ways around in the forest, the entire thing covered in different shrub, moss, and grass. Birds and animals who thrived in this terrain cawed and called out, making it seem almost magical. Ludwig kept a tight hold of his hand, making sure he wouldn't get lost in the large glen.

"Ludwig, where are we going?"

Ludwig stopped in the midst of a small opening in the forest, treetops completely hovering over them, creating a perfect shady spot and shelter. Small birds chirped and flew over them, and finally the trees encircling them. They were dark brown, a healthy sign, and free of marks, except…

Feliciano stepped closer to the marked tree, covering his gaping mouth. This couldn't be the tree, it just couldn't be. They were in a completely different area, right? How could this be here, at all?! He placed his hand just below the carving in the tree. It didn't seem real. He turned to Ludwig, who was frozen still in the middle of the outcropping. His eyes were partly glossed over.

"Ludwig? Luddy?" He walked over and shook Ludwig, fear gripping him as Ludwig did not respond. He could feel his weight suddenly shift onto him, hit feet sliding from under him and sending both of them into the ground, falling into the grass and green leaves. Ludwig went completely limp on top of him, his eyes closed as his head rested on his chest.

"Luddy! Luddy, do not do this!" Feli cried out, slapping Ludwig's head back and forth. Nothing was returned in his efforts, so he just held on to Ludwig, feeling small tremors shake the blond's frame, and hoped he would wake up.

* * *

Ludwig slammed awake, standing up in a flash of adrenaline. He looked around quickly, fueled by the fear coursing through him. He wasn't with Feliciano anymore. Did he….no…

He looked just to his left, and there, in the low light, was the small outcropping he and Feli were just in, but this time, it wasn't him and Feli. It was once again young Ludwig and young Feliciano. They looked older than the last time he had a memory flash, maybe just in second or third grade. Young Feli clutched to a denim jacket as the wind whipped around the fading leaves around them. Late autumn light peaked through the dead tree limbs, bathing them both in light. As young Feli lead them on, clutching his jacket, young Ludwig tugged at his own shirt, shivering. No jacket. Young Feliciano, without thought, tossed the jacket he had onto young Ludwig, smiling as he declined to have it back. Young Ludwig blushed as they made their way into it.

"Here! That was a long hike" Feliciano huffed out, doubled over to catch his breath. Young Ludwig was next to him, not hunched over, catching his semi-rapid breath. He shivered into the jacket once more, and rubbed young Feli's back until he straightened up again.

"I thought maybe, when we move here soon, that we carve our names into one of the trees! You know, because…"

Young Feliciano slowly let the sentence drop, blush covering his face quickly. Young Ludwig looked over his shoulder, some concern crossing his face, before lifting the jacket over their heads, covering their faces, and moving close. By the sound young Feli made, he must have kissed him. Soon the jacket was back around young Ludwig, and both were blushing big time. It wasn't until then that he noticed the bruises on his neck and shoulders just peeking out of his shirt. He was in the midst of getting beaten up, of facing bullies and terrors. When was this, and after what bullying?

"Did you bring anything sharp, or something Ludwig?"

Young Ludwig flushed a bit, but started to rummage in his jeans until he pulled out what looked like a switchblade. Ludwig was just a bit bewildered. He knows that HE could handle one now, but a second or third grader handling one?! Why the _HELL_ would he have one?!

"Stole it from großvater. Trust me; I know how to use it"

No you don't! My god, who let him steal it?! Ludwig, the spectral watcher he was, was freaking out that his younger self did such things. He stepped forward, wanting to grab the switchblade out of his hands, and just crave it himself, but remembered as he stepped into the halo of light that served as the light source for the glen that he couldn't. Spectral watchers could not interfere with the past. He instead watched as his young self shrugged the jacket off, handed it to young Feli with a tiny blush, and approached the tree, the blade flicked out of its holder.

Young Feliciano watched in fascination as the knife bore into the tough bark of the tree, digging rough shaped letters, encircled by a heart. Ludwig had to sigh though; even in the torture he was taking, he did something as girly as this. As young Ludwig dragged the knife once more around the craved heart, he stepped back, admiring his work. The letters of their names were wobbly, a bit misshapen, but you could tell what it said.

LUD

X

FELI

Young Feliciano giggled cutely into his hands, tucking himself into the jacket. He walked up to young Ludwig, took the knife from his hand, stabbed it into the tree, and pressed himself close to him. Young Ludwig immediately blushed to his ears, but still hugged Feli close. Behind the cover of young Feli's shoulder, young Ludwig hissed out as his bruises stretched. Ludwig watched in a mixture of pain and happiness.

"I already miss you Luddy…."

Wait, what was going on?

"It's only going to be for the summer, Feli. I can't fail school now"

….This was before the horrible summer to make up fourth grade at Personify County Jail? He did this before he had his downfall, the first vision? His first time cutting and the almost loss of his innocence by the hands of a seventh grader?! One of his happiest, cutest moments happened right before his demise? He struggled to keep tears back, as young Feliciano let his fall, pressing himself closer to young Ludwig. From the looks of it, young Ludwig pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, and settled into the crook of the smaller male's shoulder.

"I don't want to go, honestly, Feli, but if I fail school now…."

"Why is it so important?!" Feli cried out. "The rumors around that horrid place-"

"Großvater fought the school as best he could! I NEVER wanted to go, but I have no choice!"

Silence ruled after the small fight. Slowly, young Feli pushed young Ludwig back just a bit, and looked at him with serious intent.

"Then we seal a pact. Whatever happens, we return here after the worst is over."

Both young Ludwig and Ludwig nodded. Ludwig stepped closer to the exchange, sitting down on his knees to watch.

"We seal it with a kiss…on the lips…" Young Ludwig blushed hard again, stumbling on words. Then he took a breath to steady himself, and took young Feli's hands in his. He nodded in agreement. Both boys were silent and still for a heartbeat, until young Ludwig, in a brief moment of heroism, shot forward and kissed young Feli right on the lips, pulling him just albeit closer to him. As if God could see them, the sun brightened, shining down on them like God approved of them, giving them his blessing. Ludwig's vision was growing white with the new light; his signal to leave. As the last bits of light covered the memory, he could make out young Ludwig and young Feliciano chuckling and walking back home.

Now he could come back to real-time Feliciano.

* * *

Feliciano lost tract of time, he had no clue how long he laid down with him on the ground, but when he found himself being pulled up by suddenly conscious Ludwig, he didn't care. He glomp-hugged Ludwig almost back to the ground, his hands digging into his back.

"Luddy! You scared me! I thought something happened!"

"You can say that…."

Feliciano grew confused. He stepped back from Ludwig, and watch him as he walked up to the carving on the tree. He pressed his hand over part of it. The carving read…

LUD

X

FELI

"Feliciano…did you know that right before I started the fifth grade I was in a car accident?"

Feliciano's heart dropped. His grew pale. He had no clue; he had moved before fifth grade even grew close. He outstretched a hand, but Ludwig caught him surprised as he continued on.

"After that, I forget everything happy, everything wonderful and warm from fourth grade back. For a long, long time, all I remembered was the times of hatred, of bullying. Of all the times I've worked on for so long to repress, because it tore me to depression and almost suicide by the time seventh grade came around. That's why I've been afraid of crossing the street, or of certain cars. And…and just recently, after the car crash, my second one, I…

I started to remember all the fun times I had."

Feliciano grew closer, and pressed himself to Ludwig's back. He could feel him shake, feelings taking over logic. Feliciano wrapped his arms around Ludwig's broad chest, and whispered into his back.

"What've you remembered? Did you remember something here?"

Ludwig nodded, and twisted in Feli's grip. He pressed Feli close to him, backing himself up until he reached the tree with their names carved into it. He left butterfly kisses in his hair, tears joining into the mix.

"Yes I did" Ludwig's voice was breaking. "I remembered the day those words were craved into that tree. I remember our first real kiss."

Feliciano found himself sobbing into Ludwig's chest. He himself remembered his childhood, and all the fun and love he shared with him. The nights out with the stars, wandering the close-by forest, and the warm night with hot chocolate. He even remembered moving day, when they were separated. Ludwig was just leaving for the Personify County Penitentiary and Jail, to make up fourth grade. He waved goodbye, and hugged him for good luck and goodbyes. As Ludwig drove away in a barely filled prison bus, Feli drove away with his family to the new town.

"W-what else?" Feli's throat, caught by tears, was constricting his words. Ludwig titled up his chin, keeping their eyes locked.

"A few things, when we were younger. But right now…right now, I want to make up for my absence.."

Feli pressed himself closer, rising up on his toes. He was almost at exact face level with him, their warm breath mingling together.

"And to make up for our pact"

Feli gasped just a bit, his memories drawing him away for a moment as he relived it in his mind, and then in present time as Ludwig took hold of his hands, pulling him back down to the ground. He then smashed his lips down onto his, and repeated history as it should be. Like last time, the sunshine broke through the treetops. It was a perfect scene once again. Quickly, Feliciano broke away from Ludwig's hands, and wrapped them around his neck. They slowly pulled away after a few bliss-filled moments.

"I love you, Ludwig…" Feliciano panted, running one hand through his hair. Ludwig smiled and closed the distance between them again, and whispered against his lips.

"I love you too Feliciano"

* * *

_**So...how's the fluffy fluffy fluff? I love the return of the fluffiness of GerIta. Welcome back the fluff with reviews! (and hugs, and plushies. Every review gets a plushie of GerIta!).**_

_**Thanks so much for reading! *makes it rains rainbows***_


	16. The Way Into The Night

_**This took longer than I thought! I had to come up with some fluff to fill it in, so enjoy some fluff! Then at the end...well, you'll see...**_

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'The Way' by Fastball and 'Into the Night' by Santana-**_

* * *

It was near dark when the boys returned back into the house. The sky was turning a deep blue and purple, and the first star was already out, shining like the beacon is was rumored to be. Before they went back inside, they decided to keep an eye on the sky, watching the stars slowly appear in the sky. They climbed up one of the trees closer to the house, Feliciano leaned up against Ludwig, who balanced himself to face up to the open sky. They spent only a short time up in the tree, seeing that it was getting dark real quick and that Ludwig's ribs were getting sore from balancing Feliciano on them. They climbed time and walked back inside, smiles still painted on them. They basked in the memories that came from their stargazing, until they swathe scene left in the kitchen.

Laid out on the kitchen floor, starting in the living room, was a line of clothes. That should have tipped them off instantly, but curiosity seemed to catch Feliciano as he looked down the row of clothes. The articles slowly got smaller and smaller, until they ended in two pairs of underwear right at the entrance of the kitchen. Feliciano gasped, knowing what this meant. Ludwig slowly lost color to his face, backing up Feliciano as they snuck into the kitchen, and squinting their eyes just in case they walked into someone in their birthday suit. Well, they did find something very interesting inside the kitchen.

Gilbert stood over two figures on the kitchen floor, a blanket in his hands which he covered the two with. The two on the floor, which from afar looked like Arminius and Romulus, snuggled into the blanket, and then hugged into each other in sleepy bliss. Gilbert smirked as he rose up from his knees. Ludwig watches in stunned silence as Gilbert just watched them, the two least likely people to get together, and one of them seemed to be a bit of a homophobic!

"Gilbert" Ludwig sharply whispered, drawing the albino's attention to them. He quickly moved and all three of them exited the kitchen.

"Was that…." Feliciano started, but Gilbert caught him.

"Yes, and yes before you asked bruder, they did it"

Everyone seemed speechless. Their grandfathers, who seemed to have a cat and dog relationship, just turned it all around and screwed in the kitchen. The thought of them screwing didn't faze them as much as that they actually didn't bother to move from the kitchen. This would traumatize Feliciano into not stepping a foot into the kitchen for a few days. Gilbert though spilled the details on what he thought happened. It was a rather lengthy, over-the-top story that from the start sounded too far-fetched.

"They were right behind us when we left for the forest earlier" Feli pointed out as they all sat in the living room, Gil turning on the TV and turning to a random reality show. Something about a break up and a love triangle, apparently.

"Well….this could mean I can finally relax without worrying about being invisible" Feli said, cuddling closer into Ludwig, who gladly accepted him into his arms. Ludwig slowly ran a hand through Feli's hair, smiling softly.

"Which is due process. Honestly, it was time for the feud to end, right?" Ludwig looked to Gilbert, who was looking over his shoulder as Roderich came from downstairs. He quickly smiled and ushered the Austrian over, and then looked back at Ludwig.

"Yep. Plus, with the feud hopefully over now, we can even head over to the Vargas home again! You should see the inside! I went over after a bit of running around with Roddy" Gilbert cheered, turning the channel once more to a show that everyone seemed to get a kick out of, 'Wipeout'. Roderich soon joined Gilbert on his section of the couch, Gilbert pulling the brunet into his arms. The two couples watched the current marathon of Wipeout for a while, until Ludwig found Feliciano sleeping, drooling out onto his shirt. Roderich had to chuckle as he saw the same thing. Silently, without stirring the Italian, he hoisted him up into his arms, and carried him upstairs. He didn't really know which room to put him in, seeing that now things were finally fully mended, but he ended up in his room, with the Italian folded up against his now bare chest. He was tired anyway, might as well sleep with him.

* * *

The next day started for everyone with a flash of light and a large clap of thunder large and loud enough to shake the house awake. Another storm had started up late last night, soaking the town and neighboring areas. Lightning was to be expected and a possible flash flood warning was issued for the coasts. Thunder and Lightning was their only worry this time, so hopefully they didn't have another blackout. Arminius and Romulus woke up in the middle of the night, before the storm actually fell upon them, trying to remember what happened for them to end up on the floor so close.

Well, Romulus remembered clearly after a few minutes, and promptly retold the tale, ending it with a kiss and an apology for everything he had done, both past and present. They made up, and then they made out. Then Arminius failed to walk around, claiming soreness. It was a fun midnight raid for them, and when they awoke to the house shaking, Romulus rushed downstairs for some reason. Gilbert and Roderich found themselves on the floor when it shook, seeing that they never got upstairs to fall asleep. Romulus rushed to the windows, closing them as the rain splashed inside. How the hell were all the windows open? Gilbert rushed up groggily, closing windows with him.

Feliciano heard the crack of thunder, and slammed himself closer to Ludwig, who pressed him even closer. The crash still lingered in their minds, so the storm found their current weakness, and shot at it with explosive results. Ludwig did not bother with putting on a shirt as he pulled Feliciano and himself out of the room, heading downstairs as a flash of lightning lit up the sky, shining into the house. Feli squeaked in fear, curling his blanket tighter around his hands.

The families gathered in the living room, some bundled into blankets, others just in pajamas clinging to pillows they took from their room. Feliciano was shaking like the trees outside, curled up in Ludwig's own shaking arms. They just had to wait out the storm. Lili had left for a while, to visit her brother, so alas they were without her in this mess. Gilbert and Roderich were trying to get the TV going, hopefully to see if the storm was passing or not, and if anyone had lost power yet. Romulus was cooking something that smelled really good. Arminius was out for the count, for he found out why he was so sore in the hips. That was a fun freak out moment.

The lights flicked on and off a few times, the families watching the ones above them. They stayed on, and the V turned on at last, the news anchor whispering to crew and her earpiece. Everything grew silent, Romulus emerging from the kitchen with scrambled eggs for everyone and over easy ones for Roderich. They all sat in front of the TV, waiting for the anchorwoman to continue. She cleared her throat, and a radar of the surrounding area popped up next to her.

"We have reports coming in from our rather….exhausted weathermen and storm watchers that the storm is not going to be letting up anytime soon. We have reports of cells coming from the Atlantic, possibly a tropical storm. We've been cut off from official reports for a while, so we can't be entirely sure. All we know is that all people are urged to stay indoors, keep all doors and windows locked and closed, and make sure you keep an ear on this broadcast."

"Perfect….we're stuck in another storm." Gilbert groaned, shoveling his food as he talked. Feliciano looked out on of the windows, watching the rain slap against the heavy glass in buckets. Why was it always storming nowadays? He continued to watch it, catching something brown flying around in the wind. HE looked over at everyone, and then up at Ludwig, who gave him a small squeeze. He took a chance, and bolted up, and like an idiot ran OUTSIDE INTO THE STORM.

"FELICIANO!" Romulus and Ludwig were up on their feet, running for the backdoor which now let in pounding rain and wind, trying to see out into the storm. They could just make out Feli's unruly hair in the storm, and saw that it was coming back closer to the door. He came slamming back into the house, pushed by a large gust of wind. He had something curled up in his arms, shivering hard, his teeth chattering. He was soaked to the bone, his curl even flattened to the side of his head, the twitchy end the only part you could see. Romulus ordered for someone to bring some towels, a change of clothes, and something warm to heat him up.

Feliciano curled up into Ludwig, trying to fight off the cold that seemed to grip him from everywhere. He looked down at his cross arms, and smiled, teeth chattering.

"Why the hell did you go out there?!" Romulus demanded kneeling down to look at him. Feli smiled at him and just opened his arms enough to see something brown, wet, and made of natural materials huddled up to his chest.

Gilbert and Roderich came back with the towels, and relieved Ludwig of towel duty. Soon Feli was shirtless, bundled up with soft, warmed-up towels. Ludwig was also shirtless, because Feli had soaked through his shirt. He was huddled into a towel, trying to break through a few cold chills. Romulus asked Feli what he had gotten from outside.

"Not gotten. Saved…." He said between shivers, and held out the bundle of brown out for them to see. After a few tense moments of watching it, a soft cry came from inside it. It came again, stronger and higher. Feliciano tilted it so that the opening was visible, and everyone leaned in to see what was inside.

Inside was a little wet baby bird, crying out. Feliciano risked it to save a defenseless little animal caught in the wind.

The little birded chirped and cried out at them, its beak wide open. Gilbert awed at it, but then noticed it was yellow, like Gilbird. He suddenly turned pale, and called out to his birdie, which came down from upstairs, chirping in loud bursts. His buddy was okay, but shaken. Ludwig looked oddly at his brother, but returned quickly to Feli who bunched up a part of his towel and set the baby into the mock-nest. The poor thing was dripping wet like his savoir, his rough whitish-yellow down feathers newly grown were pressed tightly to his body. Feli hushed the little thing, watching as it looked around at the new environment.

"It's okay, little guy. I have a bird that could help" Gilbert took his bird into his palm, and held it out to the baby. Gilbird tweeted at the baby, who responded by crying out again, opening his mouth. Gilbert tweeted loud several times before flying up to Gil's shoulder again.

"He looks hungry" Feli said, shivering into his covers. Ludwig tossed his towel away, and offered himself to help warm him up. Before he moved toward his boyfriend, he offered the towel nest to his grandfather. He then tossed his towels, and snuggled up, bare chest to bare chest, up with Ludwig, and even though he knew it would help him, he blushed all the way to his ears. Feli wrapped his arms around his neck, playing with the ends of his hair. Ludwig pressed him close, trying to avoid looking at him, placing his hands on his still wet back.

Romulus, Roderich, and Gilbert left the two of them to deal with their usual awkward devices, and went to work to help the saved baby bird. Through his knowledge of birds, from raising Gilbird, he knew that a bird this young wouldn't be eating solid food. That meant regurgitated food. Everyone agreed that they would be doing it, and somehow Gilbert ended up looking at a bucket of worms. He looked at his boyfriend, who was petting the baby bird.

"You know how to do it right?" was all Roderich offered. Gilbert grumbled something in German before pulling a worm out. Romulus and Roderich promptly left, the bird left in the towel nest for Gilbert to feed. Before they even hit visual range of Feli and Ludwig, they could hear Gilbert trying to feed the little bird. They would give him a lot of respect after this.

When they did get to the living room, they found the boys somehow asleep through the hectic-ness of the storm and the aftermath of Feli's run into the storm, Ludwig's arms entwined around Feli's waist. Even at this age, they looked cute curled up on the couch together. Romulus let a sigh pass his lips, and covered the two with the blanket they had brought down. Roderich and Romulus plopped themselves down on the ground, watching the news rant out something about the huge storms recently between the workers stranded at the broadcast building. Gilbert came out about ten minutes later gnawing at a chocolate bar. The baby bird was tucked asleep in the towel nest hidden in the crook of his elbow.

"Where in the hell did you get the chocolate?" Roderich demanded, his stomach growling after. Gilbert looked down at the bird, and then snapped his chin toward the kitchen fridge. Roderich bolted, throwing the door open, looking for the sweet treat his boyfriend had found. Gil took a seat next to Romulus, setting the towel nest in-between his legs.

"Trying to get the worm taste out of your mouth?" Romulus asked. Gilbert nodded, taking a chunk out of the bar and offered it to Romulus. Both men proceeded to chomp down on the chocolate in silence, Roderich finally cheering out after about a moment, holding up a chocolate bar with a goofy grin. He practically skipped over to sit in Gilbert's lap, but noticed the bird first. He gripped his candy bar in his teeth, took the bird in his arms, and plopped himself in Gilbert's lap, blushing. He set the bird then in their tangled legs. Finally, he opened the bound candy and chomped away at it, Romulus chuckling in the background. As they watched the TV with no real interest, Arminius, who still was recovering, came out.

"So the chaos continues…" he said, drawing those awake to him. Romulus laughed, jumping up and over the couch.

"He walks! You sure you don't need my help?" he asked, winking. Arminius scoffed, poking at the Italian as he grew close.

"No, just don't pull that in the kitchen" Romulus started to pout, until he caught him in a bear hug, lifting him up over his shoulder, where Arminius started to pound on his shoulder, crying out to put him down.

"No, I'm being nice and carrying you to the couch!"

"No, you're kidnapping me and carrying me like a sack of potatoes to the couch! Put me down!"

Gilbert and Roderich laughed their asses off as Romulus succeeded in bringing grumpy Arminius to the free couch, setting him and his blanket down with a grunt. Arminius instantly noticed though the towel nest between the young boy's legs.

"What is that?"

Gilbert noticed his line of sight and picked up the white bunch of towel, and nudged Roderich off him. He walked up to his grandfather, and let him see the inside of the little nest. Arminius's face instantly softened. He pushed a gentle finger along the sleepy bird's body, smiling.

"How did he get here?"

"Feliciano took a stupid risk and plucked him out of the storm. If you haven't noticed, both of the lovebrids are asleep" Gilbert motioned to the larger couch, where Feli and Ludwig were curled up in a peaceful sleep. Arminius chuckled, and took hold of the nest, releasing Gilbert and Roderich from it. They both sat next to each other again as Arminius kept watch.

"So…" Roderich asked, "how did you guys go from minor enemies to lovers…all in one go on the kitchen floor?"

Romulus jumped at the chance to explain, smiling at Arminius as he spoke up.

"Well, I was tired of making mistakes for all the shit I put Feli through, and I was tired of fighting. So I offered a truce. Somehow, it ended up with a drinking contest, and Arminius, drunk off his rocker, pounced on me and-"

"No, you offered beer, then I got a little too drunk and kissed you. You then turned it into almost humiliating sex on my kitchen floor, which ended when you tried to call Gilbert and gloat! I never once 'pounced on you'"

"What about when I went in and-"

Arminius grew silent, blushing. Then he came back at him.

"That was only once! And that was when we started to have sex, not before it!"

"Well, you went with it! Drunk or not, you cannot resist me" Romulus stood up and gestured to himself, somehow sparkling in the dim light.

"I resisted you for about ten years. I win that battle"

Gilbert and Roderich listened to them bicker like they weren't there, slightly mortified as they went into explicit detail on what happened. By the time Gilbert interjected and stopped the private-but-public talk, Roderich had abandoned the thought of food, and left his chocolate abandoned on the coffee table. Arminius flushed as they finally stopped talking about it.

"Sorry, Gilbert…."

"No, no it's okay! We all wanted to know how you screwed Romulus in a drunken lust…" Gilbert said with a sharp sarcastic edge. Romulus sighed heavily and sat down next to Arminius, who held up the nest in response. No touching for Romulus. They settled in again, watching as the cameras on the news channel were turned to the crew now, trying to entertain themselves as nothing seemed to be happening. It was kind of funny that they let this be aired. Their silence was done with again as someone knocked on their front door. It swung open and closed quickly. Lovino, Sebastian, and Francis somehow got back here in the storm.

"Merde il pleut![Shit it's raining!]" Francis called out, tossing his soaking coat off him. Lovino and Sebastian quickly followed.

"Nice one, Francis" Arminius called out. The trio stopped as they saw Romulus and Arminius pressed up on each other. Francis smirked, and walked up to the Italian man, and held out his hand. Romulus's eyes widened, but then he curse, plopping a fiver into it.

"He told me about what happened with you earlier in life, and bet that he couldn't be able to get back with you" he told Arminius as he took a seat on the floor, minding Feli and Ludwig asleep on the large couch. "I obviously won"

Lovino and Sebastian spent then the next ten minutes questioning their grandfather, and then Arminius on what happened. They weren't given explicit details, but they got the basics that told them everything. They were a bit mortified as they sat on the floor, letting the boys sleep on the couch. Roderich contemplated if he should tell them the details, but Gilbert asked to keep them in the dark for a bit longer. The Italians finally noticed the baby bird, and then it was all about the bird, and how Feli had risked himself to save it from blowing away in the wind. Lovino praised Feli as he petted the bird, and Sebastian was just happy that his brother saved a bird. Gilbert mentioned a little clue that he was fed a little while ago. Lovino looked at Gilbird, who watched the baby bird from the back of the large couch, and then found himself smiling and grossing himself out.

"Y-you fed the bird?!" he chuckled out at Gilbert. Sebastian turned green. Gilbert though shrugged at the jeering.

"It needed food, and I knew how to do it. I raised Gilbird form his days as a baby, so I knew what to do. I don't regret it" Gilbert said as he held the towel nest in his hands. Things softened up from there, until the newslady returned onscreen, looking worried.

"Somehow, through the storm, we have gotten some serious news. Through the help of the police, we have finally got reports on the Personify County Penitentiary and Jail."

Arminius leaned forward, suddenly scared. If it pertained the Jail, he was scared. Romulus suddenly was interested as well.

"After the first storm, multiple inmates were found missing. After headcount, and name tracking, they have found that they are still missing up till now"

Lovino joined in the freak out. Lightning shrieked outside, thunder pounding the house. Everyone followed suit, letting the rain and the storm outside be the only sound heard.

"We have found that new inmate Derick Liecastor and a few of his gang members have escaped using the confusion of the last storm…"

Arminius couldn't hear the rest of the report. He looked to Feliciano and Ludwig, who still slept, curled up in one another. They didn't know. They did not know that their tormentor had escaped from prison.

He prayed that he would not seek revenge on them.

* * *

_**Now we go once more into serious plot time! Don't hurt me, okay? Thank you all once again for reading the crap I write!**_

_**Don't forget to review (I find myself again begging for these. ;-; I love these things so much)**_


	17. Wanted Dead or Alive

**Alright, from here, I warn you before you even peek at the chapter. Prepare. That it all I shall say until you finish reading**

**-Chapter Inspired by 'Wanted Dead or Alive' by Bon Jovi-**

* * *

The mid-day, the storm had blown through, leaving the town to with a lot of leftover rainwater flooding certain parts, a lot of broken trees, and a few torn power lines. The winds were the big turning point, breaking a few windows resulting in the flooding of several shops and homes, and it resulted in the few power outages to the major parts of the town. Nothing big happened though, besides the news stations broadcast. The list of missing inmates has been released out on to the internet, along with their mug shots. Most of the men have been missing since the destruction of the facility in the first big storm.

As the newscast said, Derick Liecastor and members of his arrested gang were among those still missing. They were on the top priority list to be found. Among him on the list are repeat offenders of varying convictions up to but not excluding first degree murder, drug trafficking, and human trafficking. The jail and the town feared that he would go after the main reason he was taken in: Feliciano. Even though it's been said that Derick has connections to Ludwig, his real target could be Feli, who was the final straw for those who knew of Liecastor's criminal activities. One of his convictions was bullying, seeing that he was a main force of Feli's suicide attempt, and possibly Ludwig's as well, but the history between Derick and the two of them was rather fuzzy.

Derick didn't escape without a plan in mind. When the facility exploded courtesy of Mother Nature, he took his chance and executed a plan if the weather ever played in to the multiple scenarios he had in mind. His boys would use the chaos that would ensure to slip out. Luckily, from where they put Derick, the cell blow blown when the tanks exploded, one wall completely gone. He would pay for the advantage with minor burns and a bit of a bad leg, but the guards had dumped their keys when they ran for the inmates now burning alive. He grabbed them, and ran. Unlocking his bound allies, and booking it out of there before they got caught, they found the entire place in chaos and in flames. They ran for their lives, literally running to the hills bordering the town and the surrounding area near the jail.

Only when he heard from his safe house in one of the bordering towns that he was wanted and on the priority list to be found that he relaxed. They feared for the boy's safety, enough to sway a good amount of the effort to find him and his gang. He carefully set down his beer, and looked over his shoulder at an awaiting member. He took off as Derick nodded. Maybe it was time to exercise some old tactics. He DID have a target anyway. He got up from his living room, and walked around the safe house. Even after his arrest, people stayed loyal to him as his organization, building up defenses. For such a young kid, at 18, he was doing well. His father would be proud, if he hadn't kicked the bucket. His older sister would be too when he saw her again, in one of the towns. She was waiting for him this morning; she had some good info on his target.

He sauntered out of the house, knowing that he would not be found anytime soon. He made sure he had changed his look, made himself invisible. A façade for the greater good of himself and his fellow colleagues. If he was going to continue his father's work, he needed to keep from getting caught, again. He was going to make sure that that faggots who ruined him would get what they deserved. He walked up to his awaiting car, jumped into the back, and told the driver his destination.

"To the Queen's Palace in the old home town. Make sure you don't raise any suspicion.

* * *

Back at the Beilschmidt house, they were faced with mixed feelings. With the news of Liecastor's escape, everyone seemed rather sober, not really into celebrating the break of the storm. Through the hours that passed, with Lovino, Gil, Francis leaving for work and Romulus, Roderich and Sebastian working to rebuild the nest the little bird came in. Arminius kept a watchful eye on Feliciano and Ludwig, who still slept. It was a bit worrying that they were still asleep, not showing any sign of waking. Arminius on a personal gut feeling felt both of boy's foreheads, certain he knew the reason why they were out cold.

He was right; both felt like they were running a fever. Feli though felt hotter. Time for parent freak out in 3…2…1...

"Romulus! We have a problem!"

The adults were quick to work when it was discovered that Feli and Ludwig found themselves under the weather. When Ludwig helped Feli get warm, it must have soaked him enough to get him sick, and well Feli's case is pretty obvious; he went out into the storm. They were separated, and brought upstairs into their rooms, where they were lightly bundled up, and given a sort of treatment via ice cold towel on their foreheads (Romulus claims he got the idea from an old of his who did this to his younger siblings to treat fevers). Both boys were starting to look bad, but Feli took the worst of it, already looking red and huffing out his breathes. They just hoped that it wouldn't last long.

Everyone that hadn't left gathered up in the living room, trying to plot out what to do with the now sick boys. No one could do anything until they woke up and it was pointless to try to go to a doctor because it could be just a simple cold, and that would put not just time but money down the drain. They were stuck with waiting it out, and hopefully get their minds off of the worry. Roderich and Sebastian were happy to go back to building the baby bird's old nest back up and went into the soaking back yard to gather anything they could use to rebuild it.

Arminius and Romulus were the two left to do really nothing. Romulus though gave one look to Arminius, and they were long gone out of the house, going who knows where. Romulus wanted to make sure he could get his free time with his rekindled love. The boys, even if this sounded bad, were okay for now seeing that they were trying to sleep off the sickness, so he took a chance.

* * *

Derick finally had arrived at Queen's Palace. The quaint little villa along the countryside of the city he would soon come to learn and love. He stepped out of his car and walked calmly up to the main doors, which opened automatically for him. Two maids hurried down the hall as he walked by, setting things down before bowing and welcoming him. As they rose, one quickly took off the down opposite way he was going, probably to announce his entrance. He calmly walked through the open foyer, looking out onto the open balcony looking over the city. Two chairs were set up on said balcony, a table with a wine glass and a beer already sitting awaiting their drinkers. He could heels click on the wooden floors to his left, and could see two feminine forms walk down another hallway. The maid behind him moved up next to him and bowed as his sister walked into the light, smiling softly.

"Welcome back Ms. Castoria" the maids chanted, quickly moving to take the girl's jacket and hat. Monika Castoria, formerly Liecastor, was a rather young woman of power. She could pull your soul out of your throat and make sure she knew everything within in. She was known to be a very behind-doors information broker, with connections into everything, with the only exception being the police force. Her late father told her to keep it be. She was a proud age of 23, and knew that her brother needed her now more than ever. Derick looked at her oddly as she tossed her mouse brown hair around, letting it tumble down her back in its trademark waves.

"Castoria?" She looked at him, giving a smile.

"You were arrested, brother. I couldn't be associated to you or risk losing everything" she said, walking toward the balcony and took her seat, wrapping a hand around the stem of her wine glass.

"I'm rather surprised your gang kept itself together. For such a young man to keep such control behind bars…"

"Is a feat any older man could never dream of accomplishing" Derick put in gripping his beer and taking a long sip.

They spent a bit of time catching up on random subjects, seeing that the last time they saw each other was a few days before his arrest. Monika was open on some things she had begun to work on; patching into the work places of the friends of the boys he hunted, and making sure they didn't leave the city. She was a busy bee for her information network netted through the city. Though she steered into the main point as quickly as she could.

"Who are you looking for exactly, anyway? Tracking these things needs some sort of lead"

Derick set his now empty beer now, but it was quickly replaced by a fresh, cold one on Monika's hand. HE took a hard gulp and explained his story.

"These faggots are the reason I'm asking for your help. One of them was the real reason I was put behind bars, because my 'treatment' to help him was apparently too rough. One is named Feliciano Vargas, the other Ludwig Beilschmidt. Ludwig was an old…'friend' you can call him, who I tried to help. Honestly, faggots seemed to be hard-headed"

"Amen, brother. Now, this Feliciano. This couldn't be the Feliciano making headlines now could it?" Derick nearly threw his beer on the balcony wood. HE spat out his current mouthful of the poison and looked bewildered at his loving sister.

"Recently…" she said, standing out holding her arms out around her view of the city, "he and a Ludwig have made headlines for surviving not just a suicide attempt but a severe car accident. Both happened after you were jailed. Well, the car accident was the day you found you're way out"

"Bullshit" he spat, shoving his chair back. Monika looked back at him with a sharp gaze.

"The car crash happened not 1000 feet from the facility you were held in. Those boys have gained some attention. Even now, they hope to find you and make sure you get nowhere near them. The fags have gotten a fanbase…and defensive fans. You should see the pictures of what happened when they left the hospital after the crash"

Monika lifted a few small pictures to him, smirking as she walked up to the banister, smiling as Derick's face twisted form interest to utter disgust. These people supported them? They took pictures, captioning them with their support. They were so wrong, so demented. They never realized how many lives they fucked up for being together, for being gay. He tossed the pictures away, all of them except one landing face down. The one landing face up was one of them kissing. Monika walked up and stomped down on the upright picture.

"Finding them will be easy, and getting them alone easier. The final question though, is which one is the true target"

Derick and Monika smirked coldly at each other. This is why he loved her. She shared in his views like his symmetrical twin, and controlled with a cold fist. Down to earth and not afraid to shoot you or blackmail you to get what she wanted. They were truly family, proud Liecastors. He told a strong hold of one of her shoulders, and leaned in to whisper directly into her ear, letting his breath linger down her neck.

"I want Feliciano to learn what it means to fuck with us"

She sneered like a villain at him, and gripped the hand on her shoulder. She looked out to the town once more, and nodded.

"Then it's settled. I'll send my men to run a review. I'll send you what you need. You'll have him within the day." She turned to her young brother and pressed a soft kiss on his forehead.

"I will not fail the King until the family collapses into ruin"

* * *

Roderich and Sebastian quickly finished fixing the little bird's nest. As they were gathering things to fix it with, they actually were attacked by the assumed parents of the bird, seeing that they looked rather angry that the baby was nowhere to be seen. They looked similar to the baby too, so they made great haste to fix it. They set their materials and quickly weaved and stabbed, stuck and shoved the min until the nest looked like it should. They took the baby bird and set him gently inside, where he started to cry. Two loud, high chirps echoed him from outside.

"Go on and put the nest in one of the trees. I'll clean up" Roderich offered. Sebastian took the nest carefully in his hands and walked outside, almost immediately flanked by mama and papa bird. Roderich peeked at him as he tried to climb one of the tree while being pecked at by one of the.

"Alright, alright! Just let me put him in the damn tree!"

Roderich smiled, and moved on to cleaning up the random bits left over from their reconstruction of the nest. He really didn't have to do a lot, but it seemed that Sebastian would be working for a while to make sure he didn't get attacked out of the tree. As he wandered into the kitchen to grab something to eat, he could hear the front door open and close.

"Romulus? Arminius?" he called out, but got no response. He quickly grabbed for something, the closest thing being a skillet, and walked out with it gripped in his hands. If this wasn't them, he was in trouble.

He turned the corner, and was sharply kicked, sending him down but not out. These were NOT anyone he knew. He got up and swung the frying pan, trying to hit the masked man, but swung wide, missing him and hitting something fragile. It shattered into pieces, making a large noise. The three men now running at him looked like assassins almost. He rose the pan as one man grabbed for it, swinging it and connecting with his arm, sending it back. On man got his arms around him, and tossed the pan to another, and quickly slammed him into a wall. He struggled against him, and was able to shove him off for a few precious seconds before another grabbed him, stronger the n the last, and covered his mouth and nose with a sweet-smelling cloth.

He struggled as the scent captured him, until it completely lulled him out. The intruders set unconscious Roderich up against the wall, and were about to split up when Sebastian came back in. The three quickly froze, and watched as Sebastian rushed for a weapon. They were on him quickly. Sebastian threw the quickest object he found find, a butter knife, at one of them, jamming it into one of their shoulders, but they came at him, slamming him down hard to the ground, only end up in a wrestling match. The one thing Sebby was good at was floor wrestling. He kept their weapons away from, and was able to pin them all down, until two more men rushed inside, and dragged him off them, and slammed into the kitchen counters, cracking a few with his face.

"Nice try, Sebastian" a feminine voice hissed in his ear, before slamming his face once more into the tiles. He then was lifted up by his hair. He started to yell out, but a cloth covered his nostrils completely, and the bottom of a hand covered his mouth, keeping him silent. He bit down on it, trying to fight away, but the woman's grip and hold was firm. The smell of the cloth was getting to him big time, and soon he found himself slowly meeting blackness. His head slumped forward as the inhalant worked its magic, knocking him out. The woman smirked and basically tossed the boy to one of the men awaiting commands. They set him up against the same wall Roderich was on. She slowly pulled off her mask, and huffed out something to the men, who spread out around the house.

Monika Castoria was closer then she thought to her target.

* * *

Arminius and Romulus had gone to visit and round up everyone. If they were going to get them back to full strength, they would need their friend army. Arminius went for Elizabeta, Iryna and Iryna's sister Natalia, who seemed a miracle worked in home remedies. They were picked up from the hospital. Romulus was given the car and picked up everyone else with varying reason on why they were pulled from work. Lovino, Antonio, and Gilbert reluctantly followed after him, worried because nothing had changed, and Francis, and his younger sister Jennifer who asked if she could help in any way.

The two parties, now ready with everyone, met up at the large outlet mall. They needed supplies, so why not the mall? They were ordered to buy supplies they absolutely needed, and given money. They split off quickly, but not five minutes into it, when Francis and Jennifer plastered themselves to one of the clothing storefronts that Arminius and Romulus feared that this was a bad thing from the start.

They helped quickly those who swayed from their goals, particularly Francis and Jennifer, and soon was gathering up last minute things and going for a free-for-all because they had finally gotten what they needed.

Now they had to worry albeit because now they would lose their French friends and that Gilbert had money to go spend it on anything. Well, they knew what he got when they found that the mall had gone into a full blown Nerf Dart War and they found Lovino crying, sitting in a pile of darts outside of one of the Nerf stores.

"I lost…Gil was so fast and…and his army was so ruthless…" he wailed, and then they were flanked by Antonio, completely decked out in gear and guns. He helped Lovino out of the depressing whole of failing in a dart war. Arminius and Romulus were handed guns, and told to stand read yin the face of Gilbert's chibi army that could invade their part of the mall.

Yeah, this was going to be a really fun time.

* * *

They made quick time knocking those fools, and now were searching the home for anything. Some of these doors had serious locks, so it would be taking a while until these locks were broken. Monika looked through some of the photos lying around the home, spread out in front of her. Some of these were old, the kids small. She did however recognize Ludwig and Feliciano as little ones. They were clinging to each other. Once a queer, always a queer. Some of these pictures though made her think. One was a very hurried picture, one they found in Arminius's open study, blurred at the edges like the cameraman had started to run. It looked like it was Ludwig, maybe about fourth, maybe fifth grade getting off of a prison bus. Could that be the old Reform school bus? The one they stopped using because they relocated the reform school? He was covered in cut and bruises, and his wrists….

Did Ludwig really start diving into such things so young?

"Ma'am, the second party is reporting in. The family is leaving the mall. We have little time left. The Vargas sweep was clean, no one there."

Damn it. She dropped the photo and started to pace. They HAD to be behind one of the locked doors. Something above them snapped, and an orderly came down with a smile all over his face.

"We got one of the doors open, Ms. Castoria, and we think got 'em both"

"Perfect. Show me"

She was lead down the second floor hallway, and ushered into one of the rooms. On the lone bed inside rested Ludwig, easily distinguished by his hair, looking rather….ill.

"Why the hell does he look horrible?" she asked, placing the back of her hand on his forehead. A wet towel slid down from his shoulder. Ahh, Asian fever treatment. He did feel hot, and with the rather pasty looking skin, and flushed face, he wouldn't expect Feliciano to be any better. She sighed and ran a hand through his hair, watching as his face scrunched up, turning to one side, breathing heavy.

"Luddy….if you only knew what you're sexuality would end up doing to you…."

"Ma'am, we finally got the other door open" another one of her men called out. "It looks like Feliciano's in here"

She grinned. She patted Ludwig's head and leaned in close, feeling his damp breath tickle her.

"Now let me really show you what it means to fuck with my brother"

She stood up and sauntered out, going into the threshold of Feli's room. She looked over her shoulder as she leaned into the frame.

"Make sure Ludwig's room stays locked. And keep him down too. We don't want the family to think he failed to do anything, right?"

* * *

The collection of family and friends came home with their remedies and supplies, and WAY too many Nerf guns and bullets. It was a rather fun time, honestly. Jennifer and Francis had come out the only people untouched from the Nerf War, coming home with a bounty of clothes and fancy things. Even Natalia, who had a rather cold shell, enjoyed herself, proudly wielding a rather impressive Nerf sniper rifle and the title of Nerf Champion Queen by finishing off Gilbert and his army with a strike of Arminius and Romulus, who carried the title Nerf Champion Generals. Gilbert pouted because he lost the war he started, but with the guns they had, they could re-stage it easy.

As they pulled up to the house, Lovino had that feeling again; evil, haunting foreboding. He warned the family about the feeling, and Arminius jumped out quickly, and unlocked the front door. Lovino's feeling was right; something BAD happened, something _very very bad_ happened here while they were gone.

The house was in shambles, everything thrown to the floor, pictures all collected up on the coffee table. Things form rooms upstairs were thrown down on the first floor ground. To top of the horrible mess, Roderich and Sebastian were out cold, bound and gagged, propped up on the back of the couch. Gilbert and Natalia rushed for the bound boys, the Belorussian girl tossing him a knife to cut Roderich free. The others didn't know what to do, they were absolutely stunned at the mess and chaos. Lovino and Romulus ran upstairs, already knowing that it was connected to the boys. Romulus stumbled for the key to unlock Feli's bedroom.

"COME ON!" Romano shrieked, and as they burst into the room, tears flying and screams of 'No' flew, the house knew that they had been robbed.

Feliciano was nowhere to be found, and the only thing to lead them to who took him was a crumbled note replacing Feli's spot.

_'Let faggots rest where they should: in Hell. Liecastor hopes you're all doing well'_

* * *

_****Jennifer is Monaco, Natalia is Belarus for reminders later****_

_**Do not hurt me! *runs off* Just remember to review, and stuff! *continues to run as flying bricks come after me***_


	18. Inside the Black Circus

_**I'm sorry for the long wait! I had a bit of writer's block, but I got through it! Have a new chapter, the longest one to date!**_

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'Circus Monster' by Vocaloid CUL and 'Falling Inside the Black' by Skillet-**_

* * *

The damage was done. After finding the note in Feliciano's bed and nearly destroying the house again, Natalia called the police, bringing almost the entire force to their home. Roderich and Sebastian were outside on one of the ambulances getting checked out just in case whoever came here did something worse to them. Everyone, including Natalia and Jennifer, were being interrogated inside the house. The detectives took Jennifer and Natalia to a different location, and Francis and Antonio to another, leaving the actual Beilschmidt and Vargas families.

The Interrogations took a while, the police not leaving a single gap in the time frame of the kidnapping, but they weren't happy with results. It was easily set up, and that brought up a good point. Whoever took Feli had connections, ones that told them where everyone was going to be at exact times. The families gave them the only solid evidence they had, the note, and forensics would take a look at it, for fingerprints, DNA, anything to ID whoever took them. There was only one problem with doing so.

"It would take about four, five, days until we had solid results"

"FOUR DAYS?!"

Ludwig would not stand for waiting four or five days to see if there was anything on the damn note and if there wasn't any evidence on it what then? Would they call it a closed case, and just shove it back? Never actually look for him? He was furious, even though he was still fighting a bad cold, demanding something be done, a search or something, maybe look up if any kidnappings or disappearances were similar to this, anything to get the process going faster, but the police had nothing else on the matter. They would run forensics on the note, and hopefully find him or her. One police officer said he look into the disappearances files and see if anything matched up, but Ludwig and the family were doubtful. They left with all they could bag and tag as evidence, including one leftover cloth used to subdue one of the boys, and left the family to clean up.

Cleaning didn't take long, and just as everything looked good again, Ludwig snapped.

"GOD DAMMIT!" he slammed his fist into the kitchen table, leaving scuff marks. "FUCK, this can't be HAPPENING!"

The families watched in painful silence as Ludwig struggled to keep it all down, planting his hands flat on the table before curling them up into fists, slamming them down once more and stalking out, clutching his head.

"This can't be happening, it can't! I just…" Iryna stepped out of the pack, drawing everyone's eyes to her. Ludwig looked away from them, just swaying around before dropping to his knees, sobbing out everything. He set his burning forehead on the cold floor, letting everything come out in gross, tear soaked sobs. Iryna silently walked around him, taking a seat on her knees in front of him, wordlessly setting a hand on one of his folded under his chest. Ludwig looked up at her, stared for a moment, and launched himself into her arms, sobbing into her midsection. Iryna slowly petted at Ludwig's wild hair, whispering in soft Russian.

It had been so long since this had happened, and Arminius, Romulus, Gilbert, Natalia and Feliciano could defend this. A long time ago, in Ludwig's past, when he found no solace from bullying and fighting, he came to the next larger figure he could find to help him. Iryna had basically helped her sibling through life, and she opened her arms and doors to the bullied third grader that one day wandered up to her and asked for shelter. Ever since, when he would get bullied or teased, hit or beaten, or emotionally scarred, he would go to her for help. He loved to come over just to talk everything out, to let her be the first to know for he was afraid of everyone else knowing his troubles. She was the small beacon he had for a while, and she tried her best to help him through it all. She was the one who told Arminius about it all, and how he always worried that if he told him he would just be hurt too.

Now, at 17 and no longer the small child he was, he could barely fit in her lap, though he seemed satisfied in just keeping part of him in his lap, keeping his arms around her and sobbing into her stomach. Arminius pushed through the crowd and kneeled down next to him. Iryna dug a hand into Ludwig's hair, leaning down to whisper the only phrase he ever learned to understand in Russian.

"ты в невредимый. У меня для тебя теперь [You're safe. I got you now]" she whispered, watching as she slowly rose her head that Ludwig did the same, but decided only to raise it enough the he could keep his head in her lap, turning his body that he could lay down like this. This is what he would do, even back then, until Arminius would come along and pick him up. Arminius was already waiting for him, but Ludwig did not move. He looked up at him, and snuggled back into Iryna's lap.

Natalia, Lili, and Gilbert stayed in the kitchen, watching over them as the rest of them retreated into the living room, not really knowing what to do after the display. They just….sat around, unable to really think of anything to do. Lovino was still trying to wrap his head around the whole Iryna-Ludwig friendship thing. Romulus was happy to explain.

"From what I was told, little one, when Ludwig was young and being constantly bullied and beaten up, called names and emotionally scarred, he looked for someone older to cling to for help. He didn't tell his family because he was afraid that they would reject it and not help. He eventually found Iryna when he was trekking home after an after-school beating. She offered solace and protection, and every time he would be hurt or need help he would come to her. They've been near inseparable because of that. She's a bit of a mother figure, if you want to call it that. She understood him and helped him come out to Arminius and Gilbert, even Feli when the issue of feelings came to life in his early years"

"Wait…even as little kids, they liked each other?" Sebastian asked, joining in. France and Jennifer almost leaned into it. Roderich didn't exactly join in, but if he learned anything from his rebellious boyfriend, he was keeping an ear open.

"Yes. The one thing I kept silent from you two. They were young, just into first maybe second grade. Things were easier, and our family and the Beilschmidt family didn't hate each other. You, Lovino, were already independent, living with your late grandmother, and Sebby, so young then, was with under the care of his late mother. Feli and Luddy seemed to click when they first met, and seemed to be friends with the rest of them. Gilbert, Lili, even Basch. Even you Roderich, yes I know what you looked like so young. You rarely visited but you liked to make sure that Feli wasn't getting in trouble"

"I don't deny it or the fact that the two of them basically dated when they were young" Roderich said, and returned to watching the window, keeping his mind busy to drive away the fact of Feli's disappearance.

"They would play together, and bound tighter each day, up until we moved into the old town and Ludwig had to make up the fourth grade. We left the same time Ludwig left for reform school. Lovino, you should remember that"

"He would stop bawling and crying for his 'little german friend'"

"Right. That was after….our friendship dissolved. But it's long history now"

The living room went back into odd silence. No one had anything else to say. Back in the kitchen, Iryna and Natalia were getting Ludwig finally out of the dark shell he had started to put around himself. He was still in no mental place to go searching for Feli, but it was his only demand. Nobody had any clue what to do, but he was reliving what would happen as a child, going back to ways he felt comfortable with, not ready to face the real big problems. Natalia kneeled down where Arminius once was and caught Ludwig's eyes.

"привет [Hello] Natalia…." Ludwig said softly. Natalia let a small smile grace her lips. He really had basically gone back to the days of staying at their home, getting everything out he could not in his house or at school. Natalia set a hand on his head, and he seemed to nuzzle into it.

"It's been a long time since we saw him like this…." Prussia whispered, standing with Arminius guarding them, watching the others try to start something up to distract them from the overwhelming sorrow and disappointment in the house.

"He overwhelmed himself, this whole situation did. He couldn't keep himself together…..so he came back to something familiar, something he could cling to"

"It worries me Arminius. If we can't find Feliciano….would he be like this for good? Would he recover, or sink back into depression, try to take his life again?" the words came out bitter and sour, something Gilbert hoped he would never have to say again. Arminius shook his head, unable to answer. Everything for now was so high up in the air; no one could predict what would be their fate when it ended, if it ever did. Both of them looked over their shoulders at Ludwig, who was finally sitting up, wiping away disobedient tears still stuck in the corners of his eyes.

"Hey brother…." Gilbert said with a smile, glad his brother was getting collected and calmed. Ludwig looked up at his family, then back to Natalia and Iryna next to him. He sighed deeply.

"We need to get him back"

"We know" everyone said in the kitchen. The feeling was entirely mutual, though the way Ludwig felt over it all and the loss of his soul mate while he was only a single room away…..they couldn't understand the entire emotional toll. Ludwig sat for a while, looking like he was thinking, while the others seemed to do the same thing. Even in the living room, where people were turning on the TV and avoiding the news networks at all cost because they knew that their local stations would be reporting Feliciano's disappearance and abduction. Lovino was in thought, thinking like he was in place of the kidnappers. He had a bit of an idea and walked into the kitchen.

"You guys thinking about any way we can get leads?" Lovino asked, noting that Ludwig had moved from the floor and Iryna's lap to the top of the table, flat on his back, hands on his face in what looked like defeat. Everyone in there chorused a 'no'. Lovino let out an annoyed huff of air, until Ludwig sat straight up, looking like he found a way to prove Einstein's theory of relativity wrong. He pointed at Lovino with a sharp finger.

"You know how a mafia works right?" Lovino smirked for a moment before looking hurt.

"Are you doubting my skills Ludwig? I should feel dismayed by your doubt, but….." His smirk grew into a full on Cheshire cat grin, and Ludwig returned it back. The family in the kitchen got sudden shivers, and the family in the living room watched in complete fascination (though Romulus was horrified to know that his oldest son knew about that sort of thing) as Lovino started to spill all he knew, building to one solid peak.

"Depending on the mafia, The Boss will either run his own information network or have a close ally work an information network for him"

"So….it's possible that Derick's a Mafia Leader..."

"Yes" Francis, coming straight into the kitchen joined in suddenly after Lovino's confirmation.

"Hasn't their been an increase in organized crime movement? Ever since the convicts bolted that night, big crime syndicates possibly in or around the city have been more active. A group by the name...what was it...oh! It was Lier's Den."

"There's our connection, because come on. It's too close to be not connected. How'd you know that?" Lovino asked, actually quite amazed that they already found out this much.

"News did a report on it last week. I'm surprised you didn't know"

"Okay so...Derick, A Mafia Boss for a group by the name of Lier's Den, used an information network to get us all apart and get Feli?" Ludwig gathered about that much. The entire conversation on Lovino's knowledge numbed him a bit, and it made him feel a bit better.

"That's what I am saying. So…." Ludwig made the connection, stood up and smiled wide again.

"We find the info broker, we find Feli!"

* * *

Feliciano's head hurt like nothing he had ever felt, pounding like he had been beaten again, reliving the merciless attacks by Derick and his friends. His body still felt heavy and weak, his arms the worst of it. He thought he could feel bruises, lining up in a neat row along his shoulders and wrists. His head still felt like it was spinning on a never-ending axis. God, his head hurt and….something smelled sweet. He could smell….no….NO!

He woke up as fast he could, pushing at the cloth pressed at his face. He had to get it away! He knew that smell! He remembered something his brother taught him about that smell. It was chloroform, a clear, sweet-smelling liquid used by criminals, both self-employed and mafia-related, even criminals who just wanted to kill you or knock you out, to knock out, daze or even kill. It was one of the easiest ways to also kidnap and steal away people of interest to a lone criminal or organized group.

Whoever was keeping the cloth pressed against him struggled to keep it on, Feli's spastic movements against the binding he found himself actually keeping the cloth hovering over him. He kept his mouth closed and kept himself from smelling it. He did not want to be under the influence of that possibly fatal smell anymore. Others were starting to shout and yell at him, their hands gracing his skin. Pulling and grabbing it to keep him calm. He tried to scream, wanting to voice everything, but found his mouth unable to utter out anything. He was gagged, and pretty well. Someone shouted over the men, shutting their mouths and letting Feli go. He squirmed for a second before pressing himself against a mental wall. That wasn't a wall…..Feli looked finally to his surroundings. He was in a cage, a fucking dog crate! He kept on pressing against the bars, confused and utterly horrified that he was here, until the crowd of men around him dispersed, a lone female in what looked like a fancy Hollywood-style dress. She could kneel down in front of him, showing off not just what she offered if she were a prostitute but a rather serrated and long knife on her thigh.

"Hello Feliciano. I'm glad to see that you're awake" the woman seemed nice, trying to keep him calm, but her not unlocking his cage? He slammed into the front, making her step back.

"Let me out!" his words were muffled into mute grunts behind the gag. Spit coated it to make it a gross-darkened silk mess. It started to drip down his chin, but one of the woman's nails trailed up his neck and over his chin, catching the line of water before it fell farther. He shivered under the touch, trying to push himself away from her. She had a hard grip on his shirt, keeping him up against the bars.

"Look here, Feli baby. I have in no way any plans to let you go. I went through a lot of trouble and lots of chloroform to get you here, nice and comfortable, in your own cage. I got you here unharmed, and you should be grateful for that fact alone. Maybe you should glad that I didn't kill your boyfriend"

Feli gasped, pushing back against the hold on him. She had gotten near Ludwig, she was in their house. She could have killed or captured everyone he loved. He started to fall servant to the sorrow and fear, tears falling off their perches and sliding down in swift little streams. The woman's face softened, wiping away his tears. His sobs came once more muffled into the soaked gag. He couldn't believe this woman would threaten everything, and steal him away. What was Ludwig doing? What was the town doing? What would happen now that he was in her hands? He bit down on the gag, trying to keep himself from showing anything more vulnerable to her, but found the gag slowly being released off his cheeks. Was she taking it off? He let go of it and it slowly slid away, now in the hands of the woman.

"I think you don't need this anymore. Now…how are you feeling Feli?"

Feli scooted back, seeing that he was no longer being held to the front of the cage. As he settled away from her, he curled himself us and looked at her from the shelter of his knees.

"My head hurts…." He mumbled. He still felt sick and terrible, only kept from it with the lost adrenaline. She sighed and picked something up from out of his field of sight. She handed what looked like a water bottle tinted pink through the bars. He looked at it for a moment, then back at her in disbelief. Did she really think we was going to take it? She sighed and set it down on the floor of the metal cell.

"It's a medicine to help with your cold and fever. It may taste like cough syrup but besides that it's nothing harmful, I promise. You don't want to stay sick, right?"

Feli looked conflicted. Could he trust her word? He scooted closer to her and grabbed the bottle, uncapping it and smelling it cautiously. It did smell like medicine, it made him cringe. He sighed however and took a swallow of it, coughing as it went down. Gah, cherry-flavored medicine. At least it wasn't cinnamon. He looked at the bottle and once more back to the woman, who was smiling. She nodded at the bottle and he knew he would have to take one more drink. He shuddered and brought it to his lips, taking a mouthful of it before he let his eyes drop to the opening door in the background. He promptly spat out the mouthful of medicine on to the metal floor, dropping the bottle without caring if it spilled out everything.

Derick had walked in.

The woman cursed out loud in French, and picked up the spilling bottle as Feli tried to hack out any leftover fluid in his mouth, fearing that Derick had done something to it. He knew he could do it, he spiked a Gatorade he gave him once, and the next thing he remembered after drinking it was waking up in the nurse's office with nonno, the nurse and the principal yelling at him and about him.

"Relax, Feli, relax" the woman cooed, trying to soothe him, but only seemed to make it worse. Feli backed himself as far away as he could from Derick, yelling and crying out and pleading in Italian, one of the few languages both of them didn't know.

"You! Pensavo che fossi in galera, rinchiuso per bene per il muto merda che hai fatto! Questo non può essere vero, questo non è possibile! Voglio uscire, fatemi uscire! Si prega di non farmi del male, per favore! Derick, perché hai fatto questo, basta per favore non farlo più per me Ti supplico! Mi dispiace per averti ti incarcerato e-" [You! I thought you were in jail, locked up for good for the dumb shit you'd done! This can not be true, this is not possible! I want out, LET ME OUT! Please don't hurt me, please! Derick, why did you do this, just please do not do more to me I beg you! I'm sorry for getting you imprisoned and-]

"SHUT UP!" Derick roared out, stunning the Italian into whimpers and silence. Derick sighed in relief and walked up to the face of the cage, peering at Feliciano who curled up on himself to keep himself guarded from Derick. He smiled softly on him, a sight that made Feli shiver and shake. When he smiled, it never was good. It meant trouble for him and anyone that got in the way.

"Good, you know what to do. You remember, right?" Feli nodded feverishly at him, pressing himself farther away even though there was no room left for it. Derick smirked, chuckled under his breath and stood up and away from the cage. He turned to the woman and spoke softly.

"He looks good, unharmed besides the cold. Reasoning for it Monika?"

"Apparently, he went out in the last storm for a bit, got both himself and Ludwig sick. It was a rather good advantage to get him in and out without struggle. I have the full report for how it went" she said, and looked back down at Feli. He was cowering still, looking at the drying, sticky puddle of pink medicine. Nothing had happened to him yet, and he looked like he was a kicked puppy. He looked up at her for a breath's moment, and then retreated his eyes back to his hands.

"Good to know. Get him inside, get him….ready. I'll be down in a moment's notice after a bit of work"

Derick stalked off, giving Feliciano one look over before leaving out of his sight. Monika grabbed the medicine bottle and nodded at the at-hand workers she had left in the room. Slowly, the cage was lifted off the ground and followed her down the hall. Feli tried not to move as the cage shook on the shoulders of its bearers. Feli kept sunken eyes at Monika's head.

"Where am I going?" he asked. Monika looked over her shoulder, sky blue eyes clouded in so many emotions, though hate suddenly bubbling over it all, turning them an almost hazy blue.

"Where you belong and will learn to love for a bit. In chains, with the world just out of your grasp" Feli's eyes widened into impossible brown orbs, screaming out in Italian, afraid of the soon-to-come arrangements. They let him scream, tire out his voice until is entirely hoarse and coarse. They get to a small room with very minimal furniture, looking over the town. They must be in one of the high apartments overlooking the city; ones that Feli thought were rather ridiculous. They set his cage down in front of the open observatory, completely made of glass, even the floor. He could see everything in the city below him. He slammed down on the cage floor, hoping the glass would break.

"No point, little Feli. It's one way, bulletproof glass, pretty strong so tons of furniture could be placed on it. You're not falling out of this trap" he turned around to find Derick had returned, carrying chains and locks in one readied hand. He shuddered and pressed himself away. Derick kept them in his hand, opening the cage door with a key he dug out of his pocket. He grabbed Feli by the collar and roughly dragged him out, slamming his head down on the glass. He tugged Feli up, ignoring that his nose was bent at a odd angle. Feli refused to let a sound out, but the tears could not be held back. As he was slammed to the ground on his butt, two men from before that carried him here took the crate away.

"Now…..the beautiful thing about this besides the view is that this entire thing can't be seen from the outside. When your disgusting boyfriend tries to search for you, he won't see you" Derick whispered in his ear. Feli spent the entire time shaking and whimpering, the sounds coming out oddly due to his nose. Derick started to strap the chains on him and on the floor. As he cuffed his right ankle, Feliciano knew what he could do. He could move up and down, and walk a few feet, but he was rooted to the room, only able to look at the door or down into the city. As he took off the rope bindings, Feli's hands went for his nose, not knowing what to do with it.

"My nose…" he wheezed. Derick looked over him to his face and smirked. He grabbed his shirt again, twirling him around and shoving his hands away. He grabbed the broken thing and twisted it, Feli's throat letting loose a shriek, trying to back away from his nail-biting grip on his arms. He turned it one way, then the other, and set it back forward.

"There you faggot. I'll be back for…..the start of your time here" Derick left his cryptic message hang and left without another look back. Feli cried out as he clutched his fixed nose, watching people mill down the streets below. His cryptic sentence left him scared even more then awaiting his usual beating before school. He let his nose go, wiping the blood from it on his jeans and curled up.

He was in the hands of Liecastor and his close friend Monika, bound to a place so close to home and Ludwig and yet no one but those who came in to help, hurt, or torture him would know of his existence in the city. He cried into his knees and arms until he found himself asleep against the cool glass.

He wanted to go back in the cage, he had protection there. Here….he was visible and vulnerable to Derick's wrath. even though he stayed cryptic, he knew he was going to get beaten by Derick. He wouldn't just let him stay here.

He wanted to go back home.

* * *

_**I hope my translations were okay, I have to use Google Translate for things other than German.**_

_**How'd I do?**_


	19. Crimson Bow and Arrow

_**I had to finish this fast. In celebration of the near two mouth anniversary of this fanfiction and hitting over 4k views (also on 100 reviews, but we're stuck on 99 *cries*) I present another chapter! I hope you don't hate me by the end of this...**  
_

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'Guren no Yumiya (Official FULL version)' by Linked Horizon for the anime 'Attack on Titan'-**_

* * *

Morning came soundless for Feliciano. He calmly woke up, eyes downcast to the already busy streets below him. People unaware of the danger looming over them continued on without him, talking and chatting, hailing cabs and going in and out of shops. He could spot the gelato shop and students milling in and out and around the Hetalia lounge. Students…..school was starting up again. He was missing school and Ludwig….

The tears hit the glass and collected into a tiny puddle before he sat up and rubbed furiously at his eyes. His body warned him not to sharply move like that again, or risk more pain. He sighed sadly into his hands and set them against the glass, and twisted himself to look out of his glass cage. The memories of last night came back in soft waves, covering the glass with their imprinted films. Derick was relentless, brutal and sadistic. His followers hid behind masks of blank expressions, simply following his barked orders. He kicked and punched at him, slamming him into objects and making sure he got the message that he was his and his alone. He did not belong with or around Ludwig. He got the message, yes, but he did not believe it. That's when he broke out a fucking whip, and brought Monika in to use it on him only once. He got it in him, and he was brought back here after being cleaned up.

He still did not believe that he was just Derick's punching bag. He belonged with Ludwig, and not with this sick sadistic fuck.

He shivered as the memory faded back into the confines of his mind, giving back his view of the city. He wiggled his bound ankle, feeling the cold metal hit his skin and the chain jingle in time with it hitting the glass with soft sounds. He didn't want to look down at his body, or feel anything on him. His shirt was removed out of his possession, leaving him to bear with the cold air. He was immensely glad that he still had his pants. It meant that he could keep his treasured innocence, for now. He knew if Derick was already at this, trying to make him believe things, he would go for his treasured protected innocence. He looked back down at the city, keeping an eye on the Hetalia lounge-café, trying to see if he could spot anyone he knew. As the minutes went by and the students cleared out and headed out, back to the school ground, he found no one he recognized. Where were all his friends?

"Good morning Feli…."

Monika was here. He bit back a snarl, and pivoted to see her close the door. She was….less than professional today. She was rocking a blue tank top and grey sweatpants; completely disobeying Derick's observed strict dress code. She was carrying what looked like a tray of food. She set it down on the small little counter space in the room, and started her way toward him.

"Good morning Ms. Monika…" he said just loud enough for her to hear. She shook her head and kneeled down in front of him. He slid back a few inches, afraid of what would happen. She did whip him in the name of Derick, so he expected anything from her.

"No need to Ms. Monika me, faggot…"

"Don't call me that…"

"A faggot? You are one right, or was my information wrong?" Feli looked down at the city, biting his lip. He didn't know if he should continue on, but he knew if he didn't he would be beaten for sure.

"I am gay, but don't use that word….it hurts…." He kept his eyes down, hoping that he wouldn't feel her hand when she slapped him, or when she would start hurting him for defending himself. He sat there curled up, waiting for the inevitable onslaught. Monika watched him for a few moments, hearing her heart pound against her chest. She knew what had to be done, but found herself unable to move. She knew her brother would not have hesitated.

"….Okay Feli. I'll take it into consideration" Feli looked up sharply at her, unable to understand. Did she….actually not hit him, or threaten, but actually took it? He shook his head, tears springing loose. She hushed him, wiping the tears before he could.

"I find myself hesitating, that's all. Derick….when he's here, I am not kind do you understand?" Feli nodded quickly, watching as she stood up again and undid his chain connecting him to the floor. All the air in his lungs rushed out. He was…loose. He lifted his leg up, and laughed. He was free!

"I can only have that off while you eat. Derick instructed to have you eat on the floor but I refuse to follow such things. No man should be eating on the ground. Come on up here"

His heart sunk a bit but he stood up, shaking because the bruises on his legs still were fresh. He hobbled himself over, looking at Monika and then the tray of food. His stomach rumbled loud, and Monika let a little laugh out. It was simple honestly, just some scrambled eggs, glass of orange juice, bowl of grapes. Nothing fancy.

"Why are you being nice….and disobeying him? You didn't when you whipped me" he asked, pulling the tray closer to him and shoveling his breakfast. The eggs were lightly peppered, but he could stand it. A stray thought of 'is this touched by Derick' crossed his mind, but it was pushed aside. He was hungry, and needed food. As he swallowed the last of it, Monika answered, handing him the glass.

"I…..guess you can say I have splitting opinions, a split feeling for this"

"Yet you brought me to him….." She looked at him as he drank half of the orange juice, and grabbed for the bowl of grapes.

"I….know. Come on! Finish up, he'll be in here soon" Feli took quick haste in finishing up, swallowing the last of his food and walking back to the glass observatory serving as his home. She attached the chain again and left with a scowl on her face, muttering something about 'playing tricks on her'. She was weird to him. She was cruel and nice, devious and considerate. A split personality, unable to figure out which one was the real one. He sighed as the door locked closed, and flopped on to his back, staring up at the sky visible through the glass.

He spent maybe a half hour staring up at the sky until the door opened again, Derick storming in and yanking him to his face.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Feliciano didn't know what he had done, and denied any knowledge of what happened. Derick growled louder, and detached him from his binds and threw him across the room, slamming him into the metal door. He lost consciousness for the few vital moments he needed and lost any chance of fighting back. Derick came back at him, kicking him in the stomach and yelling at him over and over the same question.

What did he do?

"WHAT DID I DO, What happened?!" he yelled back, finally putting his arms up in defense. Derick smirked, keeping his hands curled up. He grabbed him by the arms, tugging him and tossing onto the counters, keeping him pinned by his hands.

"My sister….What did you do to Monika!? She's not herself, second guessing bot herself and me! WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Italy stared into Derick's rage-filled eyes. He was concerned, angry that his sister was going against him. He was mad and pointed every finger at him. He never liked rejection of his control, and for it to be family after all she did for him. Both seemed to stare at each other, panting. Italy swallowed the lump in his throat, and against everything he told himself to keep the rebellious thoughts down, he spoke his mind.

"I did nothing Derick. Your sister is just finally realizing it was wrong to follow you. She finally understood that you are nothing but a homophobic bully with too much power"

Derick's face lit up almost entirely red, roaring at as he wrapped his hands around Feli's neck, pulling him up for a single second before slamming him done on the counter, his cries lost in his rabid blood lust. He tightened his grip, ignoring the boy's cries and chokes of his windpipe closing. He threw him to the other side of the small kitchen, pinning his hands above his head, letting him breathe. He could only see red, and all he wanted to see was Feliciano in pieces, in bloodied, cut up pieces. His disgusting ways of loving another man should be punished. At least he had Feli in tears, shouting out for him to stop. It wasn't his grip on his hands. No, it was the hand sliding down to the waistband of his pants.

"No, no no no NO! STOP IT PLEASE!"

Derick didn't know why he felt like it. He craved blood, not lust. But something about taking away the last thing Feliciano kept sacred thrilled him, even though it was wrong in itself. He would be doing something against his morals, but ridding Feliciano of his last little light in this world got him over the issue. He slid his fingers into the clothing, Italy's wailing louder as it slowly slid off his hips, revealing more skin, more untouched, unmarked skin. They hung now just before it showed Italy's manhood. He found himself licking his lips at the thought of it, seeing everything and then hurting it and bruising it, making it his by his mark.

"Derick, please I beg you, don't! Please stop it!"

Derick stopped his advances for a moment, looking up at Feliciano, struggling and wriggling under his hands. Endless tears falling from those rich brown eyes. His toy, his only, begging for him to stop at all costs. Even with the bruises and welts from last night still standing clear on his skin, he looked like something priceless. He deserved to be broken. Priceless things can have hidden black marks, and his was unforgivable. He let a few hard sobs out, flexing his hands to try and break free of Derick's hard hold.

"P-please….Derick, don't do it…"

Derick looked up and down his prey. He would not hesitate like his sister. He would not fail his father's wishes. He would not fail Lier's Den and all it has done to keep the obvious homosexuals down where they belong. He would never let him go. He was his toy, his personal punching bag to hit as he saw fit. He deserved this. He deserved it all for his sickening relationship. He needed to learn what it felt like to be kept in a cage!

"Please….."

He will finally understand how he felt when he failed!

He slammed Feli into the wall again, making his cries louder. He smirked as he dug his hands into the fabric of his pants, and tugged them off, leaving him bare for him. He couldn't hear Feli's harder pleas, and we wouldn't. He did as he pleased, as he always did. This time he would make sure his message stayed in this faggot's head for good. He jammed a thumb into his mouth, silencing him for a moment. He bit down on the appendage, and his rage grew. He withdrew it, and clamped it down on his throat.

"You…..will not bite me or I will make sure you're disfigured instead of hurt. You will let me do this….or I will go after your disgusting boyfriend instead" Feliciano froze and through the tears, chocked pleas, and failing attempts of freeing himself, he nodded. Derick had his victory. He let Feli's neck go and went for his legs, trailing them down until they reached his manhood. Feli started yelling again but once more he did not hear the words he screamed at him. He wouldn't hear his voice after he stuck the wet thumb into him, or after he used him for the toy he was. He would always get what he wanted, no matter the costs to it. If he lost his sister because of this, he didn't care. He got to do this, to finally get it around his tiny mind that he belonged to him, that his disgusting faggot ways were wrong. That he would lose everything to him.

"STOP IT, STOP IT, TAKE IT OUT!"

Derick growled, once more not caring if he screamed his heart out of that throat. He moved his legs so that they were spread more. He needed to make it good for him. He did not pay attention to how Feli felt through it, and continued on until he entered him, earning stunned, gasping silence from the toy. What he needed, blissful silence, until he continued on, finally hearing his scream, the realization that now he had hurt everything in him. That his so protected innocence was his to claim. Even now, he continued to scream and whimper, all futile in the end.

"N-no..."

During this, Monika sat against the door, keeping back her own crying and sobs, tears soaking her sleeves and face. She could hear EVERYTHING. Every thrust, every cry for help that would not come, every single sound that permitted itself to be heard by her. Every single thing his brother had done to him, and yet she stayed to witness it all. She couldn't bring herself to help Feliciano. She let herself bear the punishment of her own for letting it happen. Because of her actions, because of her change, her brother did this to him. She was the reason for it. As it grew dead silent behind the door, she ran. She ran out of the facility, into the city. Out of the tainted tower she never wanted to step foot into ever again. She did not want to be there anymore. She was wrong to follow the King. He was no longer one, he was a twisted, sick man she failed to see. She let duty come before it, and now a young boy suffered rape because of it. She had to go home. she had to purge herself of her wrong-doings.

She would send the suffering families a hint. She did not want to be under his thumb anymore.

* * *

Ludwig didn't know why he even bothered with school. It haunted him just as much as home did. Their old meet-up spot stayed vacant. The school was all up in arms with Feliciano's abduction, telling students to keep an eye out for any of Derick Liecastor's fellow mob men and Derick himself. Students who did not pause when they walked by him and give their condolences stepped out of his way, watching him go in silence. He had barely made it through half of the day when he snapped, unable to take it all again.

"STOP WITH THE CONDOLENCES!"

The entire main auditorium stood in silence. His family, his closest friends who bear the same heaviness, did not look his way. They understood the reason to snap.

"It's NOT like he's DEAD! He's just been taken and I will NEVER understand why I came back HERE when I should be searching for him and Derick!"

The teachers on on-site campus supervisors even stood in silence at his outrage, watching the tears falling down his face be ignored. He seethed there, in the middle of the crowded room with all eyes on him. Those who knew about it stood up finally and pushed through the crowd until they surrounded him. The surrounding students watched as all of them, both effected families and the close friends who witnessed the aftermath and pain turned away from them all and left without a single argument or word. The teachers allowed it, even the principal, who stood at the podium let them go without another word on the matter.

They all gathered around Lovino and Germany when they were outside in the terrace littered grounds. They had a plan, and it would require a good amount of communication, persuasion and keen eyes. They were looking for near invisible people, those who could blend in but seem out of place. Anyone looking for information, and possibly information on them. Everyone knew that Ludwig still could be a target, and could be gathering information on him.

They were going to search for their information broker. They were going to start inside downtown, seeing that they should conquer the larger part of the city before moving on to the smaller parts of the town. It would be a long search, spending hours onto hours in the downtown and old town sections until they would meet up at dusk at Hetalia, and then move on to the darker, seedier parts. It was a risk they had to take to get Feliciano back.

They split up quickly after being given their areas, and entered the town, hell-bent on finding this broker. They kept to themselves, looking as casual as they could. They stood out a bit, asking people if they had seen any sort of suspicious activity around or if they had leads, but besides that they looked relaxed. Ludwig was having a hard time with it still, passing shops and places that brought back haunting visions at every turn. The willow tree in the park, where they finally made up and continued on. The gelato shop, where they had their first 'date' and started to make up. The small places they hung out and even the Hetalia shop, at the farthest booth, he could see himself, Feli, Eliza and Roderich sitting there talking and eating away. Everything haunted him. He needed to find this person soon….

He found himself sitting on one of the park benches, looking at the small children and their families milling around, enjoying the day. He found himself tied to a couple spending time to themselves in a secluded area just out of sight by the families. He wanted to do that with Feli, but now he found himself alone and extremely nostalgic. He set his head in his hands, looking down at the ground. He couldn't do anything, he couldn't find anyone, he found himself useless.

"Ludwig?"

He looked up to see a woman standing in front of him, clinging to her dirtied dark jacket. She was disheveled, her mouse brown hair tosses like it was in a windstorm. Her soft blue eyes looked at him with such age, such horror yet she looked young. She reminded him of the woman in his memory.

"Yes? Who would like to know?

She bit her lip for a moment, and looked up into the city. He turned in his spot to find her eyes looking at one of the large buildings, several large shrouded parts extended out. He looked back at her as she let a shudder of a breath out. she was shaking, tremoring until her entire body shook from it. He stood up to help her calm, until one of her leather-bound hands pressed to his chest.

"The information broker…..you've been searching for…"

* * *

Feliciano couldn't feel anything. He could barely look up from his spot in the kitchen, lying flat on his stomach, which he could just barely bare. He was sore, violated, disgusted and disoriented. He was entirely violated, his virginity taken forcibly by Derick. By Derick, of all people and he was far from kind. He was brutal, sadistic in his movements. He could still feel his….his stuff in him, still fermenting everything on him. It grossed him out to no end that he had done such things to him. He was littered in bruises and welts, imprints of his fists and nails as he dug them into him. He could feel his hips argue at him so much. He didn't want to think what would happen when things…..settled. He shivered at the thought, tears still falling.

He still had tears to cry, words to scream, but his throat was sore and scarred. He hated everything about himself now. He was used over and over again, until he had nothing left. He had no fight in him, and all he had left was the gross white stuff infecting him inside and the scars and marks to show. He believed him. He belonged to him, forever his object to use. He did not need anything outside of this room. He was a toy, a used, disgusting toy.

Even now, as two men dragged him, still naked on to his glass home, he couldn't think about any place better. There was no salvation for him now. He had no prince in shining armor to get him from Derick, because he was, as Derick said, stuck here forever. He could hear though something as he just lay there. Derick was angry again, taking out on someone besides him. He was shouting, getting angry and angrier by each word. It was something to do with Monika, if he heard right. But he wouldn't know. It hurt to think. He looked down at the city, getting a different view this time. He could see the park this time. He couldn't react when he saw the blond hair, the build he could just make out sitting in the park.

Ludwig…..was just in the park, and he had no clue he was watching him. He was right there, under him. He grunted hard, trying to move his arm, to just….try and reach out. It was pointless as the hand covered part of the view to him. He was up here, removed of all rights and protection, of his one thing he wanted to keep safe for Ludwig and Ludwig was down there, slumped and despairing from the looks of it because he was in Derick's hands.

Monika was right all along. He had his world in front of him, but it was just out of hand's reach.

* * *

_**Hate me yet? Review and tell me how much this hurt. Also, don't forget to follow and favorite to see what happens next!**_


	20. Mad World

_**Haaah...People are mad with me because of what I wrote. I sorry, but its my plot! This...well, take it as you like. Nothing else for you!**_

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'Mad World' by Gary Jules-**_

* * *

The world seemed to fall into pieces. Ludwig had found the person responsible for Feliciano's kidnapping and all he could do now, after moving to a safer place to talk, was try and keep both of them from falling into crying pieces of goo. He hadn't even though to call the others, to tell them they need not search anymore, he just needed the story. He only got a very small piece of it, and he was done. What she had told him, the simple sentence, tore him more than Feli's loss.

"_D-Derick…..defiled him. No stop, nothing. I…had to listen as he raped him, I couldn't move. I was terrified to leave. I'm sorry Ludwig, I'm sorry!"_

It was the forced loss of Feliciano's last innocence.

She made a mistake, she made many mistakes, and like a long told story, she thought she was doing the right thing for the right cause, pleasing those who shared her once glorified view. She could barely hold herself now, the memory of everything she heard a black mark. She saw through the haze Derick put up around her. Ludwig was in denial, sorrowed, and probably most of all confused. Even after all of this she decided to help them? She would risk everything she had built up to fix this one mistake?

"Hey…." The broker looked at him, both of them a train wreck. They had spent most of their time in tear-filled silence.

"Why….did you come to me? Why try to fix things miss?"

"Monika is the name…and I came to you….because I could finally see, finally understand. It's a long story, a long history I would like to explain….to everyone"

Ludwig acknowledged the hidden question, and pulled out his phone. He called Lovino and Natalia, telling them to round up the others and meet back home. It was a big fight for a moment, but when the words 'we found her' spilled from his lips, they were ending the call and rushing through the city to gather everyone. Ludwig finally stood up, not bothering with wiping his face free of the tears. Monika sniffled into her sleeve several times before she noticed the outstretched hand for her.

"After everything I've done…..you still want me around?" Ludwig looked conflicted for a moment, but the over-bearing sorrow took it and shredded his inner battle.

"We all need you around. You're our only lead to getting him back. I need him, and now more than ever he needs me. You can help make up for the mistakes by starting here. Come on"

She looked at the hand for a few seconds before taking it all following Ludwig out of the small little outcropping in the park and back to the home. She froze though as he went to open the door, tears falling hard once more. She could see not the house, but her workers storming into it, hurting the boys left inside and taking Feli away. Finding the pictures of Ludwig at a young age, making sure she covered her tracks. Everything from the abduction haunted her as she stood on the lawn, looking at Ludwig who now tugged at her arm. She shook her head, covering her face as she took a step back.

"I…it…I remember when I came here. It hurts…."

"Come on Monika. It's alright"

Monika took a few deep breaths before looking at the house again and following Ludwig in. The house seemed empty, silent besides the TV on a report of the activity of Lier's Den. It made her shudder, but she continued behind him until she saw the gathering of his little force to find her. As soon as one of them saw him, they jumped up and started shouting at her, calling everything in the book, shaming her. She shrunk back, suddenly not seeing the current events, but her childhood again, seeing her father yell at young Derick. She watched the shaming and shouting from the corner into the hallway, and watched in horror as her mother tried to stop it, only getting her punched and thrown into the ground. It was ugly and disgusting. Her horrifying beginnings into the life of making sure others felt second-rate below her. She zoned only to her memories, letting the events around her fade into the blackness she let surround her. She could just start seeing blood when she was shaken out of the nostalgic episode.

She was on the ground, on her knees. Ludwig was in front of her, hands on her shoulders, gripping them tight. She looked around her, spotting everyone. Lovino, Natalia, Iryna, Francis, Antonio, Sebastian, Elizabeta, Lili, Jennifer. Even Romulus and Arminius stood in the circle around her. She tore her eyes from them and kept them at the ground.

"Monika, are you okay?"

"I'll be fine…I found myself…remembering lost things" she said as she stood up. The family and its new guest soon all huddled up in the living room, watching Monika. She agreed to tell her side, to tell them what had happened and why she did it and came here for forgiveness. She was shaky, unsure how to explain it all, but she let her tongue loose, and explained the tale she had never told anyone.

"I came here to get the burden off my chest…..of getting Feliciano into such a position. I never knew much about his previous beatings by….my brother Derick…"

Wait…he's your BROTHER?!" Lovino shouted. Romulus smacked him on the shoulder, hushing him.

"Yes…I'm his older sister. I work my own information network, mostly in means that my late mother set up. We both inherited our parent's long-built empires. He took control of Lier's Den, making himself the proclaimed 'King' of the family mafia. My mother worked a broker system to help those affected by my late father's work, seeing that she was growing tired of his ways, and by the end….she was forced to connect to it to the mafia itself. The story goes back to our childhood, but I know you want to know about Feli….."

"If at all possible. Please, if he's dead…" Romulus started to ask, but stopped as Monika rose a hand up.

"If he was dead, I wouldn't be here, I would have joined him. Though something horrible has happened…." She started to shrink into herself, and Ludwig started to tear up. He knew what had happened. Everyone waited in painful silence as Monika finally got herself together, and told them in bitter tears.

"Derick snapped…..and raped him…"

Dead silence. No movement, no shouting. The only sound that could be heard were the noises of the outside world and Monika's muffled sobs and cries. Even Ludwig, who sat apart from everyone, did not make a sound even though he was crying again. He refused to make any noise. No one seemed to want to speak, or move until it actually sunk in, and Romulus found himself rushing for the bathroom to puke. As Romulus broke the unnerving silence with his vomiting, Ludwig looked at Monika and spoke low.

"Why didn't you stop it?"

Monika barely turned her head toward him. "I couldn't"

"I know that you were frozen by it, but that doesn't make up for the fact that you had the power to stop it" Ludwig was getting bitter and harsh, and everyone could hear the cold edge slip into his words. No one talked as Monika stood up, and practically yelled at him.

"I could yes, but Derick would have had me killed for interfering. And what would that get you? A dead end and Feli would have probably never found if it wasn't for me not doing anything! If I did fight him and make him stop, he would kill him and then me for insubordination against him! Everything would have ended in blood and death and you would never see him again!"

Ludwig said nothing more, and it seemed his sorrow grew more as he let a silent sob leave his sealed lips. Iryna, looking frightened and saddened, moved over to Ludwig's side and sat on the side of his chair; letting him rest his head on her leveled lap. Lovino finally spoke out though as Monika sat back down.

"Thank you at least for the update…" Antonio looked at him in shock. Lovino lifted his downcast head, revealing the tears he silently shed.

"Lovi?"

"I'm beyond anger, hate and sorrow. I'm shocked in silence, that's all. It's obvious I am not the only one"

It was almost too obvious. Everyone sat or stood in complete stunned silence. Tears fell down a few faces, but no sound came from them. Romulus was emerging form the bathroom, wiping his mouth free of any leftover regurgitated food and bile. Lovino looked up at Monika, who was trying to keep her own overactive emotions down, and then to Ludwig, who finally got himself together and was letting Iryna run a hand through his disheveled hair, whispering in soft Russian. He quickly looked back at Monika.

"You said…..that Derick snapped"

"Yes…." She said mournfully. "He must of…..found himself remembering things himself. That's why I wanted to explain to you a story no one else knows. I just want to tell you, I don't want you to think Derick any different. He has become a hypocritical bastard"

"Agreed" chimed Lovino, Ludwig, and Romulus.

"But…..if you want to know why Derick could have finally snapped, I can tell you. The story of our childhood under the thumbs of mafia bosses…"

"I think we should know" Arminius spoke up. Lovino and Gilbert looked up at him and nodded. Monika sunk into her seat, trying to keep her breathing even.

"Alright, just remember to not take it to heart. He has gone too far even for his history. It all started early, about fourth grade for him, sixth grade for me. Our father was watching my brother walk back from school from the window of our house, evaluating us as he usually did. He ran a tight shift, making sure we kept to ourselves, and most of all never, and I mean never, showing any affection or intimate feelings toward our same sex. He was….a very big homophobic and even back then in Lier's Den's 'glory' days, it was a mafia to keep the homosexual love down. He never liked them, and wanted them down. His mafia group was sort of like the Westboro Baptist Church, except they could capture, torture, and kill you. Illegally of course, but the police were sluggish, not noticing him. I still think to this day the police chief of the town was homophobic too and was keeping the force off my father's back"

"Seems plausible enough" Ludwig muttered.

"Now he's watching him and he catches another boy walking along with him. Mind you, I'm standing in one of the doorways, I was sick that day. He curses to himself and I was getting worried because whenever he did, it meant something bad was going to happen, that he was going to use his job to do something. Mommy came in, rubbing my shoulder before heading for father, and talked with him quietly, pointing at the scene outside. They got into a heated discussion, and soon it was a shouting match. I didn't want to deal with it. I went into the kitchen and looked through that window to see what was going on with Derick. I looked through that window with budding curiosity and found myself seconds later in horror. I understood why he cursed…

….My brother turned and kissed the boy on the cheek. My brother turned out to be gay that day"

* * *

Feli woke up groggily, curling his fingers just enough to press hard into the glass below him. He went to move, to sit up and work out the knots he would have in his shoulders, but found himself biting his lip, trying to keep the cries of pain in his aching throat. He gave up his attempts, seeing that as he rocked to his other side that he did let a scream out, flopped to his back, wincing and groaning as the muscles relaxed, pushing the bruises on his lower back. He remembered how he got like this. He looked down, to survey the damage, but as he struggled to sit up, he found himself being propped up, delicate hands saying away from the bruises lining his shoulders.

"I got you" it wasn't Monika, but she sounded decent. He hissed and groaned as he fully sat up, his hips and his butt not liking the new pressure on them. It hurt, and he didn't like it. What had Derick really done? Did he injure him beyond fixing? Why did he ask himself that? Of course he did, he just didn't know if he did it physically. The woman behind him took quick action and moved in such a blur he couldn't keep up. He felt like he was off the ground, maybe being lifted. He couldn't focus on anything beside the pain still shooting up every fiber of his lower half and the hope that he wasn't going to be feeling like this forever. As he finally felt like he was back on solid ground, some of the pain was softened, giving him a comfortable place to sit propped up. He felt like….

"There we go, in the bed. I'm Jackie, by the way…" Jackie didn't exactly look like a person you would see working for a person like Derick. She looked young, maybe 17 or 18, wearing clothes similar to what Monika was wearing when he last saw her. She had her black hair tied up in a ponytail.

"Why are you being nice?" That seemed to be the question always on his mind. Were they going to repeat his history of those who befriended him then beat him down? Jackie looked at his with a confused look, but realization crossed her face just as quickly. She sighed and poked a bruise on his face experimentally, like a child. He hissed as the pain lit up on his face like lightning, and she drew away.

"I work directly with Monika, and Derick put me in her place since she has….." Jackie looked away, sitting down on her behind next to him. He tilted his head toward her, biting back a groan as the muscles in his neck were also complaining on the movement.

"What…..happened?"

"Monika…..left. She took off and Derick can't find her. He wasn't happy to know that his sister split on him. I would say you're lucky. You didn't get that brunt end of the stick"

"I got raped by one….." Jackie looked him with overwhelming concern, brushing a few stray hairs out of his bruised face. She knew about him, she knew just about as much as Monika did being her number one. She also knew something from a little birdie….

"Monika didn't just disappear, thought…"

"What happened to her?"

Jackie sighed heavily, turning her head away. She didn't really know if she should tell him the truth, or lie. She realized that she was supportive of Monika's decisions, but did she have the heart to tell her and risk getting killed by Derick. She scolded herself though. No camera, no recorders, which was stupid but one idiot's mistake is another's way of escaping.

"Monika was tired of Derick's crap and went to look for your boy Ludwig"

Feliciano, despite the pain and throbbing he felt, sat straight up, already tearing up. Monika went for Ludwig? She went for him, and now he had hope. He found another light to look for. She could tell him where he was, and he could be rescued. He had a knight in shining armor once more. He slowly sunk back down, crying into his hands. He didn't smile though, though the small detail was missed by Jackie as she stood up and left without another word, but before she could actually get to the door, Derick stomped inside, staring at Feli and Jackie with such coldness, the temperature in the room seemed to drop.

"Jackie, get him up and in the crate" he ordered, not bothering with formalities. He was in charge, he didn't need to.

"What the hell is going on?!" she demanded, earning her a swift slap in response. Feliciano struggled to sit up, seeing Derick approach him with a heavy and quick gait. He panicked and almost got himself hurt again at Derick grabbed him roughly by the clothes now on him (courtesy of Jackie) and thrown into the crate being brought in, Derick no longer caring if Feli hurt or not.

"With Monika gone, we have a security issue. We are going to the one place she does not know about and bring the operation there. Now come on!" he barked, dragging Jackie off the floor and following the crate as it was taken out of the room and slowly through the building to be taken out, covered with a black sheet, surrounding Feli in darkness. He didn't like it, he never liked it, and start crying out and thrashing around. The cage was set down, part of it thrown off. Feli snarled at it, trying to keep his pain down. A syringe popped through the bars, hands grabbing him as they kept him still for the injection. By the time the people carrying him got outside he was out cold, sleeping on the cage floor.

As everyone loaded up and vacated the city, taking separate paths to avoid suspicion, Feli found himself looking back. He was looking back at his suicide attempt. It was….looking nice again…

NO! No! You promised you wouldn't go to it again! Ludwig was waiting for him, looking for him, he would not do it!

He slowly slid back into blank nothingness that the drug pumped into him brought. The suicide, the razor and the gun came back as the time went on. He found himself wanting it, to get away. He lost his freedom, any chance of it, again. He was being moved, farther out from him and Monika. He just let it go wild, the thought wedging itself into his head once more.

When he woke up again, he was just outside his cage, snuggled into his replaced clothing; a large, oversized shirt that almost reached his knees. He could smell the ocean. Was he near the ocean? He finally looked around, finding himself in a brightly lit room, facing ajar windows that gave him a view of the sea. He was at the coast, so he about an hour from the town. He sighed and snuggled back into his shirt. His mind was clear, the ocean did that, but Derick came back into it and he realized that this was owned by him, the shirt probably was his own too.

He wanted to chuck it off, but he didn't want to see the bruises on his skin, so he was stuck with it. He sat up and looked 360 around the room, spotting a spectacle of a sight.

Open doors. Open French windows into a balcony. He stood up with very unstable legs. Wrapping his arms around his torso, and started to walk toward it. He could feel the heavy breeze. He had a way out! As his hand brushed through the threshold, his legs slipped from under him, bouncing back a bit. He was still tied down by a chain. The heavy metal cuff on his ankle confirmed it. He wearily dragged himself back to where he was and flopped onto his stomach, groaning because he was stuck again. He let out a pained cry though. Something hard was pressed up to his chest. He flopped onto his back, noticing the bulge on his chest, slowly sliding down his slide. He slipped his hand into it, and gripped it.

He knew that feel of cold metal and leather hold. He pulled it out to confirm his suspicions and couldn't believe it. It was a gun, hidden in his shirt. How someone smuggled a gun into the shirt, he had no clue but who did must have been a miracle worker. He examined it. A revolver…like his old gun. The gun he originally was going to go out with. He looked silently at it, and opened the chamber. It even was loaded with four bullets out of six. He closed the chamber and just rested it in his hands for a moment, thinking.

Suicide. It was a way out. Ludwig wouldn't think to search the coastal regions, and neither would Monika; she had no knowledge of this place. He could use this….gift from God to get away from Derick.

Feliciano didn't know if he should or not at all. He kept it balanced in his hand, pressing the opening of the barrel against his forehead, staring down at his pointer finger hovering over the trigger like a single thread over a vast void; one snap and it was all over. The only thing that seemed to be in his head at that moment was a question, a question he long ago asked himself.

Would he pull the trigger?

* * *

_**Heh...go on, tell me how this made you feel. I must be killing you with feels. Plus evil, EVIL cliffhanger. Show your hate for me in reviews, I would like to hear!**_


	21. Radioactive Fights

_**Sorry for being late guys! My internet has been cut down severly, so updates will be slower. Thank you for waiting! Have a really long chapter, there you go!**_

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'Radioactive' by Imagine Dragons and 'Fight' by Icon for Hire-**_

* * *

He could just pull it. Just pull it, blow his brains out, and maybe see Ludwig as a ghost. He could chuck the thing out of reach, and not care the consequences for having it. He could even such shoot his chain off, getting him free. He could do anything with the few bullets he was granted. He could shoot anything. He could even just hoard it, use it to save himself or someone.

Save them for Derick and kill the bastard.

Would he ever lower his finger, pull the trigger down hard, and let it all end?

He dragged the barrel up and down his forehead, hesitating. He planned for it earlier, when it seemed to be no end to the torment, but that was long ago and now he had his light. Ludwig was the reason he was still alive now. Both of them suffered so much through their life. He didn't get picked on as bad as Ludwig in his youth, though he remembered so much. His times with him as kids were deep. Even now, staring down the barrel of a gun that could take everything away, he still wondered if Ludwig ever remembered his childhood. He did at least, trying to befriend him from the start to rekindle their seemingly abandoned past.

Ludwig was oblivious to their past. He seemed to not able to remember it at all. He still worried that it wasn't him, just someone who bore a similar physical appearance and personality as his youth love. It seemed unlikely that it wasn't the same kid form his youth; the name was the same, his guardians and family was as well. It seemed that Ludwig forgot everything, until now.

Feli found himself drawn back into his mind, reliving ancient memories. Ludwig seemed to remember it near the end, right? He said he was in a car crash...

"_Nonno, what happened?" he asked his grandfather, worried._

_His grandfather had been making lunch when he heard him drop something, shattering. He then proceeded to shout at something or someone in Italian and English, but it wasn't the shouting that drew him to the kitchen, gripping his nonno's shirt. It was after that, he got silent and serious, and really cold with his words. He didn't like it that his grandfather got cold and it was happening more and more often, especially when any subject on the Beilschmidt family came. It worried him because he wanted to see Luddy again, and he had no clue how to get there._

"_Nothing Feli….just, can you listen to me for a moment?" his nonno sank down on his knees a bit, reaching eye level with him. Feli nodded quickly and looked into his grandfather's eyes. They were cold this time, causing his to shiver under their piercing gaze._

"_I want you to forget about Luddy, alright?"_

_He gasped, stepping back away from him. Why was he asking him to something so cruel? He could never forget about him! He was everything to him, a light in his dim life! He was a bit scary but he loved him! He gave his first kiss to him! He started to cry, hiccups of sobs leaving his mouth. His nonno just squatted there, saying nothing and watching him break down._

"_Why should I?! He did nothing wrong, why should I forget my only friend?!" he demanded._

"_Because there is no point to anymore…."_

"_LIAR! There will always be a reason! I love him I will never-"_

_He was slammed into the ground just before he could finish. He gripped his throbbing cheek as best he could, stunned that his grandfather had hit him. He really did hit him. He sobbed out viciously, trying to collect his head. His grandfather, out of the corner of his eye, stood up and walked slowly past him._

"_You won't be seeing him ever again Feliciano. It's pointless to keep holding on. Move on like the rest of us"_

_He sat there sobbing long after nonno left. He sat there, on the floor, and slowly collected himself. That was the first time he had ever been hit by his grandfather, the man who never raised his hand in attack on anyone. They never we're hit or harshly punished for anything, and now…..everything seemed like it was flipped. As his tears lessoned, his nonno's orders seemed to ring louder than he thought._

"_F-forget…..about him…."_

"_Oh, fratello" Feli looked up to find his brother looking down at him. He stood up quickly, rubbing his cheek once more before laughing lightly._

"_Hi Lovi! I…I just was clumsy and tripped and smacked my face on a counter top!"_

"_Tch, be more careful! At least you're not bleeding" with that Lovino stalked off, leaving Feliciano alone. He looked down at his feet for a moment, watching as they slowly started to get spotted with his falling tears coming back._

"_F-forget…"_

"That's…..when it happened…." Tears started to fall once more, and the gun slowly slid out of his hands, landing with a 'thunk' next to his folded legs. He curled up on himself, mutely crying out. No sound, no screams, just silent tears falling down in streams. Everything hurt, everything did all over again. Why did he have to remember that now? He growled down at the gun, snatching it up again and pointing it back at himself. As he did, another memory bubbled to the surface.

"_Hey there Feli! How's it going?"_

_Feli turned around just in time to have a pair of breasts thrusted into his face, gagging him away from oxygen. He flailed his arms and called for help, trying to breathe sweet air once more. Eventually the girl on him got off and apologized. She swept back her brown hair and smiled at him._

"_Sorry for that. I'm Elizabeta, Eliza really. I thought maybe one day we could be friends"_

_Feli's face lightened up like the sky on New Year's Eve. He glomped Eliza into a hug and almost started to cry into her shoulder. Eliza slowly soothed him._

"_You looked lonely. I thought maybe-"_

"_Yes, yes yes! We can be friends! I want a friend!"_

He didn't know what to do anymore. The gun was the center point of it but he didn't know what to do with it anymore. He slowly pulled it away from him, redid the safety and hid it once more in the confines of his shirt. Someone was talking on the other side of the bolt-locked door behind him; the only way in or out of this paradise of a holding cell.

He would have to reconsider suicide later because someone was walking in. The door slowly opened then slowly closed with a heavy click, the lock replacing itself.

"You're awake, finally. Good to know that the injection didn't knock you out for good"

It was Derick. He shivered hard. He sounded _nice_, almost like he was considerate of his wellbeing. Who did he take him for? Someone that was easily convinced just by a change in voice? He sighed however and turned around to face him, keeping in mind the gun hidden as well. Derick didn't look like himself at all, and it made this entire situation look even more dark. He was scowling, or being mean to him. He wasn't even carrying himself like he was going to kill something. He just sat himself down in front of him.

"What are you here for? Beating me up?" Feli asked coldly, curling up behind his knees. Derick looked at him oddly.

"No. I was just checking up on you, seeing if you were awake"

"So you could beat me up again!"

"No! If I wanted to beat you into bruises and broken bones I would have!" Derick yelled at him, sending Feliciano back onto his hind quarters, hands behind him ready to draw himself away from Derick. Derick sighed and scooted himself back. Feli watched in total awe as Derick seemed to shrink into himself. This couldn't be Derick, he was too nice! Why the hell was he suddenly being nice to him, was he still taking him for a fool of a toy?!

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why…..are you not being yourself? You're supposed to be yelling at me, making me feel disgusting. You're supposed to be breaking me" Feli coldly spoke. Derick shook his head.

"It's a long story. I never meant to hurt you at all…."

"Liar!"

"I'm not lying!"

"Yes you are! You always liked beating me up with the others, laughing when I bled or cried out!" Feli knew he should stop where he was but everything just started to come out. He wanted to stop before more harm came to him but his mouth had other ideas. Derick was starting to get red in the face in anger.

"NO! SHUT UP!"

"Then why did you enjoy raping me?!"

Before Feli could react, Derick's hand came up and swiftly slapped him across his left cheek. His head snapped to the right hard, tears already falling. A soft stream of whimpers left him, his left hand clutching the throbbing cheek. He ground his teeth to keep the sounds down, but it was near impossible now. He mentally prepared for the rest of the assault that would likely come.

Derick watched with red clouding his vision as Feliciano curled up crying after he was slapped. He was wrong, always wrong and disgusting. He didn't enjoy it….did he? No! No he wouldn't. Maybe…..

"You don't know…." Derick murmured, catching Feli's attention once more. The smaller Italian's left cheek was red and already a bit puffy. Derick grabbed for him and slammed him down on his back, hovering over the squirming Feli like the dark shadow he had become so long ago.

"You don't know anything! You don't know what I went through, what lessons were _beaten_ into me to make me understand! You will never know!"

Feli stared up at Derick's red-lit face. He was crying. Derick, the biggest bully and evil figure in his life, was breaking down atop of him. He didn't like where the position could lead them but something in him, his always awaiting softer side, told him to hear Derick out.

"Y-you will never k-know anything Feliciano!" Derick cried out.

"Then let me know"

Derick stared down at Feli, the tears these long years forgot still falling. He knew that he shouldn't be getting vulnerable but it finally cracked. It seemed to shatter almost as he watched Feli, pinned underneath him, smile. He stopped smiling ever since the first attack. It sent shivers up and down his spine and his heart started to beat hard in his chest. He quickly lifted himself away from Feli and plopped himself down in front of him as he sat up.

"You still wouldn't understand Feliciano, why I do all of this"

"I'll get a different view of it. There's something Monika must have missed Derick…" Derick looked Feli straight in the eye as he said his name, his heart fluttering again.

"I have a forgiving nature, well….at least I'll let you talk" Feli smiled as he spoke. Derick looked down at his hands for a moment.

"After everything I've done to you…you still smile…"

"Ve?"

"You still smile, and at me of all people, and you don't seem to be afraid of me anymore…."

"I still am. I just…..want to hear your story" Feli explained, setting a hand docilely on Derick's. Once more, in only a few seconds of dead time, he found himself caught surprised. This one made everything in him scream, and he fought against it. Derick was kissing him. He just went for it. As Feli backed away from the forced upon kiss, he shoved Derick back and slapped him like he had not so long ago, hoping his point was made. Derick snarled out something and slammed Feli back down to the ground, pinning his hands above him with one hand, the other around his throat. He gagged on his lungful of air.

"You will NOT HIT ME! You still don't understand anything you stupid faggot!" Derick shouted at him. The hand on Feli's throat loosened enough for him to shout back.

"Then explain! Explain why you're doing this!" Derick's head dropped down to the crook of one of Feli's shoulders. Feli shuddered at the closeness, feeling their bodies get closer as well. Everything started to hurt again, the memories causing his still fading bruises to flare up in heated pain.

"B-because Feli…..I never thought it would happen again…. Ever since my youth…."

"D-derick?" Feli whispered, turning his face away from Derick.

"Feliciano…..I didn't know what to do, I thought I was failing him again. It was going to repeat. So I did what he would have done but….it still was there…."

"W-what was?"

Derick sighed softly in his ear and leaned closer to his face.

"I find myself falling for you still….." a gasp left Feli as he shivered to a complete frozen state. Derick….

"I like you Feli. I hate and love you…..and I don't know what to do anymore. Being gay isn't what I was taught. I don't know what to do a-anymore…"

Feli stayed silenced, shivering like he was in a blizzard. Derick…loved him. Derick was gay? He hated them and he was one himself? And why him, of all people?

"I want to break you, more then I already have so I can convince myself that it isn't what it is but I…..find myself hesitating Feli. You're causing all of this crap. I hate you…."

"But you….like me?" Feli asked hesitantly. It was finally starting to caught on, the part about Derick liking him. The idea was slowly worming itself into his head, and the realization was slow coming.

"No…." Derick leaned up to finally look Feli in the eyes. "I _like_ like you Feliciano"

The realization finally clicked, but Feli didn't fight to free himself or squirm out of disgust or hate. Instead he kept his eyes trained to Derick, who watched him with intense concentration, small tears building up in the corners of his eyes. It wasn't a fog in Feli's head. It actually was near crystal clear. Even though his greatest enemy was still pinning him down, and had the ability to hurt or kill him any second now, he still felt something else besides resentment and hatred and disgust. Slowly the pieces of his talking slowly connected as well. The lessons beaten into him, the way he was taught…..could he have gone through so much pain just to be a homophobic?

"S-say something dammit!" Derick demanded, the tears building up finally falling. Feli kept silent, but finally was able to worm his hands out of Derick's grip and moved quickly, wrapping his arms around Derick, who in turn sputtered on with nonsense words.

"I understand your feelings Derick….you were taught not like us gays, and when the feelings for men came on you didn't know what to do. You denied your feelings by hurting me, making sure that you saw that I was not worth breaking your ideals of homophobia. You went as far as to rid me of my innocence in a blind lust you couldn't keep back. I should hate you, and push you away as I always have but….

…..I understand. You're feelings for me are heard but….I'm loyal to Ludwig. I do not return them though"

Derick mumbled something, but quickly switched his emotional faces again, growing angry once more. He ripped himself away from Feli and started to beat on him, but it was weak. His punches to Feli's face were blinded by tears.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit! Why must Ludwig get in the way! I….have done everything I could to get you…god dammit please!"

Derick's assault stopped as he sat up and away from Feliciano, looking down sadly at his hands. Feli sat up slowly, touching the soft bruises now forming up on his face. Derick, under the cover of his hair, smiled weakly.

"I…understand now Feliciano" Feli looked quickly up at Derick, who finally looked up at him, tears and red face and everything else.

"I was a fool. A blind idiot. I've lost so much; respect, my only other family in this world, the trust I had, and….you. I don't see a way out"

"Derick…." Feli let a hand stretch the distance between them. Derick then looked down again, his face growing dark, the air around him charging up with hostility.

"I lost everything and now that I'm alone, I will make sure everything is put right…." Feli sighed inside but it all shattered when Derick looked at him again. The real Derick was back home, and ready and willing to hurt him all over again.

"I will make sure I am never found, if that means that I have to kill you to make sure you shut up"

* * *

The families now knew of Derick's backstory, his history that forced him into the business he now controlled. As by Monika's word and their own opinion, they did not feel different about him. He was still an evil person who thought he owned the world in the palm of his hand. They knew they had probably spent too much time on the topic and were already on their way to the city tower that was said to have Feliciano. Everyone couldn't believe that Feli had been just above them, watching them move through the town in search of him. As they moved closer, Ludwig found himself in thought again.

"Everything okay Ludwig?" Monika asked, coming up beside him.

"Yeah but….I guess you can say Derick's life story, including your own, is making me second guess...and it's scaring me as well"

"Derick is still a disgusting piece of work don't forget" Monika harshly retorted.

"You're casting away your own brother Monika. I wonder how you feel about it. He _is _the only family you have left"

Monika grew silent, her face contorting as she thought. She sighed in resignation.

"I know he is, and we've always had our backs even though now I know most of them were wrongly done. I expect that I'll be done for when this is over because of my job. I just can't let go the fact that Derick has finally let his dirty laundry out to air"

"I was also thinking something else as well. If Derick really was once…gay, then what would stop him from going back to it?"

"Getting beaten near senseless?"

"Well….you got over the fact that the 'King' rules all, why couldn't he?"

Monika stayed silent, and the rest of the walk to the building was in creepy silence. The wave of uneasiness was washing over everyone. Lovino tapped the small handgun he had in his pocket.

"Everyone ready?"

Before they had headed out as well, those who were deemed trustworthy and bale to use a gun were given one, seeing that these were mafia men and women, they could be carrying some firepower, or be tough to take down. Only Romulus, Arminius, Lovino, and Monika packed guns. Ludwig refused his offer to carry one. As they entered the back lot of the building Monika cursed.

"Nothings…here. Why is nothing here? They didn't…."

"I can't be…." Natalia whispered.

Everyone rushed inside behind Monika as she rushed through the building yelling and cursing. Ludwig and Lovino were close behind, and when she reached Feli's old holding place and swung the door open, finding empty air and nothing left behind to help all hell broke loose again. Everyone was ordered to look around for anything to pinpoint where they went. Every searched for a few hours, finding nothing but pointless junk papers in some places, and not even a single tire track if they moved. They had lost their lead. Ludwig sat silently on the glass outlook that Feli once sat on, looking down into the city.

"I don't know where he would have gone. If we were to search the places he could, it would take days and we could lose him by that time" Monika spoke out, pacing.

"Not an option" Lovino replied.

"Guys!" It was Arminius. "Someone just pulled up out back!"

Everyone quickly moved from the uppers floors to the windows, looking out at the car pulling up and turning up.

"Why a crappy purple Scion? Those things suck…" Gilbert mumbled.

The car door opened quickly, a female figure stepping out. Monika smiled and ran quickly down the building, the pack trying to keep up with her.

"Monika!" Romulus called out.

"It's Jackie! Come on guys, I think we found our lead!"

The group and this 'Jackie' girl met face to face in the lobby, and Jackie was near scared shitless when guns were pulled n her, but she had her own up as well. Monika called them off and Jackie was ecstatic at the sight of her boss.

"Monika-sensei! You're okay! I didn't know that you would come back here"

"Monika-sensei?" Francis whispered to Jennifer, who only shrugged. She didn't have a clue either.

"Jackie, where did they go?" Jackie looked away from Monika, looking down at the gun in her hands. Monika pressed again for an answer.

"Jackie, please, we need to save Feliciano from my brother…."

"I….can't sensei…." Jackie whimpered, clutching her chest. Ludwig surged up in front of Monika, annoyed by Jackie's reluctance.

"Why not?! If you truly work for him, why should we show you mercy? We could just shoot you now!"

"No! Don't!" Jackie demanded, standing up. "I don't care for him but I'm scared for my life! Yes I know where they are but if I tell you and go back, he'll know I'm a traitor. He's gone off the deep end! He's killing anyone who second-guesses things, who says 'no' to anything involving orders! I don't want to die!"

"You didn't hurt Feli, did you?" Ludwig asked, his face a mask of stone. Jackie shook her head and a smile grew on Ludwig's face.

"No….I told him about Monika's abandonment of Lier's Den. He was happy to know that you would be searching for him"

"Jackie….my fratello, is he okay?" Lovino stepped out of the group as well, Romulus right behind him.

"He's okay for now. I don't know what Derick's doing but he was with him before I left. There wasn't any screaming or anything so I can only assume he's okay"

"Jackie…" Monika stepped around Ludwig again, taking hold of one of Jackie's arms; the one with the gun still in her hand. "If you help us, you'd be a hero. You would have finally put Derick down for his deeds. Please, just once more, can you help me with this?"

Jackie stayed silent for a moment. She dropped her gun when she made her decision. She shook her head in agreement, sending the group into cheers.

"I'll be here. The place is his hidden little house on the coast. Kaiser's Ridge, very end of the loop. You can't miss it. You'll need this for entry and any checkpoints along the way" Jackie handed Monika a key card, and then tossed Ludwig a set of keys.

"I know that a Scion is a bit ugly but it goes great. He doesn't have much security there; he thinks he's safe there. A few of you may want to pack a bit of firepower since he does have a few armed guards. I hope you get Feli out of there"

"Thank you so much Jackie" Monika thanked her, and let her walk into the building. She held up the card, and Ludwig tossed the keys into the air.

"Now the home stretch. We're getting him home!" Monika cheered.

Ludwig smiled as he tossed the keys to the Scion to France, and then looked to the key card. It was the key into the house that held Feli. He would have him soon, and Derick will learn what it meant to fuck with them. As some of the crew piled into the crappy purple Scion, the others rushed on foot back to the house. They all ready for the worst, and this time Ludwig took up arms, along with Lili and Natalia. They were going to storm them. They shoved the guns in the back of their two cars, their convertibles, and left the Scion waiting at their home. They were off toward the coast, following Arminius and Monika down the stretch of road. They hoped they could make good time and get there before anything worse happened.

* * *

Feliciano was trying to run away. He was tugging senselessly at the chain that kept him blocked form freedom and the death Derick promised. After he said he would, he had beaten him again, this time being as ruthless and cold and unseeing as the last time, and as he left to get ready and get a gun, Feli made sure he wasn't stuck here. He wanted free, he wanted gone. He didn't want to die at his hands. He had taken his hope, his happiness, even the innocence he missed now, but he would fight because he did not want to die at his disgusting hands. He was different but he let his hatred and fear take him for nothing. He struggled again, tugging on the non-compliant chain.

"Come on! Come oooooooon!" He tugged at it again until he fell on his ass. He wasn't going to be moving. He spied the gun though he had hid, now in the open, and a thought came to mind. He could use it, he knew it. If the time came, he would defend himself at all costs and that just may come sooner than hoped. Footsteps were coming closer. As he reached for it and hid it just in time, Derick came stomping in, a gun primed in his hand. As Derick grabbed for him, Feli raised the gun until it pointed at Derick's head, the nozzle brushing near his scalp. Derick stayed still as Feli's ragged breath increased.

"Don't move. I will not get killed by you, if you try to I will shoot you, I swear I will!" Feli screamed at him. Derick back up a bit, Feli's gun still pointed at his head. Derick chuckled darkly, raising his own gun.

"Go ahead. We can kill each other. Maybe I can have you in Hell where we'll both end up"

Feli shivered under Derick's hard and dark gaze but kept his hands controlled. The gun never moved but his finger inched closer to the trigger until it was resting on it. It was a standoff, and Feli just hoped his legs didn't give out from under him. His mind was abuzz though as well. The other side of Derick was still in his mind, and every time he looked deeper into Derick's eyes, he could see the other him and how he hurt under this all. He hoped that if they made it out of here, if at all, that he would get his act together. Something else told him that there would be blood spilled before he got free.

"You don't know how to use it do you?" Derick snidely asked. If Derick was going to show another side of him, so was he. Feli's face transformed from scared to determined, his fingers deftly releasing the safety and aiming in right at Derick's forehead. His hands did not shake, nor did his body. He stood straight up, one hand down at his side. Derick's hold on his gun shifted to where on hand held the bottom of his other hand. Feli was showing him what he could do, and inside Derick was frightened by his defense. His gaze hardened, and internally Derick shivered hard.

"My original suicide plan was to shoot myself in the head Liecastor. I know how to use it well. Don't make me demonstrate it"

It really was a Mexican standoff. Both parties did not move or flinch, shiver or pant. They kept their guns trained on the other, their eyes never straying away from one another. It now was a test of endurance and cunning. Who would shoot first? Who would bail first? Thought the question to really ask was who is going to die here? Derick suddenly broke into a smile and leaned his head downward, laughing lightly like a child. Feli grunted and tapped the trigger, never pulling it down.

"This….is how it ends, huh? We both kill each other on the spot, not getting what we want."

Feli stayed silent, though he felt that the calmer side of Derick was breaking through again. The other one would have tried to kill him already.

"You want to go back home, back to Ludwig, and live the life you deserve"

"D-deserve?" Feli mumbled. He was caught off-guard by that. Derick, in a weird sort of way, basically just apologized. Apologizes only go so far but it must have given him some sort of peace of mind. He looked calmer. Derick's gun lowered slowly until it was at his side. Feli now started to shake, unsure if he should put his down, or just shoot already. The shaking did not last long, and finally he heard and saw everything Derick did calmly. He had taken one step closer, and looked down at the ground. He could catch shining tears fall from his face, the light making them look like descending crystals.

"All I wanted was someone who accepted me, but that will never happen. I thought I had my sister but she left. You….I can't… and if someone gets us now, I'll be put in jail for the rest of my life, or put to the death penalty. I'm in the corner now, backed up and looking at the shitty options. I want…."

Feli knew he made the right choice of keeping his gun ready because Derick jumped forward, gun slowly rising up in attack. His face was red in anger and terror, the tears left unshed forcing their way out. He looked insane almost, driven by blood lust.

"I WANT YOU DEAD!" Derick screamed at him. Feli knew what to do. As he took several steps back, feeling his chains pull at him, he aimed as best he could at Derick's head. He hoped that his shot was clear and true.

He slammed his index finger down on the trigger, and shot at Derick.

* * *

_**Guys, thank you so much for your continued reading of 'Coming Down'! We only have now a few chapters to go until the end of this story, but do not fret! I will tell all later.**_

_**Thank you for staying with me for so long!**_


	22. So Close Angel

_**Everyone, this is it. I know I said a 'couple more', but I poured all I could into this. I thank you all for following this journey. I'll tell more in the ending A/N.**_

_**-Chapter Inspired by 'Fallen Angel' by Aimee B-**_

* * *

As they grew closer to the end of this disgusting, blackened road of torment, and closer to finally having Feliciano back, the families found themselves fearing what they would find when they got there. It was all up in the air now, even as the coast grew closer and closer and the smell of salt wafted in the air. They could easily find dead bodies in there, and the thought made everyone sick to their stomachs. They hoped they at least found Feli alive, but the condition of how they found him they could not predict, more so on not being able to picture what he would look like. The cars rolled onward as fast as the legal limit allowed them, the sea slowly coming into view.

"If I had known Derick had moved him and his operations here, I would have locked it down, well….if I could…." Monika called through the wind, looking over at Ludwig.

"How?"

Monika smirked. "The place is actually legally owned by me. Call it my last place of solace out of my work. He must have assumed ownership and control when I bailed. He'll pay for all of this if he destroyed my home with his disgusting ways. I've had my share of blood stain those carpets, I don't need anymore"

Ludwig looked out to the surroundings passing by in colorful blurs. Blood….it always traced back to the red liquid. It didn't seem real now that so long ago it was his friends; his sign that it would be alright. Now it scared him out of his wits. He didn't want to get to this stronghold of Derick's and find that Feli was….killed or worse. He looked down at his cutting scars, and quickly had a flashback with Feli. He shook his head free of the memory bubble. There was no need to, because he would have him back. He would make more memories with him and put this black spot behind them.

If he wasn't scarred worse than he already was.

"You alright Ludwig?" Gilbert asked, putting a hand gently on his shoulder. Ludwig looked over his shoulder, giving him only a quick smirk before returning his sights forward.

"Alright, though I'm anxious"

"We're almost there. See the rooftop with the veins? That's our place" Monika said, pointing out the heavy brown and green tile roof coming into view. Everyone in both cars seemed to lean forward in their seats as they tried to get a closer look. Monika punched the gas as best she could and pushed past the speed limit. As they entered the cluster of houses, and the beach and sea were just below them, Monika slowed it down, careful of the other properties. Monika though started to look confused.

"What wrong, Monika?" Ludwig asked, panic slipping into his voice.

"We can see the house, but it doesn't look like anyone's there. They would have shot at us if they saw me. Something's happened"

"Then move your ass up to the house Monika!" Lili demanded and Ludwig smiled her way. Monika hurried the car along until they were up at the house, staring at the destroyed doors that led them inside. Someone was in a hurry obviously, or maybe Derick didn't like Monika's insane security. Looks like the keycard became obsolete. They calmly walked up to the house, the people armed with small handguns pulling their weapons out. They didn't know what lay inside the hostile home. As they walked in, Ludwig couldn't help but shudder. The air in here felt charged, angry almost. Something was happening or happened here. Monika and Arminius nodded at him. They could feel it too. They crept down the hallway, listening for Feli or anyone actually in the house. It was too silent, too creepy. It certainly did not inspire confidence in finding Feli alive.

"Stairs. We split in two groups to keep the search alive" Monika instructed. "Romulus, Lovino, Francis, Jennifer, and Natalia you stay down here, look for anything. Antonio, me, Ludwig-"

"I'm not going without Antonio"

Everyone looked at Lovino as he clutched at his shirt and looked down embarrassingly. Antonio sighed, gave him a look and walked up to him. He waved at Natalia to take his place. Lovino in turn as Natalia walked over to Ludwig jumped into Antonio's awaiting arms. Something in Romulus's face twitched but it quickly faded.

"Alrighty then…" Monika sighed. "Natalia, me, Ludwig, Iryna and Arminius will search upstairs. If you find Feliciano, just shout. Take out hostiles"

"Kill? Or knock out?" Jenifer asked.

"Try not to kill but if they try an attempt to take your life then you kill. Move out!"

The groups moved to their area. Monika led the second floor party as they ascended the stairs silently. It was even colder here on the second floor. They walked down the halls, peering into the abandoned rooms. It really looked like everyone got up and left the home. As Ludwig stepped out into one of the empty hallways, shots fired. They didn't sound like their guns, but it was gun fire and it was just coming form down the hall. He could hear the others yell out and run for him. So many things were running through his head as he ran for the source of the gunfire. Through the sudden haze was Feli's face and he knew the shots fired were connected to him. The question in his head though was different.

Who shot who?

He heard a hard thump of something hitting the ground close. It seemed to come from his right, all the way through the wall. He back peddled to get to the right door and froze as he turned the knob. He was scared. He was truly scared of what he could find on the other side of this door. He shook, trying to keep himself together. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open, pulling out his pistol just in case. As he stormed in, his heart dropped to the floor and so did his pistol.

"Feliciano!"

He ran up to him, already crying his eyes out. Feli unfurled from his curled up position and offered arms up for Ludwig as he came slamming down on his knees at him, pulling him close and squeezing him into a hug.

"You're okay, you're alive" Ludwig sobbed into Feli's shoulder, "I'm sorry for not finding you sooner. If I could, I could have prevented…Derick defiling you…."

"You know?" Feli whispered, the tears falling harder then he thought bodily possible. Ludwig knew about the rape? Monika told him about that disgusting thing?

"I'm sorry Luddy, I'm so sorry" Feli cried out. Ludwig lifted himself away, taking Feli's face in his hands.

"Feli…."

"I was trying so hard to save it! Derick took it from me, I wanted you to do it! I'm sorry Luddy"

"No, I should be sorry. I let it happen. Don't apologize, you don't need to. I'm…..what was that gunshot?"

Feli rubbed one of the hands on his cheeks and pointed to something just to the side of Ludwig. He looked over to the bloodied body next to him, and then noticed the gun resting next to Feli. Feli had killed Derick.

"He tried to kill me, so….I had a gun somehow and I shot him. I hit his head and he stopped mid-charge and just….died"

"Ludwig!" Monika cried from the hallway, a few doors down from where he was. "What the hell was that, who shot?"

Feli curled up into Ludwig, letting his hands flop into his lap. Ludwig shouted for the others over his shoulder, and then held on to Feliciano as he started to shake.

"Feli?"

"Ludwig….Derick…before he…" Feli looked up at him as a thin line of blood dribbled out of a corner of his mouth. Ludwig's eyes widened impossibly as their eyes traveled down to Feli's midsection, where a blood spot was forming and dripping down. Feli's hands pressed against Ludwig, leaving bloodied hand prints.

"No…" Ludwig whispered, and as the others celebrated that Ludwig had found him, he grabbed Feliciano up and shouted at the others the situation, working through tears to get the help Feliciano needed. Feli gasped as he was lifted into the air, pressed up against Ludwig.

"Keep still Feli, we got you. An ambulance is on the way, just hold on" Ludwig whispered as he walked as best as he could through the house. Feli whimpered into Ludwig's shoulder, keeping one of his hands pressed to the bullet wound. It hurt, but his heart throbbed harder it seemed. Ludwig did find him, he was here and he was warm. Monika pulled through and got him here. Everyone was here, if he could hear them right but it was hard to tell; a lot of blood was pounding in them. His grandfather, his brothers, Arminius and Gilbert, even Francis and Iryna and Natalia and a girl he didn't recognize. He silently cried into Ludwig's form. He was getting dizzy and groggy.

"Luddy….I'm sleepy…." Feliciano whimpered. Ludwig gripped his legs firmly, and kissed his forehead.

"Don't fall asleep yet Feliciano, we're almost home. We're almost home" They had final gotten outside and the ambulance and police squad was waiting for them. Officers were already getting inside and sweeping the building, and one of them was putting Monika in handcuffs.

"….Monika?" Feli asked, watching as she adjusted her arms as they were cuffed behind her.

"I have my own crimes to pay for Feli. I'm just glad I could help you get home and I could set one wrong thing right" she said before she was led into the back of a cruiser. Ludwig had finally gotten to the ambulance and set Feliciano down on the awaiting gurney. He stepped back for paramedics, but was kept close as Feli didn't want him to leave him. They moved him into the back and set him into an IV. Ludwig climbed into the back with him and Romulus climbed up to the front cabin. The others followed the retreating ambulance in the convertibles. Feli squeezed Ludwig's hand softly through his confusion and sleepiness and dizziness.

"Thank you….."

Ludwig smiled as Feli's eyes fluttered closed and clutched at his hand with both of his, willing it to squeeze him again.

* * *

"_The town can now finally rest in peace tonight as Feliciano Vargas has been found and rescued from his imprisonment by mafia/gang boss Derick Liecastor. The long known teenaged boss had captured Feliciano earlier this month, and it seemed that there was to be no happy ending. He was found by Lier's Den informant Monika Liecastor, who had reportedly gone rogue against Derick, and contacted the Vargas and Beilschmidt families on Feliciano's condition and location. Eventually, they found their way here to what was used as what police are calling a 'staging ground'. They do not know what for but they are searching the beach villa as we speak._

_Derick was found killed as well in this building and we have been told that Feli, out of self-defense and desperation to save himself, took the shot at Derick's head which ultimately killed him. We have been told that Derick's body has been moved out of the home and to a secure location for further investigation. To what they will find with his body, we will not know until we are allowed press access. We will have more information on Derick Liecastor and his dark story later._

_On regards to Monika and her personal company, the company, found to be called 'Castorial Brokers', has been put out of business. Their current tower in the city is under investigation and will be sold later on. Monika willingly let herself be put into custody after police arrived here saying 'I have paid for my mistakes with Feli by getting him back home and back to Ludwig. I understand my errors and will pay for them whatever they deem necessary'. She is currently being held in the rebuilt Personify County Jail and Penitentiary._

_We will have more updates on Feliciano's journey through the hands of Lier's Den and his trip back to Ludwig and how he is doing tonight later on when we visit him tomorrow in W.M Hospital._

_As you all know, Feliciano Vargas and Ludwig Beilschmidt are survivors of bullying from Derick and survivors of horrific suicide attempts-"_

"News really does seem to follow you guys now" Gilbert chuckled, turning the channel of the TV.

Ludwig sighed, fessed up with the press. They were always too pushy for him. At least he had to give them credit for letting their story be known. He sighed and sank into his chair, looking over to Feli. He had been out since they got in the ambulance. They made quick work of Feliciano's injuries, not just the bullet wound but the scarring they found down _there_. They made sure it looked like it never happened, which was a bloody miracle. The doctors were glad though the bullet didn't nick anything vital, but put a nasty scar on his body after a bit of work. They let it stay though. It was right next to his belly button, and nearly broke the thing in two. They also made sure any lost blood was replaced. Ludwig looked up at the IV, and the empty blood bag. It still seemed too weird.

"Hey guys….how are you hanging on?" Elizabeta poked her head through the doorway of the hospital room. She stepped in and closed the door. Romulus shifted in his chair and ran a hand through Feliciano's hair briefly.

"We're okay. Feli still hasn't woken up" Ludwig answered. Elizabeta nodded and took the clipboard from the end of Feli's bed and scribbled something.

"Alright. Just remember now to overwhelm him when he does. I know worse has happened in means of blood loss but….just be careful alright?"

"We got it Eliza, don't worry" Francis called out as she left. The room let out a collective sigh. It was just a game of hurry and wait. A lot of them had gone home, waiting there instead in the hospital. Arminius, Romulus, Francis, Gilbert, Lovino and Antonio, and Ludwig stayed. The rest either chose to wait at the Beilschmidt house or head home and come back later. Iryna though was working here so she was nearby.

Gilbert found himself back on the news channel.

"_We are now sitting and waiting for the approval to see Feli. Currently, police and hospital personnel are restricting our entry for any news. All they have told us is that he is stable and his family and friends are waiting for him to wake up"_

"Persistent bloodsuckers, the paparazzi" Arminius mumbled, getting Francis and Gilbert to chuckle a bit. Lovino looked over to his brother and found himself in Antonio's embrace again. Lovino let Antonio press a quick kiss to his neck.

"I wonder what fratello would think….." Lovino mumbled. Antonio clearly wanted specification.

"What would he think of…..you and me? He knows I accept him now, no more bullying but….would he be happy with…" Lovino trailed off as his blush increased all the way to his ears. Antonio smiled and hugged Lovino closer.

"Well…..it would mean you finally realized you like me, si?" Lovino sputtered on words before smacking Antonio.

"Maybe, you idiota…."

Gilbert patted Lovino a bit, drawing the two oblivious men to him.

"If I may, I think he'll be fine with it. Everything has changed. Your grandfather finally accepted his feelings he shoved under the rug. Seeing you come out might be good"

"Thanks mio amigo" Antonio thanked him. The door opened again and it was Elizabeta again, smirking her way around the room.

"Gilbert, Roderich finally got here. You want to talk with him in the hallway?" Gilbert stood and went to follow Elizabeta to his own boyfriend. The room fell into silence again, and everyone tried to get the stagnant air to break. Ludwig stood up and stood at Feli's side, taking hold of his right hand. If he would just wake up, or make some sort of movement to tell them he was okay.

"Come on Feli…..you survived so much, don't leave me now. Don't give up…" Ludwig whispered, resting their joined hands against his forehead.

"Please….."

* * *

Night came slowly but surely, and with it came Sandman's trap. It caught everyone waiting for Feliciano except Ludwig. He looked tired, granted, but he willed himself to stay awake. He had to thank Elizabeta and Iryna for letting them stay with him. They had gone to the empty rooms around him and bunkered down for the night. Ludwig yawned loudly, and set his head down next to Feli's arm, looking up at him. His breathing was even, but his eyes still did not open for him. He still stayed silent and asleep, seemingly blocking the world out. Ludwig just wanted to see his awake to make sure he really was okay. Ludwig sighed deeply again, and ran a finger up and down Feliciano's arm.

Feli's arm and hand twitched, his head turning to him and his eyes barely opening for him.

"That tickles….."

"Feli, you're awake" Ludwig smiled at Feli, who opened his eyes more and returned the smile brightly.

"Si. Where…"

"The hospital again. We got you here as fast as we could, and they fixed everything up. The bullet's out and you'll just have a scar. They also….I don't know how but they did stuff down there…."

Feli sharply drew in air.

"They found scarring and damage and they did what they could to fix it"

Ludwig looked down to Feli's hand and held on to it, pressing their cutting and suicide scars together like they always did. Feli slowly relaxed and twisted his hips a bit, testing them. He sighed and settled again, pulling his hospital gown up and looking at the scar from his bullet wound. Ludwig blushed a bit seeing that Feli's….vital regions were showing and tugged Feli's blanket up to cover them. Feli poked at his new scar, and smiled.

"I missed you Ludwig"

Ludwig stood up and brought Feli's face closer to him until their foreheads rested against one another.

"I missed you as well, mein liebe" he kissed Feli's forehead as he spoke, "and I'm glad you're with me again"

Feli sniffled back a few tears and dug himself a spot in Ludwig's shoulders. They stayed there, just balancing on each other for a while, just taking in the other. Feli though sat up and planted a long awaited kiss on Ludwig's lips, sighing in relief into it. He missed him and doing this so much. Ludwig smiled into it, and slowly the innocent kiss turned hot and heavy, a small battle of dominance commencing. As Feli moaned into it gripping Ludwig's head with one hand, Ludwig slowly pulled away, trailing a string of spit.

"I really missed you Luddy…." Feli murmured before leaning back into his medical bed. He sighed and ran his left hand over his lips. Ludwig smiled at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"The others are asleep right now, though they should be waking up soon. It's almost morning"

"Okay….I wanted to tell you something…"

Ludwig started to get worried as he watched Feli fidget around a bit, twiddling his thumbs around.

"Okay"

"Derick…..did you know about his past?"

"You found out as well? Monika told us. What do you know?"

"A lot of things, things he never told anyone. Like how he actually liked me…"

Ludwig froze for a minute, his mind going blank. Derick liked him? How much? Why the hell was he telling him now?

"Luddy...Luddy, are you okay?" Feli wasn't exactly expecting Ludwig to freeze up like this when he told him. Ludwig slowly shook himself out of it, letting Feliciano explain.

"Derick told me that…..he was gay and basically had a crush on me. He was confused and disgusted by it because he was taught to be homophobic and never fall for the same gender, but when he couldn't stand it he would beat me up to get the feelings to go away. By the end though he knew he couldn't stop it, he couldn't just beat me up until I was a bruised and broken mess. He couldn't do it. He couldn't make himself believe that he was gay. So he tried to beat his feelings away. He found himself hesitating though, and finally he accepted it, at least part of him did.

The other…..wanted me dead. That's why I shot him, the darker side we knew tried to kill me, to put away the feelings."

"You…."

"I almost reasoned him in letting me go, but he snapped. I hope he understands his mistakes in death"

"Feli…..you're amazing you know that? Talking him out of hurting you is a miracle. You were so close and even now you're calm about talking about him. I thought that you would drop it for dead"

"I kinda want to. Maybe it'll fade in time"

"It will, I can feel it. We'll be alright Feliciano Vargas"

Feli smiled through his falling tears and hugged Ludwig close again.

"I love you Ludwig Beilschmidt"

"I love you too. Thank you for waking up"

* * *

When morning came around again, and the others started to flock to Feli's room, the hospital seemed to lighten up like fireworks in dead inky night. Feli was awake and greeted his family and second families like nothing happened. They were amazed by his happiness after so much darkness. He did tell them his tale of being under Derick's roof and under the thumb of Lier's Den, not leaving a detail out or candy coated. The chains keeping him locked, the poor conditions, the small lights he had with Jackie and Monika, even the rape. He did react when he told that part, but was calmed through his fratello and Ludwig. They absorbed every word Feli spoke. As he finished his tale, and wiped the disobedient tears still falling, Lovino stood up and called for the others attentions. Feli watched with a curious look.

"Um…well, I think it's time to face facts. I wanted to-"

Before he could finish however, Antonio finally walked in with a loud yawn. Feli waved at him as he shut the door.

"Buongiorno Antonio" Feli warmly welcomed him. Antonio laughed and hugged little Feli before he was grabbed by Lovino and pulled up to him.

"Perfect timing bastardo" Lovino growled. Antonio chuckled, rubbing his head.

"Sorry, I slept in. I was tired"

"Come on, fratello, what were you going to tell us?" Feli asked, poking at his brother's shoulder. Lovino blushed suddenly and quickly grabbed one of Antonio's hands, which Ludwig and Feliciano noticed while the motion went unnoticed by everyone else. Ludwig chuckled and smiled.

"So you're coming out of the closet with Antonio finally Lovino?" Ludwig called out, causing said Italian to yell and explode into a tomato red blush. Everyone suddenly was handing around bet money, and that cause Lovino to get even madder.

"You took bets?!" Lovino hissed at them all. Even Romulus took bets and seemed to win a good amount.

"We knew that you liked him, bambino. Ever since he started to help you" Romulus said standing up to face him. "I've already accepted one gay grandson; I see no point rejecting another"

Lovino smiled and hugged his grandfather, while Feli had to clap. As Lovino pulled back from Romulus, he turned to his brother. Sebastian soon stood up as well.

"I'm glad you've changed so much fratello. You have my vote, if that's being used right" Feli said with a chuckle, and accepted the incoming hug from Lovino.

"Do I get to say something?" Sebastian questioned. Lovino pulled away from Feli and nodded at his younger sibling. All Sebby did was raise his hand up in a high five and Lovino followed up with it and high-fived his brother. Soon the room was celebrating for Feliciano's return to them and Lovino's acceptance of a long buried love. Feli pondered though as they all talked with Ludwig.

"You know…..I know it's weird to look at this like such but it reminds me of Derick…"

"He hurt others to push away his feelings and sexuality? It seems right but did he know Antonio before this?"

Feli shrugged. It didn't really matter. Lovino was changing, and everyone was as well. He grabbed at Ludwig's hand and leaned on him once again.

Things were no longer coming down around them. It was finally looking up for them.

* * *

_**Did it end okay? I hope. I did however want to tell you my plans now from here. I want to try and make a sequel, I really do. Try and focus on Ludwig a little more, expand the GerIta...**_

_**I won't too far in it, but keep an eye out on me for it! Thank you again so much for following this story and the journey of it. I hope you come to the sequel when it comes out.**_

_**~Fin for now~**_


	23. An Author's Thanks

_**EDIT 1- Edits and Rewriting of Chapters 1-7 is done and posted.**_

_**EDIT 2- Edits and Rewriting of Chapters 8-14 is done and posted**_

Hey everyone! I wanted to say thank you so much for following this story and reviewing and keeping me going. I know this isn't another chapter but I wanted to get a bit of word out to everyone keeping tabs on this story and it's upcoming sequel.

I have plans currently in motion to edit and comb out the typos I made in every chapter. Yes, so a bit of rewriting and addition to the chapters. I will probably update in chunks of seven-eight chapters a piece because its mostly the typos I'm fixing. Yes, there is a bit of added content so you may want to go back and reread it all over again to see what's changed. Maybe for those he missed their review can tell me how I did! If I keep my update schedule up, there will be only three or four updates to this story and then the second part of Feli and Ludwig's journey will be up!

And this is just for those who come here after my rewriting/editing:

Well...you came a bit late! Haha...it's okay, at least you got to the end. Take a seat in the lobby while you wait for the next part. I hope you liked it as much as the first wave did with the originals. I poured so much into all of this.

I have decided a title for our next part:

_**Safe And Sound **_(Yes, that song by Taylor Swift. It fits, right?)

So keep tabs on this story and on my main page on that story. I will update this last little note telling you when it's up. the release will work with the final update to the chapters. I will only give one little thing to you to sate your taste for the story and it's that the rating for this next part..._may or may not go up to **M**._ You can decide and give opinions in the reviews or PM me with anything you'd like to tell. I crave your opinion people!

I also just...wanted to thank you all for supporting me and my story. This story started out as a oneshot, something to keep myself from diving off my life cliff. Then slowly it developed into something that pushed away my depression and now I'm looking at my most successful story ever sitting at over 100 reviews and 5k+ views. I wrote SO MUCH for this, and that chapter count!

For a person who writes a lot of one shots and short stories, 22 chapters and 85, 456 words is a big deal. The story is among the ranks of so may successful others with over 100 reviews! I feel almost too honored to be with some of the elite. I just can't thank you enough for this opportunity.

So stay tuned, keep in contact, and can't wait to see you for 'Part of Me'.

From _GuardianAthens_, with much author love.


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